Face Blindness

It’s been around 8 months since I got into kpop. It’s been really fun and kpop has helped me through a lot of my problems. It’s also helped me stay sane during this pandemic. One thing people might not know is that at the beginning it was really hard for me to tell any kpop idols apart.

Apparently I have a problem with face blindness sometimes when it comes to Asian people. I think it might happen with other people too, but I haven’t experienced  it much. I think it’s improved a lot, but back when I first got into kpop I had to put a lot of effort into being able to tell anyone apart. I have a photographic memory and I usually have an easy time with faces most of the time. I guess with certain people it’s harder though. I am legally blind, so I guess it makes sense for this problem to come up sometimes. I have enough vision that it isn’t a big problem thankfully.

This was the first time I’d ever noticed how bad it could get. Face blindness is super weird. I was aware that they all looked different, but at the same time they looked the same in a lot of ways, and my brain had a lot of trouble assigning identities to certain faces. Months later I’m amazed this used to happen. Everyone looks so different now and i can easily tell people apart. NCT / WayV were my first group. Most of my issues happened with them.

I have a nearly perfect memory for people, so it was kind of disorienting to go through this for a while. I mean, even if I don’t always visually memorize people, I always remember them in other ways. It wouldn’t have been a complete loss if I hadn’t gotten adapted. I still hate going through that kind of thing though. I don’t think it’ll be the last time it’ll happen, but hopefully it doesn’t happen a lot. I hope my brain adapts faster if it does happen again.

The K-Pop Rabbit Hole

Six months ago I got on Pandora Radio and decided to make a K-pop radio station. BTS had gotten my attention, but I wanted to know more about the genre. One day I was listening and a song called "Take Off" came on. I thought it sounded really interesting and so I decided to learn more. This song is by a group called WayV. WayV is actually the Chinese unit of another group called NCT. I began to learn more about WayV, and because they are related to and a part of NCT I learned about NCT as well and their members. This is how my decent into the deep rabbit hold of K-pop began.

Within two months my time was consumed by kpop. We were in full quarantine and I had quit my job not too long after, so I didn't have much to do. I learned the different vocab that K-pop stans use (fans) and I dove in. Focusing on kpop has given me something to do. At this point I have collected a physical album from WayV, and a physical album from Wonho who is my favorite soloist. My twitter has become mostly kpop related. My YouTube is also full of kpop related recommendations because I watch a lot of different videos from my favorite groups. It's probably safe to say I'm pretty deep into it at this point. Also, I feel like K-Pop has helped keep me sane these days.

I am a multi (a person who likes more than one group) but I limit myself to actually stanning (following) 5 closely. I listen to a lot of different artists, but WayV, NCT, and A.C.E are the only groups I closely stan. Wonho is my favorite soloist. So, I haven't quite filled in all 5 spots yet, but only stanning 3 groups and 1 solist now is what I'm happy with. A.C.E is my ult group (favorite group). I actually run a fan account now on Twitter as of the end of August. Byeongkwan is my bias (favorite member) of A.C.E. He is also overall my ult bias out of anyone. NCT is split into units, so I have favorite a bias for all the different units too. For NCT 127 it's Yuta, for NCT Dream it's Haechan, for NCT U it's Jeno (right now) and for WayV it's Xiaojun. Wonho used to be my ult bias, but I decided I like A.C.E more and more specifically Byeongkwan.

I also collect pictures of my top favorite members, but I only do that for Byeongkwan and Yuta mostly. I used to have a picture folder for Wonho and a few others, but I deleted them. I decided I didn't want to have too many picture collections. Byeongkwan is the only one who I seriously collect for. I have a ton of his pictures. They help me get through depressing days, so I have no regrets. My Yuta picture folder is pretty small, and I don't update often, but the pictures I do have are really cute.

So, I'm pretty deep into all of this. I plan on collecting more physical albums in the future and I am planning on collecting fan lights (light sticks) as well eventually. I really want to get A.C.E's light stick. I love how groups each have their own unique light stick, it's pretty cool. Eventually I want to go to a concert someday in person, but for now so far I've attended 2 online concerts. The first one I attended was for WayV back in May I think. I also saw Wonho's online concert last week. The next one I'm going to see is A.C.E's online concert on Saturday. I'm pretty excited for that one. Surprisingly enough, even though A.C.E is my favorite group I don't own any of their physical albums yet. I am still paying off my computer, so that is mainly why I haven't gotten to collect any yet. For me bills usually come first before K-pop stuff. That is probably for the best, even though I really wish I could splurge more on albums and other stuff.

