White Cane Safety Day

I chose today to return to Xanga because today is kind of special to me. Today is White Cane Safety Day / Blind Americans Equality Day. White Cane Day is an international day that is celebrated in more than just our country. It's a day for recognizing blind and visually impaired people, it's a day for recognizing the white cane and it's importance, and it's a day for equality.

Some of you know I was born blind, but after a year I started to get my sight back. I never got it completely back, but I do have enough to get around. I am legally blind in both eyes even with correction. My best eye can only be corrected to 20/200 and the other 20/300. I have almost no depth perception, I have ocular albinism, and Nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eyes). I started going to the school for the blind in the 2nd grade, I was there for almost 4 years (until half way through 5th grade). They taught us about canes and how to use them, braille, mainstream stuff like math, English, reading, and a few other things I don't remember right now.  I met some of my best friends there. When I first got there there was only 5 or 6 other people in the class, then they had a class for younger students next door. We also did stuff like music, and art, and we played on the playground.  There was 3 or 4 different teachers that helped us in class, everything was very organized and I loved it at that school very much. We had this system set up where we would earn fake money if we were good, and at the end of the week we would hold a little store where we could buy stuff. I think I have talked about this in the past, but I don't remember. It was always a blast at that school, I loved it so much it was amazing. I did have rough times sometimes, but it usually worked out.

I actually have a memory from one year there of us celebrating white cane day. We invited the sighted kids to come and do stuff with us in the gym there at the school. It was so long ago, all I remember is that we had made or gotten a bunch of simulation goggles that simulated different vision problems. We let people put those on and use the white canes we had. We also taught people how to use the white canes as well. I didn't know it was white Cane Safety Day that day, but I still had fun! Actually I didn't even know about White Cane Safety Day until 3 years ago, it's surprising I never caught onto it. I am extra glad I remembered that day we had in school now.  I had a crush on a boy named Jessie back then, I remember he was there too.

My best friend there was Eric, you probably know about him a little bit. He was my best friend until my first year of college back in 2007 -2008. I had to quit talking to him after he got married. I had a couple rough years after I had to let him go because we had been so close. When we met at the school for the blind we didn't always get along, we actually fought a lot, but we always made up. He could be scary sometimes (he is very big), and had a kind of bad temper from losing his dad and stuff but we always had fun with each other.

I have had a cane for most of my life, but have been too stubborn to use it up until a few years ago. I don't use it all the time, just sometimes because glasses really don't do enough for me.  There are 2 types of canes for visually impaired people. There is the ID cane, which is more for letting people know you have bad vision rather than for getting around (it does help but that is not what it's primary purpose is). Then there are mobility canes which are for not only letting people know you have bad or no vision, but for getting around. People that can get around, but still have a little bit of trouble but don't need the cane all the time might use an ID cane. I currently only have a mobility cane and I feel a bit weird using it because I don't need it all the time. I am going to get an ID cane because I know I won't feel as weird using it. 

Not everyone that uses a cane is completely blind, there are actually quite a few people that use a cane that aren't completely blind, so don't be surprised when you see a person with a cane sometimes do something a sighted person can do. Anyone that is legally blind or worse can use a White cane.

There are three different materials you can get a cane in. Graphite, aluminum, and fiber glass. There are solid canes, folding canes and telescope canes so far as types go. The most sturdy ones are the graphite ones, that is what mine is currently. Mobility canes have a golf grip at the top, ID canes do not. If you want to know more about the design of canes you can go to the AmbuTech website.  ID canes are also lighter than mobility canes, cheaper and not as sturdy.  I guess this is the case because they are built more for identification rather than for mobility. My vision is unpredictable so I want to have both types.

I have created a Twitter for facts about blind people it's @theblindfacts  if you are on twitter follow my 2nd account. :)

Anyway, I got glasses 5 years ago but I got the prescription for those at a kind of bad eye doctor so I haven't had an accurate prescription in over 6 years now, possibly more. Today I went and found the glasses I am going to be buying next month probably. I don't use glasses that much because they make me feel like I lose my awareness because they mess up my peripheral vision and stuff. I do use them for movies, video games, tv, and other stuff like that however. Outside those kinds of things glasses really have no use for me. I have my own way of doing things. I have refused to wear them for my whole life, so now I'm just so used to going without them that it's just too weird to use them all the time.

I didn't end up using my cane at all today, but I have been keeping track of those who do use their canes, like friends and stuff. It takes a lot more guts than people realize to use a cane in public. Almost everyone that uses a cane has had to overcome the obstacle of self consciousness.

So, today after I picked out my glasses I went to school. Nothing that interesting happened in English, in Astronomy we talked about Saturn and Jupiter though, that was awesome. In Pilate's today I didn't wear my exercise clothes because I thought we were having a test review day, it turns out that is only for Yoga this week and not Pilates, so I had to do the class today in my jeans and green shirt, it was kind of weird. I definitely see why no one would ever want to do it in jeans.

After school my mom got a lamp fixed and we bought some pumpkins from the store and then went home. That is what has happened so far.  If anything happens I'll edit when the day is done. 

