I Love Breadsticks

There is this really nice Italian place in the mall food court that makes amazing pizza, pasta, Stromboli, and bread sticks. They are pretty basic where their food choices are concerned, but it’s always worth it. Basically that is all they serve, spaghetti, Alfredo, pizza, Stromboli, bread sticks and drinks. They are great at stuffed pizza. It’s basically pizza crust stuffed with sauce, meat and cheese. That is what I had for lunch today along with the bread sticks which could easily beat Olive Garden’s into the ground. The place is called Villa Italian Kitchen. They are probably the only fast food place I know of that has Sobe Lifewater to drink. Not in a bottle, but from a drink machine. I love that stuff so much.

I had to go to school today to get sone documentation proving i saw the school psychologist yesterday. I really hope that all this stuff I’m doing will help me get the pell grant. I hate doing all this paper work, but hopefully in the end it’ll be worth it. I just have to prove that I won’t fail or drop out if any of my classes again. It’s been 3 years since I last had to withdraw with the help of the school psychologist. Man that was a good amount of stress I was under back then. I was dealing with my friend Ronnie who was recovering from a drug addiction and I had feelings for Ronnie at the time. He kept on trying to kick me out of his life over and over and then came back. He ended up cleaning up and got married eventually. I honestly still feel the after effects of him abandoning me several times. I really don’t blame him for pushing me away back then, he was going through so much. We are still good friends and haven’t had any hard times with each other so far as our friendship goes since he got together with Renee. those two are great for each other. I ginuinely believe they are soulmates.

Another thing I did was return that library book that I forgot I already owned a copy of. I got some French and English grammar books to help me with my upcoming French class. I had to ride the bus to the mall, to the library, then back to the mall and back to school again once the Student health services office had the document ready for me. I was exhausted earlier when I got home.. I chose to get a ride from Dad instead of ride the bus some more. I had dad pick me up from walmart. today was fun because i got to go to the library, but I can’t wait until alll this school stuff is done with. I just want to enjoy my classes. I don’t mind homework even though it’s hard sometimes.

I did get a bit of sun today when I was walking to the bus stops, but thankfully I didn’t get burned today. I took a nap earlier and have been watching the Olympics since I got home. It’s sad that the men’s gymnastics did so poorly tonight. I haven’t watched it yet because it’s on later tonight, but I saw some stuff on the news. Probably the last thing I did tonight before this was go to the store. Mom didn’t feel like cooking so we went and picked up some yogurt, apple juice and some sandwiches. I also had some fancy cheese that was in the fridge. Our local store has a lot of cool cheeses and I haven’t tried nearly as many as I want to. So I had sweet potatoes, a tuna sandwich, yogurt and cheese for dinner. Some of you might find that beyond weird, but it’s what I was stuck with tonight. I’m just grateful I wasn’t stuck eating a bowl of only sweet potatoes.

Anyway, I’ll post pictures of my books and stuff tomorrow. I’m so tired now I don’t feel like uploading photos right now. I’m glad I got to do stuff today.

Endless Photo organizing

So today and yesterday I have spent a good part of the day organizing photos and getting them ready for flickr upload. I have procrastinated this for a long time because I knew it would take forever. I just finally finished just a few minutes ago. Nothing much other than this happened yesterday or today. I did watch some minecraft videos today, and played some Tetris and stuff. I took a nap and just hung around the house and stuff like that.  I've been keeping a close eye on the Xanga fundraiser for the past few days, I really don't want it to close, that would suck for me majorly. 

My flickr page is HERE

We had baked potatoes with cheese and whatever else we wanted to put on them today for dinner. :)

The Highlight of the day was definitely this morning when out of nowhere Ronnie messaged me. he has been having a difficult time and we kind of fell apart for a while. I am glad he is talking to me again. A series of things happened and first he tried pushing me away and then I tried doing the same thing but gave up after a while. Honestly I really hate living my life without him. I hate the void I feel when I don't have him in my life. I'm really hoping he comes over here sometime this year or soon or whatever. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Oh, and almost forgot, I was taking a nap today and I had this dream I was in Cincinnati or somewhere where Ronnie was. I think my family was on vacation or something like that. I remember walking past some shops or something, kind of seemed like a really weird mall and I realized I was pretty close to him. I was nervous for a minutes and when I walked a little distance away across some street and went into this building where people were getting drinks and playing games I was actually trying to hid my face from him but he saw me. He was happy to see me, and invited me to join him and his friends. I'm not really sure why, probably because my parents were waiting, or because I saw something interesting or because I thought he was nearby still, but I wandered off exploring this place I was in. I was quite stressed when I couldn't find him and a little while later I knew I had to return to my family because I didn't say anything to them about what i was doing. For the rest of the dream I spent the whole time trying to get to him again, it was both exciting and scary at the same time. I met some really weird people including some mob boss that I almost upset. I got pretty close to finding him I think when I was woken up by my niece playing the piano. I was actually relieved when I woke up, because i hadn't really lost track of him in a busy city. haha. This just makes me want to see him even more. :)

Anyway, this is all for now I guess. I'm probably going to listen to some music, or watch some anime, or play minecraft or something.

End of the World

So today is supposedly the end of the world or something. I am LDS and we have different beliefs, but that doesn't mean I haven't had fun reading all the news and hype. It's been a lot of fun following all the craziness. I remember back on New Years Eve 1999 I really believed in the Y2K bug. I thought the world was going to end for real back then or something. I was 11 I think back then and was a little ignorant of this kind of stuff. I used to watch the news, and believe in a lot of crazy things like that. I look back on that and I can laugh a lot. 

Since it's past 11:11 now I guess we can all safely say it was a false alarm. I don't think anyone will be able to predict the end of the world. I think the end of the world will be unexpected. I believe in signs, but even with signs it will be up in the air just when it will happen. I believe that God will choose the right time. 

I have taken a liking to The Huffington Post as of late. I like reading their articles, even of them are ridiculous sometmes. I know it isn't the best news site, and a lot of the stuff I read I try not to take too seriously, but it can be fun, and I have other family members that use it as well. I have been following them on facebook for a while, but I never went to their website much. I like how they have a lot of different sections. There is usually at least one thing I am interested in reading. I think my favorite section is the good news section and the weird news section. I loved reading all their articles about the end of the world as well, some of them are really funny.
Today was Ronnie's birthday. I'm not sure what he did today though. I know he went to a concert, but that is pretty much it. I really hope he had a good day today, it is his birthday after all. He turned 28, he is almost 5 years older than me, but that doesn't matter to me in the slightest. I really hope his Christmas holiday in general turns out better than he thinks it will. I wish I could give him more than words, but we live so far away from each other.