Anyway, I am glad I finally got the motivations to write about this. It's been pretty boring lately, so I haven't had that much to write about. I will end this with a cool song cover A.C.E did a few days ago. I will most likely talk more about K-pop in the future. I have a lot to say, especially about Wonho. That is going to be an interesting story. I want to save it for another post.

 

 

The Flowers at Temple Square

Yesterday mom, dad and I went up to Salt Lake City to go see a Tabernacle Choir concert featuring Brian Stokes Mitchel and the Utah Symphony. It was part of the celebration of the 150th celebration of the Golden Spike. I don't know much about that to be honest.

Mom was in the concert, because she is in the choir, but dad and I had some free time and walked around the City Creek Center and ate some dinner. I went to kneader's and he went to Costa Vida which was nearby. I got a chicken pesto panini that came with Parmesan chips. I also got a fruit tart, which was amazing, and a little package of macarons, which to be honest didn't impress me much. They must have been cheap macarons. We didn't see very many shops, but we did get to look around the Microsoft store. That was a store I chose. I saw this huge $4000 surface screen that was 28 inches long. I'm pretty sure it is meant for art, architecture and other careers having to do with design. I've never seen one in person until yesterday, so it was cool finally getting to play around with that. It reminds me of a huge tablet. I can see why it is great for design.

I got to walk around Temple square a bit and take pictures of some of the flowers. I'd like to come back sometime and get even more pictures. My time was limited, so I couldn't get them all.

Here is a random picture I took when dad and I were walking around the Conference Center to pass time.

The concert was enjoyable. Dad and I gotin our seats and hour and a half early at 6:30pm because that is when they open the doors to the Conference Center. We were actually first in line at door 9. I fell asleep in my chair for a while after I sat down. It really si better to get seats earler, because you get better seats in your assigned section. Because of my nap I didn't have to waste much of my already low phone battery thankfully.

We got home around 10:30pm I think. It might have been later. I just played games for the rest of the night before I went to sleep.

Men Are Confusing!

Once again, I suggest you check this post out if you haven't already. I still don't feel like enough people have seen it. :)  CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
I have no clue what is going on, but Ronnie has not talked to me for 8 days now. His birthday is on Friday, and I think he might be busy, but it's kind of confusing me a little because he hasn't said anything to me. I am not going to get my hopes up for anything because our friendship is mostly internet based. I wish he would at least tell me a little bit of what is going on. I've done everything I can, I'll give it 4 more weeks of slack and if he hasn't talked to me by then I'm going to call a flat line. This will truly suck for me if it happens because he is the only close friend I have right now that I feel like I can be myself around and talk to about anything. Abandoned by another friend, just lovely. I'm not going to assume anything quite yet though, I still have faith that he has a reason, I mean he has been really good to me so far, so I have to give him some slack. I'll give it time.
Today has been a little more eventful. I spent most of the first few hours of my day fixing up my blogger blog. My blogger is www.liahna.com I figured now is probably the time to get it set up finally. I already had a lot of it taken care of, but some of the entries needed editing and stuff and I wanted to host some of the pictures as well somewhere else. I reverted all the posts to drafts and I now have all my current ones until back in August back up. I still have a long way to go, but I am having fun with it.
I decided to take a break after a couple of hours, it was around 1pm when I decided to grab my phone, lie down and watch this cartoon I like called "6teen". I think the show is hilarious and so random. I am sad they cancelled it, it was a great show. I fell aslep watching it and ended up sleeping for 4 hours. I guess I needed the sleep, but I still think it was a bit much. Maybe I should make a nap alarm, so I don;t over nap anymore. I am not sure about this yet though because I tend to have my best dreams when I nap. I'll have to think about it carefully.
I decided today is the day I start working on organizing my very messy picture folder on my computer. I am using my pro account on Flickr to aid me in this task because it is going to be tricky. I just made the decision to go pro on flickr today, because I like it and it will help me manage my photos easier. I am also going to try Shutterfly, and if I like it more than Flickr, well then I guess I'll move. I think I've let the picture situation on my computer get way out of hand. I am usually pretty organized when it comes to stuff on my computer, but I guess I haven't been as careful as I should have been.
My sister ordered some gluten free pizza from Pizza Hut. It was okay, not as good as some others I've tried, but it was satisfying at least. She also got some root beer with it. She was going to get 2 pizzas but they were pretty expensive, so she got a small one for Kayla and a medium for the rest of us.
Natalie and Kayla got into some drama again tonight, but it calmed down eventually. They are still young so I try not to make a big deal out of it and ignore their fights as much as I can. I'm sure they will grow up just fine. I remember I was kind of a brat at their age, and wasn't nice sometimes, even to my friends on occasion. I think I was maybe a litle more internally bratty though. I was always good about not getting into fights though. They are both getting close to the age range I understand the most. I'll be able to help them a lot in their teenage years, I just know it. I was a teenager not to far back, I know what it is like and all the trouble you have and the worries.
Anyway, so right now I'm just sipping on my Egyptian Licorice herbal tea, and reading blogs. This is like a nightly ritual for me now. Tea is a must have every morning and night, I can thank my English anscestors for that. haha.  I am probably going to get some new flavors soon. I don't think we have enough fruity flavors.
Oh yeah! I nearly forgot to mention this AGAIN. I decided a few months back that I really want to learn how to play the Cello. Ours has been broken for a while (broken G string), and we have been meaning to fix it for a while now. I am going to get it fixed soon and then I'm going to start lessons right after that. I love the Cello so much, I"m so excited to learn it. I want to wait until tomorrow to talk about this more, but just thought I would mention this right now.

