I have been looking for alternative modes of transportation. I am legally blind so I can't drive. For the past hour or so I have been looking at scooters, bikes, Rollerblades, etc. The one thing I notice almost right away is everything is EXPENSIVE! Every time I find something I like I always find it's at least $100 or more. I was thinking of getting a Razor Scooter as well, but the thing is I exceed the weight capacity (at least for now), so that is out of the question. I even looked at the electric Razor scooters and they take even less weight capacity. Transportation is one of the bigger obstacles I have to face in my journey for true independence. I really want to become more independent / self sufficient. Right now I feel like I am too dependant on my parents and that is not a good feeling. Sometimes I feel like they do everything for me. Sometimes I feel like they doubt me a little too much, and sometimes I don't feel like they are motivating enough. I constantly hear then doubt me when I suggest stuff I want to do. I've pretty much realized that I can't keep listening to them all the time, I have to find out for myself what I can and can't do. I guess this is the first step. I have a long way to go in my journey, but I know I will make it someday. I sometimes with that they had been a little more diligent when it comes to teaching me how to take care of myself. I don't know how, or how long it will take, but someday I will be able to manage on my own. I have seen people with worse disabilities do so.
Sometimes I have a problem with taking the opinions and doubts of other people too seriously, this has been a real road block. This roadblock is something I need to break down completely. I think I will have an easier time gaining motivation and confidence if I do this. I have to make mistakes sometimes.
Sundays aren't really that busy for me ever. I washed my hair yesterday night so I wouldn't have to wake up at 7am to do it. My church starts at 9:30, so I have to wake up early. My church building is about 15 minutes away, I usually get a ride with another person because I can't drive as you know. Sometimes I fail to get a ride. I either forget, procrastinate, or my ride cancels at the last minute, or doesn't see my text. Today I did not get a ride, I think it was because the people did not see my texts. I hate calling people, I usually avoid that, and it usually works. Sometimes however it doesn't work. I think I might need to try a little harder, get more contacts on my phone, more people that are in my ward. So far since we changed church buildings in March or April I have been pretty good about getting to church. I have only been without a ride 5 or 6 times.
We used to use the church building that is a block away, but they wanted all the single young adults to be together. They organized us into steaks and wards (I am LDS), and so now all the young single adults made up their own stakes (there are 3 stakes here where I live that are just made up of young single adults). We changed buildings, so it became harder to me to get to church. We used to use the local church building a block away but that changed when they decided to group all the single young adults together. We had to start using the church building near the college. In the past each local stake had 1 singles ward in it, but they decided to just group all our wards into stakes. There are 10 or 15 wards in a stake I think. I think there are over 30 singles wards that are organized into 3 stakes now. That is just in my area, there are even more elsewhere. Wards usually consist of 100 or more people. People in different areas go to different singles wards, it depends on where you live.
Since I didn't get a ride today I just went to my family ward. Family wards are for people under age 18 or people that are married and have families. Once a person turns 18, or after they go on their mission (for the boys), people usually move to the singles ward. This ward is for young single adults. I have been going to one of these wards for almost 4 years now. Anyway, so I just went to my family ward today. It's always super weird going back to the family ward now that I have been in the singles ward for so long. I really don't like going to my family ward very much. I am usually late for my family ward when I fail to get a ride because my family ward starts a half an hour before my young single adult ward. I usually end up having to go to another wards sacrament meeting to get the sacrament a couple hours later.
Today was fast Sunday, my church has one of those once a month where we fast for at least 2 meals. Some people choose to fast longer. We usually have a testimony meeting in church on that day as well where anyone can just come up the the pulpit and bear their testimony. I do that sometimes, but I haven't done it in a few months.
Anyway, I got home about noon and watched anime for a while. I took another nap about an hour and a half after I got home. I fell asleep listening to the 'Unofficial One Piece Podcast". It's one of my favorite podcasts.
When I woke up it was around 4:30. My dad was making dinner, my sister in law Kayla was here with my niece who is really adorable. They were outside looking at the plants and talking about stuff. I don't remember exactly what they were talking about but I think it was stuff from our childhoods. I was out there for a while listening to them talk. My niece is only about 7 months old now I think, she is adorable. We had her sitting on the picnic table outside in our backyard. Her mom was right behind her making sure she didn't fall off / fall over.
I told my mom about the bees in the swing set, she told me we could probably get rid of them somehow. I'm sure my nieces would like to be able to play on the swing set again. We need to replace the swings. haha. It doesn't even have a slide right now, we nee to get a new slide as well I think.
At some point when I was outside I went and looked at my neighbor's bunny, it is very cute. I didn't touch it or anything though, it's not used to me yet. I forgot what it's name is. I will make sure to take a picture sometime.
We had dinner around 5 or 6 I think. My dad made fajitas but I didn't really eat one because it had stuff in it that I can't eat on my diet. I had chicken, tomatoes, and celery for dinner. It was pretty filling as usual. I don't like beef that much anyway anymore. Ever since I got sick a few months ago I have lost my liking for it pretty much.
I went downstairs after I ate and resumed playing around with "Seamless Studio". It's a new program made by COLOURlovers.com. It's great for making amazing patterns. I have been playing with it all day in little amounts of time.
My visiting teaching companion decided to make an unannounced visit and she took me visiting teaching. I had to hurry and get my shoes on and go. Visiting teaching is where we are assigned to 1 or 2 people in our church ward and we go to their house and teach them a lesson about the gospel. Today we only went to one person't house. The lesson was about the influence of women in the church, how they help keep people's spirits strong, stuff like that. We had a new person to teach this month so we introduced ourselves, told a little bit about ourselves and then gave the lesson. We usually end with a prayer and then go after that. I am usually a little un-enthusiastic about visiting teaching still. I'm not used to social situations and I don't really feel like I am connecting with my companion very well either. I connect with some people better than others. On top of this I'm bad with lessons and as you know I have motivation, and confidence issues.
We actually met our third companion today, it's usually just 2 people that go teaching but for some reason we have 3 now. That is, there are 2 other people besides me. Before we went into the person's house, while we were waiting for the 3rd person to arrive we just reviewed the lesson. I had no idea what it was about before she picked me up or even that we were going visiting teaching. I guess it was okay, I wish I had been a little more prepared though.
Anyway, after I got home I started searching for alternative modes of transportation. Up until the time when I started typing this I had been doing that.
I don't think anything else is going to happen today, but if it does I will make sure to update. I was going to mind vent today but it looks like this is long enough, so I'll just do that tomorrow ha ha.
I will also make sure to post the pattern I am making with seamless Studio onto Xanga when I finish and color it.
