Mullet Evasion

The better part of my day I spent sleeping in and eating carrots with ranch dressing, along with a cheese quesadilla. While I ate this for breakfast I listened to more of the Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality fan fiction.


Nothing more than this was going on until around 4 when I left for the mall. I explored the stores for a couple of hours and even allowed myself to get a gumball, skittles and Runts candy out of the candy machine. I usually get some sort of treat from somewhere when I get my hair cut. Whether it is before or after is kind of random, I just happened to have some quarters in my wallet and decided to do something with them.

Around 6pm I headed to Regis salon and Brenna cut my hair. It has been 3 months since I got my hair cut, and it was approaching mullet stage in the back. This is definite one of the downsides to being poor. I wanted to go last month, but I just didn’t have enough money. I’m quite relieved to have my hair cut now, Brenna always does a great job every time I get my hair cut. Right now I’m trying to transition from a pixie cut to a chin bob with side bangs. I’m glad that I’ve been experimenting with different hairstyles.

After I got my hair cut, I went to subway and got a chicken bacon ranch melt with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and a raspberry cheesecake cookie, I then went to Pretzel Maker and got a cuppucino smoothie, sat down somewhere and ate.

After I was finished, I looked around Charming Charlie’s for a while until mom and dad picked me up. For the rest of the night I just caught up on the Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality podcast. I am officially caught up, but don’t plan on reading ahead to see what happens.

I am officially broke for the rest of the month now. I’m kind of used to it by now though.

Root Beer Floats

Today was just not a peanut butter and banana sandwich kind of day. I did have a piece of bread with peanut butter on it, a couple of tangerines, and a glass of milk however.

So this was the start of my day, I got everything into my new denim bag and after I ate I left and I was in a good mood as I should have been. I rode the bus to the mall and then went to the gym. I did an hour of cardio on the bike and stair machine and then headed off to institute. First I headed to the Universities ice cream store, got a small package of Planters cashews, and $10 cash. I went to the institute building and got myself a new lunch punch card. The cards are good for six lunches, and they happen every Thursday. Today was Arby’s roast beef sandwiches, salad and some kind of sugary treat. The last two are just guesses because I’ve decided that getting today’s lunch would have been a huge waste of calories.

I headed to class and we talked about the invasion of Jerusalem from Babylon. It was really interesting. I was a little bummed on Tuesday when I had to miss my New Testament class, but this made up for that. After class I got a chef salad at a cafe at the university library. The salad had lettuce, grape tomatoes, carrot shavings, Ham slices, turkey slices, cheddar cheese and ranch dressing. It was worth the $4:50 or so I spent. Sadly I forgot to take a picture.
I headed to the mall after this and went to Starbuvks. I got a tiramisu frappuccino that was sugar free. It was fantastic and worth the money on my rewards card.
After looking around Claire’s in the mall for any good clearance items. I ended up leaving the mall empty handed though.

I went to the store on the way home and thought about getting lotion, or soup, or bread, or something else. I ended up getting what I actually NEEDED, which was some Bolthouse Classic Ranch dressing. Right before I went through the checkout line I noticed that some people representing the special Olympics (local) were selling 2 dollar root beer floats. I got my ranch dressing and got $2 dollars cash and went and bought a root beer float. I broke my no sugar rule for a good reason and I will never regret it. I left the store after that, but quickly returned to take some pictures!

I went straight home after this. We had pizza tonight and I’ve been listening to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. I’ve been editing my blog, fixing all the images and I’m glad I decided to do this because it wasn’t even nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, nor did it take more than a few hours. I’m going to edit spelling, grammar, videos and other stuff now.

The last thing that I have to say tonight that I forgot to add to yesterday’s blog post is that I did make a trip to the store and bought some stuff I needed. Shave cream, razor refills, and deodorant. Believe it or not just those 3 items cost me $3. It was amazing and a little annoying having to lose so much money just from 3 items, but it was the price I had to pay for not cutting myself every time I have to shave. Every time I’ve used a cheap razor that was always my fate, and I got tired of bleeding.