Searching For New Music

Today has been all about music for me. A few days ago Pandora released the new version of their website to people that are Pandora One members / premium members. I am one of those people, I use Pandora a lot and I have been a premium member for almost 10 months now.

I really like the new website design, it is easy to navigate and makes use of the whole page. I have been spending a lot of time on Pandora today finding new music, surfing the website, visiting people's profiles, and looking up lyrics on Google. It has been pretty fun. I like to do this every once in a while. I pick out a day every few weeks or so and I just look up music, listen to CDs I haven't heard before, and find new bands to like. It's pretty fun really. 

I just thought I would share some of the music I like today for this post.

 [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmDDqRlhWH8]

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lgw8RkL-ik]  

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCnn7WEQIDI]

 

  [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xleo0Hpsxvg]

 

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouQNjgaBTPk]

 

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDTbPDbJQ44]

 

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFXlCWJSC9k]

 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzir1B43I3E]

System Overload

Yesterday was pretty fun, we decided to to the the fireworks at the end of the "Stadium of Fire". They always have really great fireworks. The "Stadium of Fire" is an annual 4th of July celebration we have here in Utah, it is usually held in BYU stadium here in Utah. They usually have some famous singer give a concert and there is different stuff that happens like dancers, and other things I don't remember, but it's really cool. The fireworks that they have in the finale are SO amazing, they shoot off a lot of them. There are a lot of people that just come over towards the end and sit on the grass with a blanket and just watch the end of the fireworks. You don't even have to be inside the stadium to see them, just sitting outside the stadium on the grass is enough. That is what we did.

We went to the stadium and put a blanket down on the grass somewhere where we could hear the concert pretty good as well (you can hear it from 5 blocks away so didn't matter really). We had gone to Costco earlier yesterday and bought Sun Chips, chocolate, water bottles, oranges, and a few other things. We brought some of the stuff with us to the Stadium just so we could have something to snack on. We had to park 3 or 4 blocks away because there was NO parking at all. There were a lot of streets blocked off and a lot of Police, and barriers and stuff because there were a lot of people that were in the same situation as us and had to walk a couple of blocks. I did not use my cane because I did not want all the people glancing and looking at me. It is already hard for an HSP Introvert like me to be around big crowds, the glances and stares would have just made it worse. I was fine without the cane and decided to try my glasses again. It worked fine, but not a lot. 