We had our yearly ward church Christmas party. I fell asleep and ended up being thirty minutes late however. When I woke up I quickly got ready, got my jacket, and went upstairs. I wasn't worried about being late, but I would have liked to be on time. My dad apparently was at the store while I was asleep and came home with a LOT of groceries. We moved some of the groceries inside before he took me to the party. I don't think I would have been on time to the party even if I had woken up early because of the store trip. 

When I got to the party everyone was just sitting around in various places and talking. Since the party had started a half an hour earlier everyone had already gotten their food and sat down. They had various kinds of soup, and they also had chocolate cake and salad as well. I am not even sure what most of the soups were, but I know they had cream of broccoli, chicken noodle and chili. I had a bowl of the cream of broccoli, it wasn't quite as good as the one my mom makes, but it was still very good tasting. I also got some salad with ranch dressing and chocolate cake. I sat down at a table, but didn't really know anyone at it that much so I moved to an empty table because a lot of the tables were full. Some people at a table asked me if I wanted to join them. I knew a few at the table so I decided to come over there. We just talked an ate, I didn't talk a whole lot, just mostly listened, but I still had a good time at the table. 

After everyone ate they started to walk around the gym the party was in. Only half of the gym was occupied with tables, the other half had tables with candy, sprinkles, gram crackers, and other stuff for making gingerbread houses. The seats were occupied so I just looked at people's houses and snacked on some of the candy there. There was also a table for making ornaments, a table for writing letters to missionaries, and some other table, but I am not sure what that one was for. 


I didn't really feel like doing any of that stuff at the moment so i just watched and walked around and just observed in general. I know that is incredibly boring, but I am just this way sometimes. I was feeling a little jumpy and didn't want to hold still or sit down and do one thing so I just walked around and watched everything that was going on to satisfy my jumpyness. 

After the party was over and everything started to wind down, they let me bring home some of the pretzels (I just noticed I left them in the car as I type this). I just hung around helping with the cleanup a little for a while, and then I called my sister for a ride home. 

I had been playing games and stuff on my phone a lot while I was at the party, but for some reason near the end the 3G signal quit and I couldn't get online, it kind of sucked a little. I tried to get it back, I even went outside when the party was over while I was waiting for my ride, but for some reason the signal wasn't reaching my phone, it was weird. I gave up after a minute and just went back inside and waited. It didn't take long for my sister to get to the church where the party was held, I went back outside right before she got there. 

When I got home I just ate some chips, went back downstairs, and started watching The Lord of the Rings the Two Towers somewhere online. I am usually pretty good at finding stuff I want to watch, I can find almost anything.  I snacked on some of the chocolate I bought yesterday and on occasion went upstairs to see what everyone else was doing. I am just watching old cartoons on youtube and just hanging out. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to watch the third LoTR movie. 

Hobbits, Dwarves, and Elves

So I just got back from seeing the Hobbit. I have never read the book, so I had no idea what to expect at all. I remember seeing this really badly made cartoon version a long time ago, but I couldn't rely on that for any help, because it was so dreadfully inaccurate and modified. I was astounded and amazed by the current movie though. I loved every minute of it, and the slowness didn't bother me at all. I have no problem with movies or books that take their sweet time getting to the point. I am glad they didn't try to rush it and make it into just one movie because that wouldn't have made any sense. I think that once all the movies are out and go on DVD a lot of people will change their minds about the slowness. Too many movies that are made from books just rush it and don't get enough in there in my opinion. I think this approach that we have been taking with movies like Harry Potter #7, The Hobbit and some others is very smart. I have no problem with it being in parts at all.

I loved seeing familiar characters like Galadriel, Gandalf, and Elrond. I never get tired of those characters, especially Gandalf, he is so much fun. I wish there were more people like him in the real world. I also wish there were elves. I would have liked to be of the elven folk, that would have been nice. I am really fond of all the characters, including the dwarves, they are a lot of fun as well. I would have to say my favorite character is definitely Gandalf though, hands down. I still have to read the book, and intend to right after I am finished reading "The Hourglass" series.

It was so unbelievably freezing cold on the way back home, 16 degrees to be precise. I am glad I did not get a cold drink at the movies, that would have been horrible.   the previews were so long, I think they might have seemed longer because of the anticipation, but still, I think they were a bit much.

I am actually talking to Ronnie right now as I am typing this. He just had some crazy stuff going on in his life and that is why he was away for so long. I completely understand why he hasn't been around now. I am just really glad he is safe, he scares me sometimes. I think we both have crazy unpredictable lives. I never really doubted he would come back and I would see him again, I was just getting very nervous and some of my defenses started wanting to come up because of it. He is an awesome friend though, I know he would never abandon me without an extremely good reason. I was so happy to see that he messaged me when I was in the car on my way back from the movie, that made me extremely happy. I haven't gotten to talk to him this much in a while, I am enjoying it a lot. 

I didn't get much sleep last night, I was watching cartoons and I bought a domain name for my blogger blog and set up tabs to all the different profiles I have on various important sites I like. That is now my website and what I share with my friends and family. I would have done it with this blog, but this is pretty much a secret I keep from all my friends and my family. I think my gaming friends, and Ronnie are my only friends that know about this blog.

Today I found out that one of my favorite youtube channels had nearly all their videos taken down. They are a pretty big music channel, but not all their stuff was posted with permission. I know it's a little far fetched, but I hope they get their stuff back and I hope they will be able to stay on youtube. If they get their stuff back up I'll give you the link to the channel, it is awesome.  A few other channels I follow have had problems with copywrite stuff lately, it has been pretty sad to see some of them have their videos taken down.

My mom made checken, salad, carrots, and garlic potatoes for dinner, they were great. I love my parents cooking so much.  We ate right before the movie.

I managed to get in yet another 4 hour nap earlier, I am pretty shameless about them as long as they don't go over 4 hours. I usually try not to do them all the time because then it just messes up my ability to sleep at night.