Fading

I hardly think that I have Alzheimers, that would be just stupid and irrational to believe that. One of the reasons why I blog though is that I have a tendency to forget things that I did even a couple days before sometimes. I retain the things I learn from those experiences, the feelings, the wisdom, whatever, but not always the experiences themselves, like what I was doing. I’ll remember what I was thinking sometimes, but I have trouble recalling memories of events sometimes. They aren’t truly gone I think, I just have trouble recalling them from whatever they go. I have a nearly perfect memory for people, so this is what I sometimes use to retrieve memories. I have been making sure to take pictures lately with my phone just in case I get lazy when it comes to blogging again as well. When that happens I rely on the sometimes little evidences I have to retrieve those memories from wherever they go. Just one right trigger can bring back everything and I can write a blog post in a way that makes it look like it was always there where it should be in the first place.

I suppose these troubles I have are what keep me focused on telling what happened during my day and usually not so much about what I was feeling lately. I can get impatient when I write sometimes, so I always make sure I write down the most important things, and leave the rest for later, or don’t bother to write them down at all. I’m always careful not to pressure myself to write, or I lose motivation and get irritated and can’t think or recall memories properly. Once I write down what is important, I am perfectly open to other creativity. I guess the reason why I haven’t been writing about other interesting stuff besides what I’ve been doing is mostly because of procrastination. I always say I’ll do it later, that I’ll talk about or show something different than what I’ve been doing lately. The thing is that somewhere I have to stop, and I have seen that lately. If I have an opportunity to write or share something really interesting I should just do it, or I’ll be forever without more followers and people to share experiences.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and watch and write about every prior experience I’ve ever had before when I was 18 and started to blog seriously. I have had lots of interesting experiences. While I will still be able to share some of them on here in the future, it still pales in comparison to what I wish I was capable of. When I got my first journal when I was 8 years old I should have used it instead of ignoring it and keeping in in some dark dusty place for years.

I guess I’ll just have to learn from my mistakes and never let it happen again if I can help it. I won’t let knowledge of my life fade away under the clutching grasp of laziness or procrastination anymore.
 ----------------------------------------------------

I've decided that making a wordpress blog is futile and stupid because apparently most of my images that work on here and are linked from my xanga blog that I used to blog on don't work because my Xanga doesn't exist anymore. Why they work on here, but not on blogger totally beats me. I realized that it is futile to ever want a wordpress after this because I'd have to go through most of my posts and insert the images again and do other editing, and that would just drive me mad. As of now this will be my one and only blog again, though that was a great idea originally. Let us just forget this ever happened.

Clean Teeth!

I'm always nervous when I go to the dentist just because I have had issues with my teeth in the past. I have a genetic condition that makes it so I have no permanent teeth on top. Some of my teeth I never had in the first place, like the 2 front ones that were fused together with the ones right next to them on either side when I was developing. I don't even have my 4 front teeth anymore and I'm missing 2 others, one on each side two teeth over. I never thought I'd admit this on my blog ever, but I do wear a prosthetic with fake teeth. I think I'm more accepting of this now than I used to be. I do want to get implants someday, but that won't be for a long time.

Anyway, so I also have weaker enamel and I've had cavities, I've had teeth pulled, and I've always felt self conscious about my issues, though it seems to be fading with time. Luckily I had nothing wrong today, or the last time I was there. Dr. Perry really is the best dentist and I've been seeing him for my whole life. For my orthodontics I go to Dr. Graf, who is also awesome on many levels. I have been seeing him for 12 years now. He actually did most of my work for free, like my braces and prosthetic. I do have to pay when I break it rarely, but it's not very much.

I had a snap from snapchat of my x-Rays, but it has seemed to have disappeared suddenly for some reason. This is disappointing, because I really wanted to show it. Oh well, I'll show you in September I guess... For now at least I can show you this much.

Laura was the one who took me today. I had a couple oranges for breakfast and brushed my teeth. We left around 10:39 because it has snowed quite a lot today and she likes to drive carefully. I thought my appointment was at 11:00, but it was at 11:45. We went to Target and got Starbucks and Pizza Hut to pass the time. Around 11:30 we left again. I got chicken Alfredo pasta.

After my appointment we just went straight home and I started listening to more of the Harry Potter fanfiction "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality". Mom also came home for lunch and I ate a little Costco chicken.