Anyway so we just sat there listening to Brad Pasley sing, he is pretty good. I liked this years selection better than last years. Last year they had Miley Cyrus singing at Stadium of Fire. I hate Miley Cyrus. I just played with my phone and ate snacks and watched my cute nephew playing around.  As you probably guessed I ended up breaking my diet again (I'm never going to try HCG in june again ha ha). It's not really possible for me to keep a diet at this time of the year I have found out **laugh**.

The fireworks came around after a while, they just started with a few at a time and just increased. I took video of some of the fireworks (I'll post it later).  Jax (my nephew) was a little scared by the loud noise, we had to cover his ears so he wouldn't freak out. He got used to it after a while and calmed down a little but still got startled and complained a little bit. He is only 10 months old so I don't think he has ever seen fireworks like this before.

When the finale came around we left right after the fireworks were done. There were thousands of people going to their cars afterward, we had to hurry. Being around a lot of people like that is very draining to me since I am an introvert down to a T.  I knew I would probably be out like a light when I got to the car because I find crowds and lots of social interaction draining. It was noisy, crowded, chaotic, absolutely insane. We kind of drifted along with the crowd that was going in the same direction as us, I tried to wear my glasses and it didn't really do anything so I took them off and it was actually better.  Right then was not a time to have my awareness dulled so it was a good thing I took them off. I get lost in crowds if I am not careful (like I said two posts ago). 

We eventually got to the car after about 20 or 25 minutes of maneuvering around crowds.  I felt so dead when we finally got to the car. When I sat down I could just feel the urge for sleep coming over me.  We managed to only get stuck in traffic for about 10 minutes which was a miracle since there were thousands of people trying to get out as well. Lucky for me we have lived here so long that we know how to avoid situations like that and get out of traffic fast. We took a different way home.  I was drifting in and out of sleep the whole way home, it came over me really fast. If you know the way and introvert's brain works you would completely understand why, even if you don't if you know what and introvert is you will know why I was so drained after that.  On top of this I am HSP (Highly sensitive person).  This makes it much harder.

By the time we got home it was around midnight. It took us probably 35 minutes to get home. I was so overloaded and every little thing was annoying to me. I wanted to just be alone and sleep, everything, even my bones felt tired. I used every bit of energy I had pretty much to be able to stand that huge crowd of people.  I went downstairs as soon as possible and went inside my room. I decided to wind down a bit and listen to some New Age Music to get more relaxed. I listed to music for about a half an hour and then went to sleep. I slept like the dead yesterday night.

I did not want to wake up in the morning. I think my radio was on for 30 minutes before my brain decided to respond to it. I took a shower yesterday evening so I wouldn't have to wake up earlier today and take one. I know how my brain works so I knew I would be fizzled out and I would need that extra hour and a half of sleep. I usually wake up at 7am on Sundays it but today I woke up at 8:30. I got ready for church, decided what I wanted to wear, did my hair and stuff and got my purse. I had an orange and a glass of milk right before I left, when my ride came. I was still pretty tired, not really recovered from yesterday.

We were a little late for church today but we made the sacrament portion of the meeting. I was semi- fine for the first hour of church and stayed awake pretty well even though I wanted to sleep. The 2nd hour though I fell asleep after just kind of bending over in my seat and letting my head droop. When I managed to get myself to at least be half awake I decided I should probably just go plug my ear buds in my ears and go sit out in the foyer and listen to the scriptures. I was pretty much asleep when I was doing this but even when I was sleeping I could still hear what it was saying.  There were a few times in the 3rd hour of church when I was sleeping out on the couch and listening to the scriptures on my iPhone that I went into this state where I was awareness where I was semi-aware of things going on around me and my body and stuff, not like sleep paralysis or anything like that, that is different but it was still weird. It was like I was asleep but became aware of that when I was sleeping, kind of like I was kind of awake but not really. I could still move a little bit. Then another time I actually had a mini dream that I woke up to late after church and everyone was gone. For some reason in that dream I was carrying 3 purses haha. That was super weird. 

i did not want to get off the couch, my brain knew it had to wake up again though and so it did and I felt SO drowsey, I was stumbling everywhere and if everyone didn't know better because we were at church and none of us drink they probably would have thought I was drunk or something. I really felt like I could fall asleep standing up. I found my ride and we left o go home. i could not wait to go home. The hot car kind of made me wake up a little bit but I was still pretty tired, wiped out from yesterday.  I didn't say anything to anyone in the car on the way home. None of them really tried to talk to me I told them I was feeling really wiped out.