I am fairly sure this is all, I might be wrong though. I'll edit if I remember anything worth typing about as usual. :)

Oh yeah, my website and other blog is www.liahna.com

Men Are Confusing!

Once again, I suggest you check this post out if you haven't already. I still don't feel like enough people have seen it. :)  CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
I have no clue what is going on, but Ronnie has not talked to me for 8 days now. His birthday is on Friday, and I think he might be busy, but it's kind of confusing me a little because he hasn't said anything to me. I am not going to get my hopes up for anything because our friendship is mostly internet based. I wish he would at least tell me a little bit of what is going on. I've done everything I can, I'll give it 4 more weeks of slack and if he hasn't talked to me by then I'm going to call a flat line. This will truly suck for me if it happens because he is the only close friend I have right now that I feel like I can be myself around and talk to about anything. Abandoned by another friend, just lovely. I'm not going to assume anything quite yet though, I still have faith that he has a reason, I mean he has been really good to me so far, so I have to give him some slack. I'll give it time.
Today has been a little more eventful. I spent most of the first few hours of my day fixing up my blogger blog. My blogger is www.liahna.com I figured now is probably the time to get it set up finally. I already had a lot of it taken care of, but some of the entries needed editing and stuff and I wanted to host some of the pictures as well somewhere else. I reverted all the posts to drafts and I now have all my current ones until back in August back up. I still have a long way to go, but I am having fun with it.
I decided to take a break after a couple of hours, it was around 1pm when I decided to grab my phone, lie down and watch this cartoon I like called "6teen". I think the show is hilarious and so random. I am sad they cancelled it, it was a great show. I fell aslep watching it and ended up sleeping for 4 hours. I guess I needed the sleep, but I still think it was a bit much. Maybe I should make a nap alarm, so I don;t over nap anymore. I am not sure about this yet though because I tend to have my best dreams when I nap. I'll have to think about it carefully.
I decided today is the day I start working on organizing my very messy picture folder on my computer. I am using my pro account on Flickr to aid me in this task because it is going to be tricky. I just made the decision to go pro on flickr today, because I like it and it will help me manage my photos easier. I am also going to try Shutterfly, and if I like it more than Flickr, well then I guess I'll move. I think I've let the picture situation on my computer get way out of hand. I am usually pretty organized when it comes to stuff on my computer, but I guess I haven't been as careful as I should have been.
My sister ordered some gluten free pizza from Pizza Hut. It was okay, not as good as some others I've tried, but it was satisfying at least. She also got some root beer with it. She was going to get 2 pizzas but they were pretty expensive, so she got a small one for Kayla and a medium for the rest of us.
Natalie and Kayla got into some drama again tonight, but it calmed down eventually. They are still young so I try not to make a big deal out of it and ignore their fights as much as I can. I'm sure they will grow up just fine. I remember I was kind of a brat at their age, and wasn't nice sometimes, even to my friends on occasion. I think I was maybe a litle more internally bratty though. I was always good about not getting into fights though. They are both getting close to the age range I understand the most. I'll be able to help them a lot in their teenage years, I just know it. I was a teenager not to far back, I know what it is like and all the trouble you have and the worries.
Anyway, so right now I'm just sipping on my Egyptian Licorice herbal tea, and reading blogs. This is like a nightly ritual for me now. Tea is a must have every morning and night, I can thank my English anscestors for that. haha.  I am probably going to get some new flavors soon. I don't think we have enough fruity flavors.
Oh yeah! I nearly forgot to mention this AGAIN. I decided a few months back that I really want to learn how to play the Cello. Ours has been broken for a while (broken G string), and we have been meaning to fix it for a while now. I am going to get it fixed soon and then I'm going to start lessons right after that. I love the Cello so much, I"m so excited to learn it. I want to wait until tomorrow to talk about this more, but just thought I would mention this right now.

The Kindness of Others

 

Yesterday when I was reading it dawned on me why I love to observe people so much. Observing is like watching a story unfold. Everyone is an unfinished book still being written. The more you watch them, but more of their story you get to see. I love books because it's like jumping into their life, listening to their thoughts, and BECOMING a part of their life. It's like observing on a whole different level and in a whole different way. I have never noticed this before consciously. I am quite aware of everything and everyone around me, I just love watching and listening to everyone's stories unfold before my eyes. My life can be exciting, but so can other people's too. Everyone's book is different, no one has the same story. Our lives have twists and turns, tragedy and triumph, balance and imbalance. At the same time we are both authors and co-authors. The way we write our lives can influence the story of another person, and if we mess up thankfully a lot of the time someone can help us fix our story. This is a very cool thing to think about, I've never thought about life this way until yesterday night, it makes life seem more interesting.

I shamelessly slept in today until 2:30 in the afternoon. As I was listening to music on my computer with my lights turned off trying to wake up I accidentally blew my nose too much and caused myself to get a nosebleed. It wasn't a bad one, it was bad enough to need toilet paper though, at least a little. Getting nosebleeds in the morning is one of my least favorite things. It is very rare for me to get a nosebleed at all, but when I do get them they usually drain my livelyness for a little bit. I was glad when it was gone, I just went back to what I was doing.

Last night I found myself looking at pictures of Darik and listening to music. One would argue that it doesn't make sense because I love Ronnie, but things aren't so black and white with me. When I feel uneasy, uncertain, unbalanced, and insecure I tend to latch onto Darik more. One would have to understand the complexity of my side of our relationship in order to understand why I latch onto him instead of Ronnie sometimes. When I feel threatened in any way for a very long time I used him as a shield to protect me. Darik and I have always had a sort of distant, but complicated relationship. The complicated part is pretty much on my end, but it's this complicated part that makes me feel like I can rely on him to protect my heart better than anyone (yes even Ronnie) except for God. He doesn't even have to do anything, just his existence, his heart, his mind, the way he is brings me comfort. Just knowing there is someone out there that is so wonderful, angelic even, just makes me feel safe. He is by no means perfect, but he doesn't need to be. My relationship with him might sound weird, but it's pretty much second nature to me now. I am used to feeling so attached to him while at the same time keeping my distance physically. I have to do this because I am so prone to being pulled in by him and if I let myself get to close I'll end up getting hurt. I know Darik isn't the one, so I play my cards carefully. I do love Darik, but it's different. I was looking at his pictures this morning too, gaining my sense of inner balance and comfort back. I have to do this sometimes when Ronnie and I don't get to talk very often. Ronnie can't yet offer me the kind of comfort that Darik does mainly because Darik lives closer, and I have known him longer. These two things are very important to me. I'll explain more when I do "The Twin Dilemma" Part 5 soon. 