Laura, Kayla, and I went to go pick Natalie up from school. The car had been leaking oil for a while and Laura decided to go get it checked. Seems we need something called a gasket intake valve I think. We need a new one, but the guy that checked said it wouldn't be a problem if we waited. We decided to wait to see what mom and dad would say and went to Macey's grocery store instead.

We got ice cream and frozen yogurt. Laura got a chicken salad crossant. I was going to get one too, but ended up just sticking with my banana frozen yogurt. I walked around after I was done and inspected all the bakery items, mostly dessert items like cookies, brownies, cupcakes and other stuff. There was bread and stuff too, but I didn't look at it very much. After Laura was finished with her vanilla, Kayla with her chocolate and Natalie with her strawberry we went and bought steak, rolls and I think one other thing that I forgot. The cashiers were super slow though and we moved 3 separate times trying to get a faster line. Laura was kind of irritated when she was done. Natalie and Kayla had been just fine, having fun looking at all the gum and candy around.

When we got home I got onto Wordpress and made a new blog. I imported everything from blogger to Wordpress and chose my design, though it took a while. I want to start blogging on Wordpress again, and today just seems like the perfect day to start. I'll still have my blogger blog as my primary blog though. I doubt Wordpress will ever completely replace my main blog, it just isn't likely.

Anyway, so for dinner we had steak, garlic potatoes. Salad, and broccoli.



Nothing of importance happened the rest of the night pretty much.

Darik & Dylan - (Part 4)

Even at age 14 I think a large part of me knew that letting myself fall for Dylan was a bad idea. I think I understand why now that I am older and wiser. All the doubts and fears aside, I already talked about that in a previous part. There was another side of me that withdrew from Dylan somewhat. This side is the side that would have loved Dylan if I hadn't locked it away forever never to be seen except for a few glimpses now and then of it in my dreams. I guess you could say that as long as I am aware that he isn't married that very thin thread will continue to hold on. That prospect of [what if] will always keep that part of me that could have loved him alive as long as I'm consciously aware of these things.

I don't dream about Dylan very much, but when I do that is the only time when that wall disappears at least somewhat. The wall between me and what could have been my feelings reveals a deep and strong love. I still can't believe that I am admitting that I even have a little bit of this side left to me. My dreams don't lie though and I know I'm not imagining it. Usually when I dream about someone I don't interact with them closely a lot, but for me and Dylan we are always actually doing stuff together. I have always felt really intrigued by this part of my dreams because that is something that is unique to him. My love for Dylan under the right circumstances could have gotten even stronger than the feelings I had for Darik I think. Dylan is pretty close to my ideal kind of guy I want to be with forever and I think this is the primary reason why I never felt good about allowing myself to love him without restraint. It would have been really difficult if I had let my feelings grow and become more. I simply don't have the kind of restraint with Dylan that I have with Darik. Darik to me was always solidly off the market to me. While I've always believed that they both deserved someone better than me my heart has a tendency to be a little more forceful and territorial with Dylan.

I used to have these insane bouts of jealousy that would get so bad when I was a teenager. I hated sharing Dylan with other girls and that was the 3rd thing that made me want to forcefully detach my heart from him. I'm glad that the fact that I care about him a lot overcame the big green monster that was inside of me.

I sometimes get a little frustrated with my dreams because for a small few hours to a day the door to my heart opens when I dream about him. It's nothing like my feelings for Darik were, but it's enough to make me feel conflicted sometimes. I think of my dreams and my conscious self that is awake as two warring sides sometimes. My dreams clearly contradict what I think when I am awake. I'll never let my sub conscious feelings that hang by a thread overcome my need to not fall for him though. I don't think I'd end up very happy if I let myself go full force like I did with Darik. I don't think my heart would have as easy of a time letting go and morphing into a good position like they did with Darik.

I am thankful for whatever sub conscious wisdom I had in Junior High that I am now aware of. God works in mysterious ways and I believe that I dodged a bullet here.

