My Pixie Cut Is Back

Long story short, I cut my hair.

I’ll be honest. There is some regret. I’m not too worried however, because my hair grows pretty fast. I do like my pixie cut, but I don’t think I’ll keep it.
I made the mistake of trying to ignore my hair the whole time I grew it out. Because I did that I never got used to it. I ended up just getting annoyed with it in the end, so I’m starting over. I’m going to make sure to have fun with my hair this time around.

Throughout My Life I have always Sworn I would never vote For aDemocrat...

Look where I am now though? I'm looking more into things, getting the info I never looked into last time, I'm being smarter and more open minded now. I never ever thought in the past that me (as a dedicated Republican) would ever vote for a democrat. I've allays thought that they were evil and stuff, I thought that they were always wrong, and that they would destroy the country. 

I've come to see now that not everyone that is a Democrat is the same, not al of them think the same, not all their plans are the same. In the past I've never really been that interested in even looking into them. When I first heard of Barack Obama a couple of months ago when I started paying attention to the news I had my doubts at first but now he seems like the perfect candidate to me. In the process I've opened my mind to new possibilities. 

Some of it had to do with the fact that earlier in the race my parents supported him so I came t think it was okay and thus opened my mind to the possibilities. Even now even thought they are going for McCain now I still see why I should vote for Barack Obama. At this point nothing can shake my decision on the matter.

UPDATE: I voted for McCain! *cheezie 50's commercial tone*

Weird Stage in Life...

I'm at that weird stage of life where your not quite a teenager but not quite an adult. Those few months before you enter the terrible twenties and your still figuring out where to start in life. 

Maybe I've been enjoying my teen years to much, maybe my parents have been spoiling me. I feel guilty, I feel like I haven't done enough for them when they do almost everything for me. this whole thing with my mom having health problems and my whole family going through a hard time has opened my eyes. I'm probably the most fortunate person in my family. I don't have health problems, I don't have to worry about school right now, I have a ton of free time, I'm basically free. Since most of my real life friends have left me for some odd reason to have new friends I don't really have to worry about that either. 

Now that my eyes are opened I'm starting to feel this pressure that I've never had to deal with before. My family is pressuring me and telling me to get a  job, and to hep out with paying for stuff all of the sudden. I know its for my mom but I still feel so young! I may be 19 but I don't look, act, feel, or think like I'm 19. My friends say that I have the wrong age. I'm smart and stuff and I can thinK through things like an adult but I still have that strong urge to be young and its causing me problems. Its a problem for me I haven't even thought about getting a job (not seriously anyway).  I don't even know where to start now that I'm finally being pulled into this world, the real world of chaos and sadness, of war, and of disagreements. 

There are so many people I know I need to help but I'm a little scared. I feel so young but old, my personality has like 2 halves and they constantly have a war against each other.  I'm afraid to get a  job, I'm afraid of the real world I'm afraid of the people that I might meet. I know this probably sounds silly but its true. I'm not exactly the most social person and if I tried to actually say these things that I have written down I would probably loose my voice. ha ha.  so much to say.  I don't think that I was built for actually talking. My kind of talking is typing. 

I hope this made sense. **laugh**

The More I Think About it the More I am Confused!!

Have you ever been in the situation where someone asks you what you want to for a career path you think you know what you want to do and you start talking about it but the more you talk about it the more you think of other stuff you want to do? It happened to me the other day.

I was talking to a job counselor the other day and we were talking about my future plans. I started by saying that I wanted to be an english teacher but as the conversation progressed I slowly changed to a job where I could work with computers. So now I have plans to do something with computers like be a technician or a web designer, or something like that. I never thought I didn't know what I wanted to do until I started talking about it it was so weird.

I now realize that I should have considered the fact that my interest don't match up with m abilities that much. The only thing that i'm really interested in and that I'm able to do is stuff with computers. I have a  hard time learning but when it comes to stuff that has to do with computers it just makes sense. I never once thought about the fact that I'm better at stuff that has to do with computers than I am with writing. I love to write and I love to read, I though that I would want to be a writer but now I think I just want to be a blogger, a professional blogger on top of the tech job I choose. I think that's perfect for me. 

Anyway no other thoughts on this right now. ha ha.