Too Much Freetime...

Yeah so I have way to much free time. No one should have as much free time as i do lately. Ever since I got out of college in spring of 2008 things have been at a stand still for me. I am stranded until I can get a job and get a laptop to go back to school. Trouble is that I can't get a job because i have no transportation, and there aren't any places near here that don't make you work on Sunday which i really would rather avoid. My parents were the ones that gave me transportation before but they can't do that right now. So basically I have been cursed with a crazy amount of free time and I have no clue what to do with it most of the time. I just spend hours on the internet trying to learn and discover whatever I can get my hands on.

I don't really have any friends I hang out with, and its too cold to go outside. And no one goes outside here, hardly anyone. People just stay cooped up in their houses playing video games and stuff like that. So Its a little creepy to go outside on my own, even if it is safe. And I have this crazy fear of dogs, and I'm sort of afraid of wide open spaces. I'm the exact opposite of claustrophobic. So basically that option is ruled out for me. I am trapped with nowhere to go. I would go crazy if I didn't have the internet to keep me sane.  I need my daily dose of communication with the rest of the world. 

I wish I had more to do, maybe I should try and became super flexible. this can't be healthy for me. I really hate being trapped like this with to much time. I know a lot of people would love to have this much time but not me, I like ti stay productive and active as much as I can. i love school, I love to do things but that is just not possible right now. This is really frustrating.

Addiction.

Addiction, and getting into things has never really happened to me often. I think sometimes that something went  wrong (or right) before I was born.  Its always been really easy for me to just walk away from stuff. 

I came close when I started playing Destiny Online but my mind intervened again. My mind seems to intervene with logic and explanations every time I'm about to become addicted to something. I seem to be able to think my way around anything. I think my logic is my best friend really.  When I'm about to get addicted or really into something that wont really do me any good or benefit me negatively or nothing at all its like this switch turns on that tells me "Its time to get bored of this.", or "Okay time to go to something else."  you wouldn't believe how much that comes in handy.

Websites, games, even TV shows never really have gotten to me very much.  I guess I'm kind of a "Do this a few times than move onto something else and maybe go to that later again." kind of girl.