When I got home I went straight downstairs, got on my casual clothes, and went back upstairs for a few minutes to eat something. My dad made waffles right before he and my mom went to church. I ate some waffles and drank some milk and went downstairs. I checked facebook and Destiny Online and a few other things and decided to turn off my computer because it would be completely silent. I turned off my computer and turned on Pandora Radio on my iPhone. I had it on the New Age Mix station. I climbed back into bed and was out like a light within 2 or 3 minutes. 

I had a few times during my 3 hour nap when I would kind of wake up a little and I would be aware of my body. My body felt heavy, I could tell it really wanted sleep, my brain could tell this too because I went right back into deep sleep after I realized this. The music and the mixture of silence really helped me a lot along with the extra sleep. I felt a lot better when I woke up. It's amazing what silence and quiet music can do for you along with sleep when you are an HSP Introvert like me.  I no longer felt like I would collapse any moment after I slept more.  I'm still a bit tired, but nothing sleeping later can't fix. I'm still not completel recovered but I think I will be by tomorrow. Tomorrow is my birthday, I am turning 22.

I just watched Star Trek Next Generation and ate a Sandwich after this. I also turned back on my computer and I have just been watching anime and stuff. I don't think anything else will happen tonight but if it does I will remember to update.

Flipping the Blocks

So yesterday was basically a Tetris marathon. I haven't done one of those for a long time. I do a tetris marathon every once in a while because it gets my brain going. Usually if I have a lot to think about or am worried about something I play tetris as well. It's a real stress reliever, and I think it even improves my reflexes. I've always loved playing Tetris. I started playing Tetris when I was 3 years old. My family would play Tetris on our old Windows 95 computer, that is how I started. I seem to get bored a lot with some other things but I never get tired of tetris.

I play on Tetris Friends. Surprisingly enough I did not know about this website for the longest time, I actually found out about the facebook application first and then discovered it after playing on that a few times. Tetris Friends is my main source for playing tetris now, they have so many different variations of tetris on the website it's a lot of fun.

I've been playing tetris for the most part all day today as well. I kind of slept in late, it was early afternoon when I woke up so I didn't get much done today. I just hung around the house for the most part. My sister and sister in law were down here in the basement for a while trying to figure out how they could re-arrange and / or clean up and make the basement look better. Our basement is a mess. I can't wait until we can make it actually look livable, right now it's just filled with computers, and various things strewn across tables and stuff it's pretty crazy. We also have a bathroom down here but we had to rip the wals out and stuff because it was getting mold and stuff. We still need to re-do the bathroom down here, we haven't gotten to it yet. Our whole house needs re-modeling really.

About a week ago I cut myself really bad shaving, I had to use 2 band-aids to coverup the cut, it bled for a while. I changed the band-aid twice already. I decided to just take it off today because it's scabbed over finally. Anyway, so I was taking it off and I discovered that part of the scab stuck to the band-aid so when I took it off I ripped part of the scab off. It hurt but surprisingly there was hardly any blood, I must have not pulled enough of the scab off for it to start bleeding again. I'm really glad I did not make myself bleed again because I really want it to heal as soon as possible. I was going to put on another band-aid, i thought about it but decided it's probably better for me to leave it off.

That is probably the most eventful thing I have gone through today.

I seem to start my day off with watching music a lot of the time. Most of the time when I get out of bed I start music right after. I noticed lately I like to look at pictures that depict how I feel or how I want to feel or stuff that symbolizes stuff I really love a lot. When I listen to music I look at pictures a lot, I never really noticed that until recently. I guess it just magnifies the effect of the music for me. When I have a lot of stuff to think about the pictures and / or music I look at and listen to often fit my mood. I find it really relaxing.

I've been listening to the Madoka Magica soundtrack today, it's one of my favorite anime and it has some pretty awesome music.

Anyway, I guess that is all for now. It's almost midnight and I'm kinda tired. :)

Music and Christmas Cheer!