Anyway, I'll talk more about these two later. :)

Bus schedules and. Church Doodles

On Saturday I went on a journey to return the package of underwear that I mistakenly bought. I ate some sourdough bread and butter, and waited until it was close enough to the time the bus was going to come. I grabbed my new bag and packed it with my wallet, phone, monocular, ear buds, gym clothes and other stuff I thought I might need and I headed to the bus stop. After I got to the mall I walked around the mall until the bus I was waiting for came.

Well, actually it didn't. There are two 830 busses. One that goes to BYU that is on the south side of the Transit center, and one that is on the north. I was waiting for the 2nd one. I was confused because the bus never came. I headed back to the mall and waited and looked around more. I tried again and nearly decided to get back on the bus I came on and go that way, because it also eventually ends up at UVU. I changed my mind and got off. I looked at the bus schedule and waited again. Once again the wrong 830 came and I was feeling annoyed. I couldn't go home either because that bus had just left. I just stood there staring at and studying the bus schedule trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Maybe the schedule was wrong and there was no 830 bus that went to UVU on the weekends? I had half a mind to just call mom and see when she would be off work, which I finally decided to do. She didn't end up answering and I just left a text.

Out of nowhere another 830 comes, though I wasn't about to get my hopes up. It was the bus I was looking for though! I quickly got on and rode it to UVU. I then walked the short distance to Walmart. I then noted that the bus I was looking for simply wasn't on the schedule and remembered that for the next time I needed it. It was lightly snowing and I was looking forward to being in the store.

I wanted to look for more button pins, I forgot to mention that at Hot Topic earlier I did see some pins, but none of them interested me very much. Anyway, so I searched the whole store and couldn't find any. They might have had some, but I didn't feel like asking, so I just went to the at the service desk where you return items and waited for my turn. After I was done and got my money back I left the store and went back to the mall.

I had just got to the mall and was deciding what to eat when I heard my phone ringing. My ringtone is "Unbreakable" by Fireflight. Mom called and it turned out she was at the transit center waiting for me. I told her I was at the mall and that she should come over to the food court. I wasn't near the food court because I was thinking of going to Starbucks, but I ran over there and we left. She needed to pick up some dog food from Petsmart. We went there and got the food. Apparently they were also doing obedience training as well because there were a lot of cute dogs there. I should have gotten pictures. On our way out we also looked at the dogs being groomed. We went home after that. I was SO hungry and I ate a cheese stick, carrot juice and a rice and chicken burrito. I just chilled out for the rest of the day and watched anime.

Around 10pm my home teacher brought be some fruit snacks and a Candy Crush movie popcorn kit. I decided to just got for it and so I popped the popcorn and ate half of the candy while watching the Naruto movies. After doing this I just decided to throw away the rest of the candy. I also ate a couple of fruit snacks, but nothing more than this happened last night.








I successfully fasted for 18 hours from midnight until 6pm for fast Sunday today. Instead of spending time on my phone like I usually do I brought some pens and colored pencils and did funny doodles in sacrament meeting and it was so much easier paying attention. I didn't even touch my phone until it was over. The testimonies today were interesting, just a couple were a girl that could only speak Russian that had to have a translator and a guy that was from Japan and told us his conversion story. The Russian girl also did the same.

Here are the doodles I did.


In Sunday school we talked about prayer and Devin put us all into groups studying a aspect of prayer and after this we shared our findings. I was part of group two with Devin and we talked about how prayers are answered. Examples of what other groups talked about are what are prayers and why do we say them. The lesson was interesting. I got to use my phone a bit in this class, but not too much.

In relief society we talked about and studied 2nd Nephi 6 in the Book of Mormon. Honestly, it kind of flew over my head. I'm not reading the Book of Mormon with the rest of the relief society. I don't like to read it simply because I'm told to. I like to read it because I WANT to. Needless to say I'm going to start on my own time soon. This way I'll avoid feeling robotic and forced about it. I do the same thing with fasting actually. If I don't feel like fasting, I just simply don't and I like fasting so I don't mind doing it on another day.

After church we had tuns and cheese noodle casserole and I even had toast and carrot juice with it. I watched Naruto and ate. I decided instead of saving my fruit snacks I was just going to get it over with and eat all of them with the other half of my popcorn. I did this and later ate a burrito to replenish some nutrients I knew I'd probably lost from all the sugar. I also promised myself I'd be more careful about letting people bring me sugary snacks and noted to tell people that I'm sugar free now.