I was minding my own business when my mom came into my room and said I got a package from StumbleUpon. If any of you aren't familiar with it I suggest you look it up. I have been using their website and stuff for a long time and recently I got to 7k likes on SU. I knew they were going to send me a T-shirt, but I wasn't expecting the other stuff. All the items in the picture above are what I got from them. The T-shirt underneath, 2 pens, stickers, 2 little buttons, 2 mug holders, a mug, ping pong balls, and some sunglasses. I was blown away by their kindness and the fact that they gave me all this cool stuff just for using their website. I do not regret using it now, they are such nice people and have always been so amazing. I don't think they do this for everyone, so I feel kind of special and it totally brightened up my day. I am not used to getting stuff in the mail, let alone gifts of any kind! The T-shirt is awesome and comfortable and fits well, and I am planning on using the mug soon for tea.

I got 3/4 of the way through the book I am reading. I have only been officially reading it since yesterday. The Hourglass series by Lisa Mangum is truly amazing and it pulls you in so much. Once again I found myself literally becoming one with the story, I felt like I was the main character and I was going through what she was going through. It's amazing just how into it I can get. That is the main reason I slept in so late, is because I was UP late. haha.

Today has been very calm and uneventful. I watched Aristocats and Pocahontas with my nieces while I was babysitting them earlier. I taught one of them a few yoga poses, we laughed and joked around and it was fun. My sister left out some of the snacks for us to eat while she was out with Ben (ex husband) Christmas shopping.

My sister made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner when she got home. She is a lot better at making them than I am. After we ate I read some more of my book, surfed some sites using SU, and also did some stuff on Pinterest.

It has felt like a Saturday today, on occasion through the day I would forget it is actually Thursday. I've been pretty relaxed, calm, and laid back today.  The snow has pretty much melted, but it was another cold day today. Nothing very dramatic happened today, it was quiet and peaceful. I was deep in thought about the past and about friends. I let my emotions stir and turn around inside my head without trying to stop them. During school it was a bit harder to have moments like these because I was so worried about homework and passing my classes.

I hope tomorrow will bring something interesting. I love twists.

EDIT: Oh yeah, since it's 12 days until Christmas here is something special I think you guys will like. All the indevidual days are below the main video. :)

12 Days of Christmas

Moving Like the Wind

       Someone once told me that every person has a red sting of fate. This string of fate starts at the heart and leads to the heart of the person they are fated to be with. I wonder where my red string of fate leads sometimes. I think I have figured it out, but life is so unpredictable that I have no idea what kind of road it is going to throw me onto sometimes. I have a feeling that someday soon my life is going to find itself on another crazy road, but I know I can make it just fine. I have always been a strong person even if it took me a while to figure this out. I have always thought of myself as a phoenix. I am always reborn from the ashes of defeat no matter what. Every time I rise from those mystical silver ashes I become stronger and stronger. I want to spread my wings with someone else someday. I believe everyone has a soul mate, it’s just some of us don’t know where to look sometimes.

My attachment to the sky has gotten even stronger as of late. This is probably because Ronnie loves the sky as much as I do. No matter where we might be, no matter how far, the same sky connects us. No one can take this sole fact away from us. He is the moon in the sky and I am the sea. When he is happy I am happy, and when he is sad I always feel like I have to do something in order to fix it. If I had the power I would do so much more for him than I have. If I knew how to live on my own I probably would have moved closer to where he is already. Apart from my family I don’t really have any strong attachment to very many people over here. I know someday I will get the chance to spread my wings, and when that day comes he will be the first person I fly to. I want the question answered, and I want to know if he is the one for sure. I hope fate will allow our strings of fate to cross someday. Knowing that he has been a lot happier lately has really made me feel a lot lighter. I hope he can hold onto his new found happiness and find the right path for himself.

I feel like I have been a lot more balanced today, both in body and in mind. I noticed it when I went to my yoga class at school for the last time today. We had a two hour class where we went through all the poses in the primary series. We did all the standing poses, the seating poses, and the closing sequence. It took us about an hour and 45 minutes to do everything. When I first came to the class at the beginning of the semester I couldn’t even touch my toes, but now I can put my hands underneath my feet now. I have gotten more fluid and focused and I have mastered the breath we use. I am nowhere near being perfect at the poses in the primary series, but I have improved a lot this semester. It was nice to be able to go through all the poses. We have never got all the way through because the class has always been too short. Usually the class is only an hour, so we have only gotten to do so much every day. I came out of class today feeling very relaxed and energetic. I am going to miss my class, but my teacher teaches at a studio somewhere near here, so I am probably going to get a membership at the studio he teaches at some time soon.

My morning was normal, I just hung out and did my usual, got dressed for yoga, listened to music, read a little, watched some anime. I had 3 tangerines for breakfast. You aren’t supposed to eat very much, if at all before yoga usually. I get carsick on a completely empty stomach though, so I had to eat at least that much. I have an incurable addiction to tangerines. I went an hour early to school and just walked around campus before yoga. I didn’t want to get thirsty during class, so I walked to the school store and bought a Sobe Lifewater. I walked to my yoga class right after this. I always like to be early for yoga so I can get a good spot. I put everything I brought except for my jacket and my purse outside the door of the classroom, grabbed a mat and went in. I carefully wiped off my mat with a Clorox wipe, wrapped my purse in my jacket, and then did some stretches and waited for class to start.

After class I was starving, so I decided to go out to eat. There is this place called “Rocking Robbie’s” on campus that I have taken a liking to. Today was only the second time I have gotten food there. I can’t believe what I have been missing by not eating there. Last time I went there last Friday it was the first time I went there. I had no idea what to expect, but the food sounded good. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich combo with a strawberry shake last time, and this time I ordered the crispy chicken combo but I didn’t get a shake this time.