So pretty much yesterday was awesome. Yesterday was a dress rehearsal for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert. David Archuleta is the guest singer for the next 3 days, he sounds like an angel!

Anyway, so my day began pretty normal yesterday. I did the usual, updating twitter, checking facebook, looking at pictures, listening to music. Stuff like that takes up a lot of my day usually. Around 30 minutes to noon I started getting ready for the concert. I washed my hair and stuff, got dressed, then I decided since I was sort of still tired and only got about 6 hours of sleep I would take a nap before the concert.

I took the nap with my towel still on it was a little weird but I slept for about 45 minutes before I took it off and then went back to sleep for another 30 minutes. My hair was still wet when I woke up but it was really funny because it was all over the place. It has a tendency to do that when it's wet and not brushed.  It was about 3pm by this time. I blow dried my hair and did my bangs, and got my jewelry together. it was about 3:30pm by then. I just sort of hung out while I was waiting for my dad to get back and got some other stuff together like my glasses and my monocular.

We left at about 4pm and drove up to Salt Lake. We stopped at subway on the way there and ate dinner. All 7 of us were packed into our 6 passenger car it was pretty cramped. I was listening to pandora radio on my phone the whole entire time we were driving, and snacking on roasted almonds.  My brother brought a date, she was pretty nice. The car drive wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My nieces were pretty noisy though, but not to noisy.

There was a lot of traffic, we got there at about 5:15 or 5:30 I think. The city was pretty busy that day, it took us forever to park. Lucky for us both my parents are in the choir and they have a place to park just for choir members. Otherwise it would have been harder for us to find parking... a lot harder.

So after we parked, we just made sure everything was in order and then we went our seperate ways. My mom and dad went to go get dressed for the concert and we went to get in line.

We were in line for about 45 minutes, during that time my little niece had to go to the bathroom and it was funny because she tried to hold it but couldn't. we eventually got her in to the building somehow with the help of some guards and she got to go. We were standing in line for  45 minutes or so like I said before. It was pretty cold, but I had a good coat on. I showed my brother's girlfriend some pictures of the guy I like (Sam), and talked about some of my other friends.  I also texted Darik a few times while I was waiting. He texted me back which made me really quite happy.

They opened the doors to the conference center at about 6:30 or 6:35. We were all pretty excited to go inside. They checked our purses, and our tickets and we went through the metal detector. After that we went inside and found our seats. I sent a picture to Darik when I was in my seat, he thought it was pretty cool, and he wished he could go. I wanted to give him tickets, but we didn't have any extras to my memory, I did ask my mom later though just in case but she said she didn't have any more. :(

The concert started at about 8pm it was so nice. David Archuleta sent chills up my spine with his angelic singing, and the choir too! Everything about it was magical. There were dancers and the lighting and stuff was so pretty!  We had pretty great seats as well on top of that.

My niece Kayla was a little noisy at first and a person behind us actually scolded her once for bothering them. I made it a point for the whole rest of the concert to not let that happen again and made sure she payed attention to what she was supposed to be paying attention to.  She was pretty good after a while. She is only 7 so we were a bit worried how she would behave, she was pretty good though.

I brought my glasses and my monocular so I could see better and wouldn't miss anything.

The concert lasted about an hour and a half, after t was finished we just sat in our seats and waited for the choir members to leave, then we went to find the car.

We encountered a bit of trouble with that though and decided to just wait until my dad found us in the parking so he could help us find the car. My mom came too after a few minutes and we went to the car after that.

We weren't stuck in traffic as long as I thought we would be. We actually got out fairly quickly.

We just drove home and talked about family stuff, memories and some other things.  I was just listening to music the whole entire time again. I was really worn out by the time I got home. Crowds really tire me out sometimes.

I just go on the computer and watched anime for a while and then went to bed after that.

It was a pretty fun day yesterday! :)

cooking and...

