Children

A lot of us when we are young dream of getting married one day and having a family, having children, having a life. A lot of us dream of beautiful babies to love as our own.

Well not me unfortunately. I have never been able to dream of this because it is not possible for me to have children ever. Before I was born a piece of one of my chromosomes broke off and attached onto another one of my chromosomes, thus, my missing teeth, and a few other complications including the inability to have children.  If I did have a  baby it wold have a lot of things wrong with it. Possibly missing limbs, or organs or worse! So I can never dream of having children, I will never know the joy of giving birth.

You might say I could adopt. The thing is that I'm a little reluctant to do that because of how it turned out with my nieces. I never felt an attachment to them, even though I practically raised them they're still like strangers to me. I don't feel close to them at all and I'm worried that If I adopt a baby ten it will be the same, I won't be able to bond with it and I'll come to regret it. This is my main fear when it comes to adopting. In the end when I get married I might change my mind and things might work out but its a little weird. 

It hurts a lot, It has always hurt a lot to accept the fact that I can never have children. I pretend like I don't care but its like a knife in the heart every time I try to think about it. And what hurts more is when someone else brings up the subject of having children. I absolutely hate the phrase "When you have children" because that can not be applied to me at all. 

The only comfort I have is that I am not alone. I am just one of the thousands of possible people that can not have children but it still hurts a lot.

Do you know anyone that has been through this? Or are you one of those people? Does it hurt you a lot too?

DON'T GROW UP TO FAST!!

QUIT GROWING UP TO FAST!

I see all these little girls that are pressuring themselves to be "mature' and "adult like". Stop it please and enjoy your youth while you can!! If you don't do that then when you really become an adult you will be facing a lot more regret than you'll imagine. Your a  kid because your supposed to be one your not supposed to grow up. Get an imagination play some stupid kiddie flash games don't let you parents pressure you into growing up fast because its a bad idea. 

Quit wearing makeup it doesn't belong on your face before high school. Live as a young girl or boy be silly have fun get dirty play sports climb trees. 

Its not healthy for your mind or your body to try and take something you can't handle. you can't handle being an adult if your not an adult. 

Now that I'm almost a  full adult I find myself with no regret behind me. I almost made the mistake of trying to act older than I was. Before it was too later though luckily I realized just how important my youth was and i lived it to the fullest. I have absolutely no regrets now that I'm almost an adult. I can't wait to go out inot the world and show them what a women I've become. I'm sure I'll still get to do the fun and games like before but I'll be in college again and Ill have a job and I'll be able to be the grown up me without worrying that I wasted my life. 

Another thing for all those people that are in High School right now. When you get out you're going to wish you were back in and you're going to wish you had that time back. your going to wish you were younger and you hadn't rushed it so much. I did go through that stage. I have no regrets about my life outside of school but when it comes to school I have a lot of regrets. I wish I could do it al over again and try harder. So do your best and be the best person you can be

enjoy your life while you are still young.