They always take a few minutes to prepare your food and it always looks and tastes good. Their shakes are made fresh and have big slices of fruit in them, and they always taste great. I have been to a lot of fast food places, but this one is probably the best one I’ve been to so far. I am not very big on fast food, so this is really saying a lot.

Anyway, today was much like yesterday. My parents had another tabernacle choir rehearsal and I just chilled at home and watched anime and made the best of my time. I am going to have to pick up my book again later sometime, it is getting interesting. In high school I was pretty famous for always carrying a book with me. I love to read a lot, and I think I haven’t been reading nearly as much as I should lately. I have a nice long list of books that I need to read and I intend to finish it off.

I went upstairs today and my sister was watching Star Trek again, it is a pretty common thing here for me to go upstairs and find it on all the time. I grew up watching Star Trek, I am also a big fan of it. I have to admit I still need to watch the original one. I miss the days when Star Trek was on, it was always such a big thing for my family. We never seem to get bored of Star Trek.

I know one of these days I’m going to need to do something other than just sitting around and watching anime and reading, but for now it’s nice.

The Sandman

     I can’t believe it’s the last week of school already. My time has always flown by too fast. I think father time must be getting impatient. That or he knows my life is complicated so he tries to speed it up so I don’t get frustrated. I know if father time was real, we would get along just fine. I wonder how he and the sand man would get along, funny thought. In a way you could call God father time I guess. I believe in God, so I guess he can play the part better than anyone else could.

I’ve always pictured fictional characters inside my head, it’s a regular thing for me. If the sandman really existed I think he would live in some mysterious candle lit castle in the clouds. The castle would be made of dark glittering stone, and the towers would reach high and greet the stars. It would be on a hovering stand-alone island. The castle would be surrounded by trees and beautiful gardens and he would have his own servants and maids that took care of everything. The grounds would also have various statues in the form of different mythical and historical figures, and they would all be made of white marble. There would be a large mysterious room somewhere in the castle with lots of containers, pots, and other stuff you would find in a laboratory and a kitchen where he would make his mysterious sleeping sand. He would be quiet, but kind and calm and very mysterious like the whispering breeze.

My day has been pretty calm. As my radio alarm clock went off and I started coming back from the land of the dreamers Ronnie was the first thing I thought about before I opened my eyes. I’ve had other people that have had my waking thoughts throughout my life, but none of them ever gave me the amount of comfort that he does. He takes up so much of my heart now it’s terrifying, but yet exciting. Even if fate decides to be cruel and separate us for real I will probably love him for the rest of my life and will definitely never forget him. It’s strange, even though we have decided to not be in a serious relationship right now, just the fact that he cared enough to let go makes me love him even more. The fact that he was able to end it just proves how much he really cares about me and that gives me the best feeling In the world. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone that has ever cared about me like this before. Its amazing how much you can care about someone who is so far away from you. Just another piece of evidence that proves time and space have no effect on love if you want it to stay the way it is.

It’s been a long time since I have been able to put so much thought into one person like this. My thoughts were so lonely, as was my heart for the longest time. I am so glad I have found someone I can talk to about anything and feel close to. We understand each other so well it’s scary sometimes. I don’t regret even a second I have spent talking to him. He has earned a special place in my heart that no one is ever going to usurp. Thinking about him in the morning gives me a strange satisfaction and makes my day worth living so much more. Every day when I walk through the halls of the University, or go outside, or do anything I have a wish in the center of my heart that our paths will cross and our fates will inter twine someday. I will never deprive my heart of this hope, I will let it burn like a raging fire.

I feel lighter, everything about my life feels lighter now that I have him. We don’t need to be in a relationship to make me feel this way. I am like a breeze that silently moves from place to place. I feel free, natural, open and happy. Everything comes so naturally to me when we talk. I am pretty sure he feels the same way.

As I got out of bed and turned off my alarm clock everything went silent. I turned on my light and walked back over to my laptop that sits on its table beside my bed on the floor. I slowly opened it up and went through my usual morning business where I listen to music, and print off stuff for school if I need to. Today I listened to some music by Nana Mizuki and printed off my final essay for my Astronomy class. I didn’t have as much time to listen to music or do whatever then I usually do. English started an hour earlier, so I only had an hour of free time before I had to leave.

I walked upstairs slowly, my head still drowning in my waking thoughts and was greeted be the sight of a fluffy thin layer of white show on the ground outside. I like to think of snow as clouds that get bored, so they decide to fall from the sky and say hello and just repeat the cycle of falling from and returning to the sky. It’s a silly thought, but I have fun with it. I had Coco Krispies for breakfast and just sat there at the table gazing out at the snow while eating them.

I went back downstairs and made sure all my English assignments were in the folder I put them in so I could turn them in today. I found my jeans, and my black T-shirt with the faded Micky Mouse design on it and got dressed. I decided I wanted to leave my hair down today, but I didn’t want it to get stringy before I went to school so I kept it back in a headband until right before I left.

I got my stuff together and unplugged my phone from it’s charger. I had got the battery all the way down to 6% the night before. Sometimes I just don’t feel like sleeping, so I just stay up watching stuff on Netflix. I put my black boots on and pulled the bottom of my jeans over them and walked out to the car. We decided to take our new car today. It was freezing outside, I had my black jacket with the peacock design on and I wore my soft white fleece hat to keep my hair from getting wet. We got in the car, put our seat belts on and tried to start the car, but it wouldn’t start. We gave up after a few tries and decided to take the other car because I was going to be late if we didn’t. It was just lightly snowing the whole time we were driving. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the University campus, but for some reason today it felt much longer than that. I felt anxious and kind of impatient today for some reason and was glad to get out of the car when we got there. I quickly ran into the school and walked to class.

When I got to the classroom my teacher wasn’t there, but everyone else was. I was a little late, but it didn’t really matter because we weren’t really doing anything today anyway. We all just sat there and did our own thing waiting for the professor to come, but the clock just kept ticking by and she never showed up. A Japanese woman finally walked into the room after about 30 minutes and told us that she could not be here today for personal reasons. We all turned in our English portfolios to her instead and just started doing our own thing. We were supposed to be having a party today, so we brought food. We just hung out for the class period, talked and ate food.