Anyway, so that was my day today. Some people hold White Cane walks to the state capitol in some states on White Cane Safety Day. I am not sure if my state does that, but I have seen people in other states that have done that.  In New Hampshire they actually took it a step further and made shirts as well which I think is very cool. The mayor then gives some kind of declaration, I'm not sure exactly what it is but it has to do with blind people and their rights and stuff like that. I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with the day itself as well. It takes place at the state capitol of the states that hold the white cane walk. I saw last year a group of visually impaired dancers even did a flash mob. Of course some people choose to celebrations before or after White cane safety Day as well because the actual day might not be convenient for some people and other situations.

White Cane Safety Day Flash Mob (2011)

The music used in this video is the actual music they used.  If you pay attention closely you can hear them playing at the same time.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qjecAbHtWo]

I guess this is all for now. I'll edit later if I decide I need to say anything more. :)

Oh and did you guys know that this month is also Disability Awareness month?

Please rec his post. I think more people should know about White Cane Safety Day / blind American's Equality Day.  <3

White Cane (part 2)

Around September I wrote a previous post about my cane, so I decided to put part 2 on the title.  ( I completely forgot about my other post until i was looking through my posts haha.)

So if you read my last post, (not septembers post but the one I did yesterday),  you know my vision sucks and that I sometimes use my White Cane. Mine is a folding cane, it's just likea  regular cane only it folds into 5 pieces. I have been familiar with canes ever since I was in the 2nd grade, we were given canes to use back then and I used mine sometimes but not often.  I went through this really super long phase where I refused to wear glasses or use my cane unless if I was out with my other visually impaired friends or with my blind friends. I was no stranger when it came to this kind of attitude, I have memories clear back to when I was 3 years old and even back then I refused to wear glasses.  I have this thing about being independent, and self suficent, and I hate looking weak or helpless in front of people.

As I got older, toward my high school years I started to realize that it would actually help if I used my cane in situations. For those of you that read my last post you know the reason why I don't wear glasses. I didn't know this reason though, back in my high school years it was just because I wasn't used to them, and I hadn't worn them for so long it was weird whenever I did.  I didn't have a solid reason back then.

Now, 3 years after I decided to take a break from college and straighten things out, fix my many problems and get my life together I am just now understanding. I am realizing like I said in my last post that while the glasses do not help that much besides when I watch TV, movies, or play video games,  my cane does help a lot.

I have brought my white cane to various places before and I was a little nervous, but it turned out fine. Now that i am planning on using it all the time I have had to build up my confidence and courage a lot. You might think that making the decision to use my white cane is an easy one, but really it is not that easy. I am not the only one that suffered with the hardships that go with this decision. Almost everyone that I know that has denied that they needed the can for years but ended up using it had to go through a few things.  First of all some of the people had to get their families to accept their new found can usage. I've never had trouble with this my family is very accepting, so no trouble with that one. Then there is another one where you have to overcome the nervousness around your friends. I told my friends about my cane and I am currently working on this one, it doesn't cause me too much anxiety, because I know those people, it is kind of hard to use it around them though after not using it for so long.  I am working through this one very well.  Then you have to learn how to deal with every day people. I don't mind it when people ask me if I need help, or if they can ask me questions. The thing that bothers me about this one is when people just look or stare at me. I am not accustomed to attracting a lot of attention and so it makes me very uncomfortable, it's very nerve wracking. 

I am working on getting over this, but I never realized it to the full extent until I went to Costco today and it was busy and I had people staring at me and glancing at me, it was really uncomfortable.  I don't like drawing attention to myself so it was extremely weird. I think this will be my greatest challenge, just getting used to people looking at me when I use my cane.  I'm so used to hiding my impairment that it's weird now that people actually have a way to recognize that I am legally blind it's a little uncomfortable.

I have no issues with the other problems people go through, like feeling like I'm inferior, or feeling more disabled, or a few other things that don't come to mind right now.  I'm not to worried about the problems I do have, everyone that is like me had to go through these hurtles.

So that is what I wanted to say for now. :)

If you guys have any questions feel free to ask. :)

Friends, Self Consciousness, and Tripping Down Stairs!

This is a note I posted on facebook earlier. I just thought it would be cool to share it here as well. :)

 

Wow, so I never really bring his up, but I have a few things I am worried about. I just need to tell my friends about some things.

 

Knowing is better than not knowing especially when it comes to the subject of my vision.

 

Well some, at least most of you know that my vision is really bad. I have multiple vision problems.  My vision is very blurry, my peripheral vision is good but not perfect, I have nystagmus, astigmatism, ocular albinism, and almost no depth perception at all.

