Uncertain Ground

Work was alright today. I made a lot of ice cream and that helped the time to fly past. Usually I am horribly bored, so it's been a nice change making ice cream on the weekend. Before I was making ice cream on Tuesday mornings, waffle cones on Thursdays and I would help customers on Saturday. Saturdays can be busy, but not until after 2pm. I have liked the change the past two weeks, even if I have less hours. Right now I only do waffles on Thursday and ice cream on Saturday. I still get to help customers when I have the time of course. I'm also looking for another job, but that will take a while I think. I actually applied for Macey's grocery store late last night. I hope I get that cashier job.

We got a new manager a couple of weeks ago. His name is Heber. I don't know much about Heber yet and it makes me kind of nervous. I've had a bad manager before and every time I get a new one I'm always afraid history is going to repeat itself. Not knowing much about my new manager is uncomfortable. I hope I learn something new about him at our next work meeting. So far all I've deduced is that he is kind of strict, but that isn't very helpful. In fact is just makes me nervous. I am feeling very uncertain right now. I hope he turns out to be a good manager. He is my 4th manager. I can always quit if he turns out to be bad for me. I just have to keep reminding myself that. My mental health comes first. I've been working at Coldstone for too long anyway. I really need to write about my work history soon. It has been a crazy ride.

Ice Cream Overload

Yesterday I had work. I just made waffle bowls and cones. I was having anxiety for the first part of my day, so I was eager to get out of there.

I walked around the mall and went to Deseret Book just to look around. I also went to Farr’s Fresh ice cream and got a crazy concoction of flavors that were bizarre. I couldn't decide, so I got all the flavors I was interested in. The problem is that I got too much ice cream. The soft serve machines were kind of runny yesterday. I even got my hands sticky by trying to get samples. In the end I ended up getting grapefruit, lemon, caramel apple, and two other flavors that I have blanked out at the moment. I'll never try that again because it was really weird. Not all my crazy concoctions backfire on me, but that one sure did. I really do need to keep in mind how flavors work together.

I also ate out at a local Osaka Japanese Grill for lunch before work. I had rice, veggies, and a beef and meat combination. I was trying to eat healthy, something I sabotaged when I ate the ice cream after work. I also got a pretzel with cheese sauce after I ate ice cream. I spent way too much on food yesterday and now I regret that. It really was a waste of money. I only worked for an hour, so I could have waited until I got home. I don't think I'll ever do that again.

Today I was at the mall for most of the day looking around stores. I just hung out and went a bunch of random places including Michael's Craft Store, Best Buy, and Halloween Town which open every Halloween. I prefer Zurchers for my Halloween stuff, but Halloween Town can be nice to look at even if it is overpriced. I was around the mall for hours. I was waiting for my check to come, but the owner was late tonight and he still wasn't there by the time the bank closed, so I'll just get my check tomorrow. This means I am broke with only $15 to my name until Monday, which sucks. The owner never is that late, so I was and still am a little irritated. It's really uncomfortable having nothing to spend. Now I'm regretting buying two protein bars for lunch today. I was really hungry, and they were great, but that's just less money until Monday, oh well...

Anyway, I should have something else written soon. I just had to mention this stuff tonight. I have work tomorrow, so I'll probably have a lot to say tomorrow. I'm not really enjoying my job right now.

Play-Doh Numbers

When I was in the first grade we got help memorizing numbers by making them with Play-Doh. The thing that we did different though was that we baked those numbers in an oven we had in the classroom. I don’t know why we baked Play-Doh or if it’s even possible now, but I think it was so we could keep the numbers around. Maybe it was just for fun. I’m not sure, but I think we might have taken some home. Maybe not, but i don't know. It was such a long time ago. That memory is so vague I’m not sure. I remember thinking those oven baked numbers were so cool. I’d never done anything like that before, and I haven't done it since. That was a one of a kind experience. I also remember telling my family when I got home from school I think.

My teacher Mrs Ogden was kind of scary and strict, but she was determined to teach us. I give her credit for my ability to read. I was in a special ed class with about 7 other people. I had my first crush that year and I got in trouble a lot for looking at him. His name was Cameron. I saw Cameron 20 years ago when I was in summer school after the 5th grade, but that is a story for another time. Cameron moved away in the 1st grade and I didn't see him again until summer school that time.
The other memory that comes to mind is the time that we were memorizing the months of the year. Each of us took turns telling them to Mrs. Ogden and if we got it right we got an eraser that said a month of the year. I think mine said January.

So those are my most vivid memories from the first grade. if I remember any more I'll write about them in the future.

Lag Induced Transparency

Laura made some chocolate chip cookies yesterday. We also had a nice salad with some kind of vinaigrette dressing, nits, chicken, and probably something else, but I don't remember. I don't know if it sounds weird, but it was pretty good. The cookies we had after were very welcoming too.
Today I tried out the new OGX Tea Tree Peppermint conditioner I got yesterday. I also tried out some of this hair product I've been saving since before I cut my hair a year ago. Instead of typing out the name, I'll just leave a picture of it below. My hair wasn't long enough for a while to try it, but it is now. I blow dried my hair and it came out soft and smooth. I almost bought some other hair products, yesterday, but I'm glad I didn't waste the money. It seems like I don't need anything else after all. I don't know if it's because of the conditioner, the product, or both, but my hair doesn't have a ton of static like it did before.