People brought chips, soda, chocolates, popcorn, cookies, cake, salsa and some other stuff. We all had a good time just hanging out talking about random stuff and about our assignments that we had. We took photos before some of us started to leave. The class today was two hours long instead of one. I didn’t talk very much. I just listened to other people talk and ate. I said goodbye to everyone before I left, I only stayed half of the class period.

I walked along the hallways thinking about the snow and wondering what the weather was like where Ronnie lives. I always go into this weird dazed like state between classes where I just walk and think and don’t pay attention to the surroundings around me more than I need to. I am a daydreamer and sometimes I majorly zone out, it’s so like me to do that.

I walked to the school book store and bought the hourglass series by Lisa Mangum. I have wanted to read her series for a long time. There are three books, they are called The Hourglass Door, The Golden Spiral, and the Forgotten Locket. It cost me around $25 to buy all 3 at the same time. After I got done at the book store I walked to my Astronomy class, took out the first book, and began reading it in the hallway. I was 45 minutes early, so this is how I passed my time. I just read a few pages in, very carefully so I got the main feeling of the book. I have a feeling I am really going to enjoy this series a lot.

I thought my Astronomy final was today for some reason. I figured out that I was wrong when I saw a completely different class was going into the planetarium after I went in. I just sat there and tried to figure out when my final was, I was feeling confused right about then. I very quietly went up to the professor that was in the room and asked him where I should go to find out what day my final was on. I found out it’s not until Wednesday. I felt very relieved that I did not miss it.

I decided I was not ready to leave quite yet, so I just walked around campus and watched all the people as they walked by. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get something or fun even though I ate in English. After walking around for a while I decided that it would be a waste of money for me to eat on campus today. I saw a vending machine nearby though, and I decided that I could spend a dollar on a drink. I usually do not drink soda that often, but I figured I could make an exception today. I opened my cherry 7up and walked to the library. I am really glad I don’t have to stress about papers and other assignments for a while now. I sat down at my usual spot at the 1^st floor of the library, plugged my ear buds into my iPhone and started watching some documentary about Star Trek fans that caught my eye on my phone. It’s nice to have something I can pass the time with while I wait for my mom or sister to come and get me.  

I gazed out at the snow through the big windows in the library and just watched as the little flakes landed on the ground. I decided after a few minutes of watching the Star Trek documentary that I would wait until later to watch it. I just sat there and let myself fall deep into my daydreams while I was waiting.

My mom got to the school 30 minutes after I called her. I am not particularly picky about what time I am picked up. I got in the car and we drove home. The windshield wipers on our new car made a loud squeaking noise every time they slid across the glass, it got kind of annoying after a while. We didn’t really talk about anything while we were driving home, this is usually normal for us when we are in the car. I slightly dozed off and let myself drift between the waking world and the dream world. I felt so light, but yet heavy in a strange sort of way in that moment.

When we got home I kicked off my boots, and went downstairs back to my sanctuary. I watched anime and just hung out in my room for most of the rest of the day. I was feeling kind of moody today in the afternoon after I got home, not in a bad way though. I think I might have just been a little over stimulated. I get that way when I am around a lot of people sometimes. My mind just starts to race and my emotions come alive and they try to fly around everywhere, but I can usually keep them in control. I usually watch something dramatic, or listen to quiet music depending on how I feel. Today I watched an anime called “Nana”. Nana is one of my favorite anime of all time. It’s cute, dramatic, romantic, and it makes your head spin sometimes. It’s about music, love, life, it’s just plane amazing. I hope they continue the series where they left off someday, I won’t hold my breath though.

I was so glad I did not have anything else to do today that I did the thing I usually do when I don’t want to do anything, but don’t want to just sit in silence and stare at the wall or the ceiling. I like to just put on music and look at pictures of things or people I like, it’s very relaxing and it frees my mind a lot. I actually do this quite often when I am feeling stressed, and In the mornings when I need to recharge my inner battery. I look at different pictures, and listen to different music depending on what kind of mood I am in.

I crashed for a few hours after school, and slept like the dead. I had started watching the Star Trek documentary again, but started to fall asleep, so I turned it off again and ended up surrendering to the dream world once again.

My mom made minestrone for dinner tonight, she makes really super great minestrone, it really is the best soup ever. I say that about everything she cooks though honestly, it’s all amazing. Haha. It was really nice to wake up to her cooking after a nap. I was pretty hungry, I hadn’t eaten for probably 5 or so hours.

My sister and my nieces put the ornaments on the Christmas tree sometime after my parents left for tabernacle choir practice. I was busy doing my own thing in my own world, I didn’t pay all that much attention to them. I looked at the tree once or twice when they were doing it, but I was so glad to be finally over with all my school work for this semester that I just wanted to relax and keep to myself today.

I grabbed a couple handfuls of pistachios out of the bag on the counter and brought them downstairs with me one of the times I went upstairs to look at the tree. My family is pretty addicted to those things, we all love to eat them. It’s pretty insane how fast we go through them sometimes. I guess you could say we are all a bunch of nut heads. Haha.

Nothing other than this happened that is worth noting, not that I remember anyway. I stalked Ronnie’s profile on facebook for a few minutes earlier when I got bored, he always posts interesting stuff. I don’t think I’ve shared anything that interesting lately on mine, mainly due to school. I should get around to it sometime soon though. It’s usually so normal for me.

I Hate Wasps!

After my last entry was posted and we had hamburgers for dinner and lemon bars for dessert most of us went our ways and I went downstairs as usual to do my own thing. I was at the computer doing something, I think looking up youtube videos when out of nowhere this really big wasp just flies past me and freaks me out. I closed my laptop, turned out my light and went upstairs hoping it would be attracted to light and leave my room. I told my family about it and my brother went looking for it in my room. I kind of assumed it left because it wasn't flying around, or bugging me or anything. I always kept my eyes open the whole time before I went to bed though. I was so sure it was gone until I was watching Star Trek Voyager before bed and sure enough it starts bugging me. I think it might have been behind my bed or something because it didn't bother me until I was sitting on it. I just kind of ignored it for a while. I was just sitting there watching Voyager when I put my fingers down right on the spot where it just HAPPENED to be and right after I registered it was there I got a very sharp, painful prick on my middle finger.

