Paintings that Will Never Be Painted.

so sad how some of us are cursed with no artistic talent when it comes to painting and drawing. I see the images but my brain just doesn't understand how to apply that to my hands, to actually create those images on canvas. 

I have tried so many times but my brain just doesn't get it at all. The images just come out looking like something a 2 year old would draw and that confuses me more. To literally not understand how to do something is so frustrating. 

I've always seen these beautiful images, these places, these people inside my head. I've never liked the fact that I can't share them with people, I cant share these colorful vibrant images with everyone. Something like that for me is torture. some of the simplest things seem hard for me and yet some of the more difficult things that people struggle with every day seem like picking up a piece of paper to me. Having bad vision really sucks.  

If I could I would just sit for hours at a canvas and express everything I see, hear, think of, in a painting or drawing. I would open the gates of my mind to everyone. Sadly that will never be. I am a victim of loss of depth perception, blurry vision and involuntary eye movement and a brain that has trouble understanding stuff. You have no idea how maddening it is for me. I feel like I've locked up in  a box and I'll never get out. 

I really hate being bottled up and chained to the wall. I'm hoping that I'll come to accomplish the one thing I've always wanted but never had through digital art. I'm hoping that this will be the thing that shatters the wall and opens up the gates. I've already started learning how to do digital art. I'm pretty good right now but I haven't done anything really that professional yet. I can't wait till I get my hands on Ultra Fractal and Photoshop. I might be having false hope but at least I have hope.