Here is my hair today.

I have been using the OGX Coconut milk conditioner for a long time up until a few days ago. I ran out, and I've been using Garnea Fructis 2 in one Shampoo and Conditioner since then. It just doesn't do enough for my hair, so I had to buy a new conditioner.

Oh yeah, here is the other hair product I used today. I think I like it a lot.

I kept this in my hair stuff for a long time without using it. I think it's pretty cool now.

 This is the conditioner I got

I don't do much on Tuesdays anymore since I quit being scheduled. I guess my new manager just doesn't feel like a lot of people need to be scheduled on Tuesday anymore. I used to make ice cream on Tuesday mornings, but now I do it on Saturdays, and I help customers too. I made waffle cones and bowls on Thursdays. I didn't blog a lot after I started working at Coldstone Creamery, so not a lot has been said on here about my job. I'm going to do a job history post soon. It's been a wild ride, and it's worth writing about.

The most eventful thing to happen to me today besides a good hair day, was having to listen to Natalie go through her emotional problems and anxiety. She doesn't know how to control her emotions very well yet. She struggles a lot with some of the same issues I have like OCD, depression, anxiety, and PTSD which I can't relate to a lot. I've never had PTSD to my knowledge. Maybe a bit from losing friends, but she has it worse. I won't give any details beyond this because that would be rude. I just had to write something because it's hard to deal with sometimes and this blog is one of my coping mechanisms. She has a lot of negative energy sometimes and it gets to me. Sometimes I just want to tell her to shut up, but I know that isn't the answer at all, so I'll never do that. It's been a lot harder for her since she turned 18 as well. I know what it's like having a lot of doubts and being confused with adult life.

Heck, I'm still confused with adult life and I'm 30. Haha.

So, I won't say anything bad about her, even though she drives me nuts sometimes. The rest of my day wasn't too eventful. Everyone else went to a choir concert but Natalie and I. I stayed home and played games on Roblox. Yes, I am an avid player of Roblox. I love spending time on there. I have spent less time on there lately because I'm trying to spend less money. I love building houses in Bloxburg and supporting my favorite developers. Also, I struggle a lot socially and being able to spend time having fun in games helps me a lot. It’s simple, and helps me keep my mind off of negative things.

We had tacos for dinner tonight, and after I got on Roblox and my inernet was being stupid while I was trying to play Epic Minigames. Anyway, I had a really cool lag induced bug that made my avatar go transparent. I also got stuck in mid air.

After a few minutes and one disconnection my internet was fine again. I didn't end up playing for a long time. I got off to play some old DOS games on various websites. I played a little Skyroads, and some Ken's Labyrinth. I grew up in the 90's, so I love playing DOS games.

I'm currently watching YouTube videos. This is all for now.

Cleaning Up Digital Clutter

This week was a big week for cleaning up digital clutter. I managed to clean out a couple of YouTube channels and closed my wordpress blogs. I've decided that I don't need to have more than one blog, and I definitely don't need more than 2 YouTube channels. 

Of course, this means I'm going to have to go through my blog and fix the broken pictures and videos, but I'm okay with that. I'll get to that eventually though. 

I've been trying to take some pressure off of myself. Sometimes I expect too much of myself and end up spreading myself too thin. It's not healthy for me mentally or emotionally. Staying uncluttered and not trying to be everywhere at once helps me to not be so stressed. Also, I've been being careful to to be too obsessed with organization. Like for example, the first time I created a Pinterest account I stressed myself out by trying to over organize. I had to delete my account and start over again. I'm definitely organized with my current account, but not too organized.

Next I'm going to upload some of the videos off of my deleted YouTube channels to my main youtube channel. I have some editing to do on those though, so it's going to probably be a while.

I don't know when I'll finish all my plans, but I'll get to that eventually. I just have to be patient.

Snap Back to Reality

I was checking my wordpress to see if I forgot to post anything from there on here. Sometimes I don't feel like posting on here. I found this post from almost a year ago that talked about these two interviews I had last year in November.

One of them was at Dairy Queen, and the other was for Bath & Body Works.

The post said how confident I was about how I did for my interviews. I just HAD to write about this. I have a completely different view now. I did so many things wrong.

I had my Bath & Body Works interview after my Dairy Queen interview. I was so excited about my Bath & Body Works interview that I let myself get distracted. I think I might have even talked about it in my Dairy Queen interview which was stupid. Besides that blunder I came in looking like a mess to my Dairy Queen interview. Needless to say I didn't get the job at Dairy Queen. I couldn't have been more obvious that I wasn't really into working at Dairy Queen. To be honest, I was relieved. I don't really ever want to work with ice cream ever again if I can help it. That job wasn't a great fit for me.

I had my interview at Bath & Body Works a couple days after I think. I'm not entirely sure how far apart they were, or if they were on the same day. That part is a little fuzzy to me. I made sure I looked nicer than I did for my Dairy Queen interview and was pretty confident. I think that the reason I didn't get the job was because I didn't have enough sales experience. I don't know if I'll try again this year because I can't say I have any more sales experience than I had last year.

So, looking back on that was funny to me. I just had to write about it. It's amazing how much I have realized since last year. I still have a long way to go though of course. I got kind of a late start in the world of employment. I have no idea what I'm going to end up doing or even what I want to do right now. I'm sure I'll figure it out though.