I promptly freaked out and panicked. At first I wasn't sure it was the wasp at first, I have never been stung by a wasp before last night so I didn't know what it felt like. I was afraid it had been a spider or something because of how painful it was. I was so freaked out I turned on my light and started looking around for it. The little pest was still on my bed! I got it to fly off the bed and around the room for a while, about 2 or 3 minutes. I couldn't get it, and I was too freaked out to just sleep there anyway, so I grabbed one of my pink blankets from my closet and a pillow and moved out into the family room. I made sure it didn't follow me out and shut my door.

I set up and then lied down on the couch. I just lied there just thinking about what happened. I was pretty upset and was still in shock a little bit. It made my heart beat kind of fast, it was scary. Right then Ronnie just happened to send me a message, I missed him by one minute, but I sent him back one telling him what had happened. I was so relieved to see he said something I actually started to cry. I was pretty genuinely freaked out by what had happened and it was just perfect timing for him to say something. I was able to relax and calm down after I sent him a message.

I went to sleep after this, and slept pretty good.

In the morning just the usual stuff happened, got ready for school, ate breakfast (Cocoa Krispies), listened to a bit of music, and then went to school a bit early today because my sister had a doctor's appointment.

I was pretty worn out and slept through my institute class. In English we learned more about the classes we have to take in order to graduate, and we actually made a list and organized it and stuff, so now I have a whole list of the classes I need to take.

Today was a review in Yoga for a test we are taking on Thursday. I didn't have to wear my yoga clothes today, so I just walked around the school for a while before class. I lost track of time and was a couple minutes late for yoga, but it was fine because the instructor started late. We just talked about everything that is going to be on the test, I tried to take notes but gave up because he was going to fast for me. I just listened after this. 

After school I called my sister and she came and picked me up. We also picked up my mom. We went home after this and I just hung out for the rest of the day reading manga, doing stuff on twitter, and some other things that aren't worth mentioning. Oh, and I didn't see that wasp until after school, it was dead when we found it. I am so glad it's gone. I hope that is the last I see of any bugs in my room for a while.

I did watch the presidential debate for a little bit, but zoned out when I started reading my friends posts on facebook.

Anyway, so that is all for now. If I forgot to mention anything I will just add it later. :)

Mixed Feelings

Bleh, I have mixed feelings about today. It's been kind of crazy.

My day started off as pretty normal. I got up and washed my hair, got ready for school, the normal stuff. I actually had milk and peanut butter cookies for breakfast today though, that was different. I forgot to submit a short English assignment for my class, so I did that really quick before school. My sister had a doctor's appointment and she had to leave for a while. I played Destiny Online, listened to music, and submitted that assignment before she got back.

She didn't come back until 10 minutes before class was about to start, we had to hurry to the school. I was feeling kind of neutral abou this situation. I really wasn't that upset about it because my teacher really doesn't make a big deal about me being late. It couldn't be helped today. I was pretty quiet as usual in the car today, I usually do not talk very much when I am in the car. I like to think about stuff when I am moving around like that.  I kind of felt a little bad about having to be late, but it couldn't be helped, so I just tried to ignore this.

I got to my class 10 minutes late, I hurried as fast as I could all the way there and up the flights of stairs. I was pretty out of breath by the time I made it there and made sure I stopped by a drinking fountain right before because my mouth was dry.

The class itself, we just presented these lists, pretty easy lists to the class with our groups we have. We had a question (like ours was "Why is Fast food so popular?") we presented our list of reasons to the class and added details if we wanted. Other groups in class had other questions. It got pretty interesting.

I went to Astronomy afterward, and we talked about the different types of light, and what they effect and how they effect things and people and how they work as well. I accidentally got a little too comfortable for a little bit and almost fell asleep. My friend warned me that might happen haha. The class was really fun though, and interesting as always. We are taking a test in a week though, I'm kind of nervous for that.  I think I will do fine, because I love Astronomy, but I am still a little nervous, because it's a lot of info to take in. Sometimes I forget things. I am always kind of disappointed when class has to be over.

Anyway, today is Friday, so I had no fitness classes, so I was done after Astronomy.

I had a Fruit and nut bar for lunch and took some pictures (I"ll upload them in the morning). I decided I wanted to stay a big longer, so I found a good wifi spot, and watched an episode of Cake Boss. I like the atmosphere at school, so I usually end up staying a bit longer than I need to. I didn't call anyone until 40 minutes after my class had ended. Then it took my dad at least 25 minutes to get to the school and pick me up, so I wasn't home for a while.

I have just been listening to music, watching Cake Boss, playing Destiny online, surfing facebook, and just hanging around the house. After school I found out that one of my friends from Destiny Online was really mad at me for selling a pet he gave me on the game. I had no clue he was the one who gave me the pet, I thought it was just a random person, and so I didn't think about selling it. I felt bad afterwards and I have been trying to contact the person I sold it to to try and trade for a different pet, so I could get his back, but she hasn't answered. Something tells me she doesn't want to give it up and this has been a particular point of stress for me today. I know it is a game, but my friend was so mad at me and I really want to make things right. I once had a different pet on the game a long time ago and one of my other game friends sold that one when I was away, so I know how that feels. I was pretty attached to it as well. I know this sounds a bit silly, but my relationship with Destiny Online has always been unique compared to other games. Alll of us have always been close on the game, and have been through so much the 4 years it's been out. I have a ton of memories on there. I only started blogging on here 2 months before I joined the game. Some of my long disappearances from here have to do with me playing on there in the past. 

Anyway, so I had that to deal with, plus aunt flow decided to visit today **cough cough** , AND I got a really bad bloody nose earlier in the day. I always become kind of drained and a little moody after that happens. That mixed with the other thing made me feel kind of irritated today, and moody and stuff. I've been feeling weird. I guess that is expected though. Oh yeah, not to mention that I hadn't talked to Ronnie for almost 2 days, and this was making me go crazy as well. He is a really cool guy, another friend I met on DO, (If you didn't know that from my previous posts).  He only contacted me about an hour ago. I am so relieved to be talking to him again. I really have been feeling thrown around emotionally today, so I was honestly truly happy to talk to him again.