 

So you are probably wondering why I don't wear glasses? Well that is simple, it has nothing to do with the way I look really. I really like my glasses a lot, but I rely on my whole field of vision to get around, not just my center or my side vision, or whatever. When I wear glasses I can become very disoriented because my vision is mostly focused in the confines, the boundaries of the lenses, and/ or the frames.  I lose some awareness of everything around me, this has more negative effects than positive effects for me. They make my vision better, but they take away my sense of security I guess you can say because of the loss of awareness of things around me.  I rely on more than just my sight to see, most of you probably don't notice but I rely on my sense of hearing and touch as much or possibly even more than I rely on my sense of sight. When I wear glasses it distracts from these senses, and I become more distracted by stuff around me and am actually more likely not to notice something coming, or a person, or and obstacle in my way.  So it really bothers me wearing glasses, so I just don't.  I can get around better without them, than with them.  :)

 

I really have tried not to focus too much attention on my vision problems. I have always tried to seem as normal in front of people as I can possibly manage. I have come to realize lately however as I am getting older, and possibly a little wiser, it is probably better for people to know and understand just how bad my vision is.  I'm kind of worried about people not knowing sometimes now because I have realized that not knowing can cause more problems sometimes.  Basically I am legally blind even with glasses on, I have nystagmus, astigmatism, and nearly no depth perception like I said above.  In other words my vision is dreadful, even worse is my lack of depth perception. Blurriness and no depth perception do not go to well together, on top of my nystagmus.  It is a sheer miracle I have the ability to tell people apart since I can't even see clearly 1 and a half feet in front of my face.  Sometimes I tell people apart by the sound of their voice instead. sometimes I combine this ability with what I am able to see to more accurately tell who people are.  Whenever I go to the eye doctor he or she is always really surprised I can get around as well as I do, I always surprise them because even people with better vision than mine have trouble getting around more than I do. 

 

So you are probably wondering if I use a cane?  the answer is yes, sometimes I do use a cane. I used to never use the cane, but with depth perception as bad as mine it really helps a lot more than glasses. Usually what problems glasses can not fix for me the cane can. It basically bridges the gap between what I can and can not see better than glasses can.

 

Quite honestly I am self conscious using it, so I try to be as independent as i can and not use it but the more I think about it lately that is a really bad oxymoron. I am afraid if I use it more around my friends they will become more uncomfortable around me. I really don't want to make anyone feel awkward, or uncomfortable around me at all.  I am  fine with strangers or people that I don't very well seeing me with the cane, but when I want to use it around my friends I often get nervous, and chicken out. This is really the only reason why I do not use it all the time. I really like using my cane and I want to use it all the time but I just have a problem wit this one little thing.  I should use it all the time and I know that, and honestly every eye doctor, or O & M (orientation and mobility) instructor, anyone that knows a lot about vision would say the same thing. In fact they have all been nagging me my whole life to use it, I am a stubborn person though ha ha. 

 

So basically I don't want my friends to feel uncomfortable, or feel weird around me if I end up using it like I want to all the time. I will still be the same person, it won't make me any less capable of doing stuff, the exact opposite is true, it will help me be MORE capable of doing stuff and actually make it easier for other people. I don't want to have to worry about these things so that is why I am telling you guys this stuff. I am an independent person and I catch onto stuff fairly quickly.  When i travel without the cane I have to look at the ground a lot and be careful where i step because I have no sense of depth so I can't see drop offs or stairs, rocks, bumps, pits, etc. I completely miss that stuff most of the time unless of the shadow is just right.  I'm tired of looking at the ground, I should be focusing on everything around me. This is probably the strongest reason why I want to use the cane. I am tired of missing drop offs, and almost falling down stairs or falling over holes and bumps, rocks, etc.  It get's very annoying.

 

Anyway, so that is basically the message I want all my friends to know. I want them to know how I feel about this.

 

Fun facts about my vision.

 

• Because of my nystagmus I can only read with 1 eye at a time.  the involuntary movement of my eyes makes me unable to read with both eyes in sync.  I read with only my left eye.  I could probably read with my right eye too, but I have to read further away with my right eye and my nystagmus would make me lose my place a lot more at that distance. I already lose my place a lot already haha.
• You probably caught onto this but my lack of eye color is from my 'Ocular Albinism". it's basically what it sounds like, lack of color in the eyes. Mine is due to a genetic defect.  A lot of people with ocular albinism have Nystagmus, and some of the same things I have trouble with. My real eye color was supposed to be light blue
• I was completely blind for the first year of my life, then by some miracle my brain generated an alternative vision center on it's own which is supposed to be impossible. My vision slowly came back  after this. Not completely but it came back.
• I am not good at memorizing people's physical appearance, most of the time it takes me a few weeks to remember faces since I have really blurry vision. it's a miracle I can work with what information I have. I have become quite good at telling people apart despite my vision, it's really quite a miracle. 
• I require very little assistance, I get around very well on my own. Most of the time I never end up having to ask people for help.
• I learned braille at one time in my life, I don't really use it though. haha.
• some of my best friends are blind. My best friend that got married is blind in one eye and is legally blind in the other. 
• I lose people in crowds a lot if I am not careful.  Some people are easier to stay with than others for some reason though, usually the ones I really like a lot

 

If you guys have any questions or are wondering about something after you read this please leave a comment. I like questions. :)