I really need to learn how to cook. I can never thin of anything to eat, I know that this is the reason. I never really learned how to cook. I’m convinced that when I do this problem will disappear. I suppose I’ve been afraid of cooking a little bit because of my vision, and because you can get burned and a good number of other situations could arise. I honestly think I could do it though. If I can cook stuff from a can or box, or follow directions for a cake I should be able to do the other stuff as well. Plus I have good patience.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.  I never really got a chance to learn how to cook because my mom and dad were always working and my other family members were busy with stuff as well.  I suppose I could have taught myself but I don’t think I could have gotten very far on my won that way.

Another strange thing is that my mom was a piano teacher for years but yet I do not know how to play the piano. I sort of regret not learning now. I have so many songs that go through my head that I can’t get out because I can’t write music and I don’t play any intstrument. i always doubted myself when I was younger if i would be able to play the piano. I know it would be hard but I think I could do it now for sure. My mom had to get a job and quit her piano teaching. So when I decided I would probably like to learn how to play the piano my chance was gone. I think she might be able to quit soon in a few months though so i should get another chance. I really want to share my music with the world. 

Anyway, I guess that’s all for now. :)

Nothing much has happened today so no need to write about today. I’ve just been chilling out at home watching videos. Hope something exciting will happen tomorrow though. :)

Raining a lot

It’s raining today, I’m not surprised though. It has been raining a lot lately. I’ve been just doing stuff at home. I made some new stuff on ColourLovers.com, and surfed some stuff with the stumbleupon toolbar. I made sure it was colorful stuff to compensate for now dull the rain makes me feel. I don’t mind rain in the summer when it’s hot but the hot weather has not come yet. It is still a bit cold when it rains currently. Cold and rain = depressing, so i drown myself in colorful things when it is like this.

I tend to like to listen to fast paced music as well when it is like this. Listening to the J-pop station on AOL radio. it plays some pretty good stuff.

My dad is doing something with chicken, i have no idea what though.

I Feel the music

 (EDIT: 2014 - Inserted picture is from an anime called "K-ON")

I've always felt the music. Ever since I was a baby it has always penetrated my heart and soul, wrapped me in its chains and never let me go for any reason. Music is a part of me, it pierces me like a knife, it gives me the chills like the wind, it drenches me like the rain, and burns me like fire. 

It resounds in my head, a never ending symphony of eternal music. I can't stop it I can't control it, I don't even want to control it, I let it control me without complaints. Its always there, the music is always there inside my head, singing to me, dancing for me, moving for me. 

There is but one love I have that I love equally if not stronger and that fuels me to love the music even more. My beautiful gift for writing, it also has its beautiful chains wrapped around me. I breathe for both, I live for both, I'll die loving them both. I want to share this gift with the world, sadly I do not play any instruments yet. That is the one mistake that I should have not made. The only one time I have betrayed music, the only time I have waisted it. 

I hoe some day I can weave my two gifts together and open people's hearts with my songs. When I do manage to entwine them successfully they pierce other people's hearts as well. My heart, my soul, my love is what makes those words so strong and unbreakable, what makes me so unbreakable, I'm only unbreakable when those two gifts work together. 

If music embraces you or one of your children don't try and push it away it will take care of them like hardly any person will on this earth, ti will shape their minds to be strong if you lt it grow, it will flower in their minds and open their imaginations. Don't keep it in a box, don't treat it like trash, don't treat it like something everyone can have. Not everyone can fell and appreciate the music, not everyone can see it's true beauty.

American music sucks!

I've been listening to American music my whole life (I live in America duh)
anyway so I've found more and more it sounds the same. None of the songs on the radio these days really have any individuality in the, the lyrics have the same meaning, the same sound the same instruments. Its so boring to an extent that I've lost interest in American music all together almost. I do listen to Yellowcard, sting, Coldplay, and some oldies that really stand out to me. I've noticed as the years have progressed the music in the US has become less and less individual. 

One you've heard one you've heard them all. Rock music is the worst when it comes to them all. They are all telling you the same things and the music sounds the same. Its almost like the music industry is doing it on purpose.  

I've found much more enjoyment and individuality in foreign music these days like Nami Tamaki, and Mizuki Nana, and some others, the lyrics strike me as creative and the sounds and rhythms of the music are so unique it just makes me all jumpy inside and happy. I get chills whenever I listen. 

Of course I know that there are people out there who probably can't see and hear the same things I see and hear in music so I'm bound to have some opposing opinions on this.