Anyway, I have pictures and stuff I am planning on adding tomorrow morning. I might add a few other thoughts and feelings too. I am pretty fried today, so I might have to add stuff tomorrow. :)

I'll wait to add the tags tomorrow to. :P

Passed Out

So I woke up around 9am. I got dressed, was kind of half asleep. I did not feel like getting up, but I did none the less. I opened my laptop and opened Pandora Radio, and played my Queen station. My sister made me a lunch for later, I had a protein shake for breakfast because I didn't feel like eating anything else for breakfast today. I took out the un-nessicary books that I would not need to carry out of my bag, except for my Astronomy book, I wasn't sure if I wanted to look that one over or not.  I talked to Ronnie a little before school, but not much.

I left for school around 10:20am. I was still feeling really tired about then. I got dropped off by my sister at the Institute of Religion building. There is a lot of construction going on over near where the building is, so it was pretty noisy. When I got into the building I had to look through the list of classes and choose a couple. I decided on the 11am Book of Mormon class, and the 12 noon Old testament class. Taking institute classes is pretty normal for people around here that are LDS, even some non LDS people take them. You don't really get credit for them, but they are usually pretty fun, have awesome teachers, and don't really have any work at all. You can just listen or whatever.

I have this tradition every first day and last day of Institute where I always buy a Red Cream Soda before class and drink it in my first class. The first time I did it it was kind of on a whim, but I decided to do it from then on. I don't usually drink that much soda, so it is that much better when I do. Red Cream Soda is my favorite carbonated drink.

Anyway, Both my classes went off pretty good, we were just introduced to the classes and the material we are going to be going over through the semester. We did some getting to know you stuff, had to fill out a few things, and other than that nothing really happened at my institute classes today. My teacher in the first class did tell some really good stories and was absolutely hilarious the whole time. I think I am going to have a lot of fun with my Institute classes.  We had name tags in my first one, I did my traditional thing and plastered stars all over it. haha.  I sent Ronnie a text  during my first class telling him when I would be available again, then went back to what I was doing.

I actually was supposed to go to a meeting with one of the councilors at the accessibility office around 11am, but totally forgot. Since I have pretty bad vision this is a regular thing every semester, they just make sure I have everything I need to be able to get through my classes okay. I only had to visit them probably like 4 times last semester. I am pretty independent and usually do not need help very often with my vision problems because I am so well adapted even without glasses or contacts.

I actually left half way through my 2nd institute class and made another appointment, and then came back to my 2nd Institute class after that.

After Institute I ate lunch. My sister packed me an Egg and cheese sandwich, a fruit cup, a nut bar, a juice box, and a V8. They were all pretty great. I was so full by the time I was done. I actually did a crazy thing and went ahead and bought a Sobe Lifewater after this, I have no idea why, I guess it is just a school habit.

I wandered around campus for a while, looking at the books in the bookstore, walking into the school store (the one that has the ice cream shop in it. I'll have to get pictures). and just looked around. I didn't do much besides eat lunch and wander around between classes. I actually went up to my Yoga classroom early because I had nothing better to do, and just played around with my phone for a bit taking pictures of stuff and playing games.

It was around 10 or 15 minutes later before everyone was there, the teacher arrived and we started things. I was kind of surprised by my teacher's appearance. I actually thought that it was going to be a Chinese guy because his name is Russ Lee.  I felt totally amused at myself after I saw that he looked like a blonde haired rock star. Long hair, cook beard, really in shape.  Not what I was expecting (I was expecting him to be in shape), but he is even more cool than what I expected. I can tell that I am going to have so much fun in Yoga. Today he just explained the details of the class since it was the first day of the class. We went over the syllabus and just got to know the different things we are going to get to do. He made it very clear that it is going to be hard, but I am fine with that. That is actually part of the reason I chose the class, the other ones being that I just love Yoga and wanted to learn it better, and because I thought it would help me be relaxed a little more and keep my mind off the stresses of my other classes. I took Pilates for these same reasons.

I took a picture of my school bag before my yoga class started.

Anyway, after my yoga class I went to go get my yoga textbook. The line this time was even longer than it was yesterday, and it was like a snake going all over the school bookstore. I was probably in line for like 20 minutes, seriously. I was glad to get it over with. I called my mom and she came and picked me up at the library after this.

We went to a local appliance and furniture store to look at new washers, ours is crazy and we need a new one because it doesn't even work properly. She was looking at washers and I just wandered around the store looking at everything else. They had tons of stuff, beds, desks, couches, living room sets, fridges, ovens, washers and dryers, you get the idea. Near the end of us being there I started watching "Beauty and the Beast" on one of their TV's. It just happened to be playing there.

When we were done there we went to a local mall and looked at some stuff like personal items, shoes, clothes, stuff like that. When we were looking at the shoes I found this really cute pair that I loved, but knew I probably shouldn't get because the heels were so high and it would kill my feet even though they looked so good. I think the heels must have been 4 inches tall. I felt a little crazy for liking them, but I just tried them on anyway and had fun walking around for like 2 minutes.  I took them off and put my regular shoes on after this. I didn't see any other shoes at the store we were at that I liked, not enough to try them on anyway.

We also looked for clothes for my yoga and Pilate's classes, but we didn't find any there that I liked.

We decided to go to the mall that is closer to our house. We went to Sports Authority and looked at all the different yoga pangs and shirts. I usually don't wear stuff that is really tight, but in Yoga and Pilates it is important that nothing can fall down or up. No one wants to show anything they don't want to show (like a shirt falling up if you are in one of the upside down poses), so we have to wear pretty form fitting clothing. I'm just glad I don't look too horrible in my spandex like pants and shirt. haha.

Anyway, after this we bough the stuff and went out for ice cream at a nearby ice cream shop.  I got a Mango Peach tart ice cream, swirled with a coconut ice cream. I put some extra coconut on it. My mom got a chocolate... something ice cream, don't remember what it was.  I really enjoyed my ice cream, it was fabulous. The coconut ice cream in it gave it an extra kick and made it taste even more awesome.

After this we went home. I logged onto Destiny Online after this.  I surfed the net for a while, checked xanga, and then passed out because I was so tired. I am actually typing this after midnight here, but I'll still go ahead and post it on the day I meant to. I am going back to sleep now, so I'll end here.  I actually typed part of this earlier before I fell asleep, but I couldn't finish it because I was practically sleep typing haha. I'm a little disappointed I did not get to talk to Ronnie more today.  I guess there is always tomorrow though. :)