The only other thing that happened tonight is that I started reading an amazing Harry Potter fanfic called "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality". It turns the whole Harry Potter world upside down and is amazing and way different.

Shopping!

Just like I thought I got payed today! It's a good thing I had self control yesterday at Walmart.

I rode the bus to UVU, walked to Walmart and got a few things. I ended up not getting the jeans I tried on last Tuesday. I also went back to the mall and made sure to look around for anything else I needed. It was hard both at Walmart and the mall to buying a lot of workout clothes and other items. I managed to restrain myself of course. Here are the pictures of the things I bought.





I naturally went out for food as is my tradition on the first day I get my money. I went to Flaming Wok, a Chinese fast food place at the food court and got combo C which was Bourbon chicken, mixed veggies and rice.


I made sure to walk around a lot more to burn off some of the calories. I headed to Michael's craft store and bought some button pins and more bandannas. I then headed back to the mall and then headed home on the bus.

The rest of the night isn't really important, I started creating an order of button pins from Zazzle.com and took pictures of the things I got. While I was doing this I noticed I got the wrong size of underwear and it looks like I'm going to have to return then tomorrow. I don't know if I'll even bother buying more. Sorry if this is a little T.M.I, but I just thought that this was a little stupid of me to let this happen. I think this is all for tonight. I'm going to go back to watching Naruto.

Here is my full set of bandannas.

Bandannas

Today was pretty simple. I went to the gym in the morning and did an hour of cardio before institute as usual. I went to the mall though and went to Claire's and looked at their clearance items. I was late to institute though because I looked around there for too long. I ended up buying a bracelet that was on clearance though for $2. I think it was worth it, even though it can be a bit tricky to put on myself. Here is a picture.


It's a pretty cool bracelet and was originally $8. I've actually had my eye I it for a while.

When I got to institute they were having KFC for lunch. I noticed that I lost my lunch card and so I had to get something from the school store to get done cash back to pay for lunch. Unfortunately for me I forgot that institute also takes cards for lunch payment now. It wasn't until I had the cash and payed for lunch that I remembered this little detail. I was around a half an hour late for class by the time I was finished eating my grilled chicken, potatoes, corn and biscuit. I went to class anyway because I felt bad for skipping on Tuesday.

After class I went to Walmart and looked at the bandannas. I was tempted to buy a few. But decided to wait. I couldn't remember every color I had and I didn't want to buy duplicates by accident. I was also tempted to buy new tank tops, but I'm low on money and think I'm going to get payed tomorrow so I waited and left the store empty handed.

I got off at Harmon's first though and got that butternut squash soup that burned me yesterday. I called Laura to come and get me because it was simply too cold to walk home.

When I got home I ate the soup, it was amazing just like I thought it would be. It even had a bit of spice to it which I love.

Later on I found all my bandannas and took a few pictures so I could know what colors to get when I go shopping possibly tomorrow or Saturday.

Soup Burns

Today I decided I wanted to go somewhere because I've been hiding from the weather for long enough. I got my Canada hoodie on grabbed my wallet and went to Harmons. I listened to techno music on the way there. It was pretty cold, but I survived.

I was going to get some Bolthouse Farms Ranch dressing, but they were out of the normal kind. I then was going to buy a couple of kind bars, but changed my mind on those too. After being indecisive about what I wanted to get I settled on some soup. It was butternut squash soup to be precise. I got a container and started ladling some into the cup, or at least tried to. I had never gotten soup from Harmons before and messed up by trying to ladle too much into the 8oz container I was holding. The soup spilled from out of the ladle and onto the hand I was using to hold the cup. As s result I burned 4 of my fingers. My ring finger on my left hand was the worst and it burned very badly.

Naturally I headed straight to the restroom and put it under water. After a couple of minutes I told the employees what had happened and they helped clean it up. They asked if I needed to file an accident report, but i declined. I was feeling a bit emotional because pain can sometimes break free my emotions. I cried a bit as my fingers hurt very badly and I couldn't hold it in when I tried to speak. It was a little uncomfortable getting emotional around the employees, but I went back to putting my hand under icy water. I did call my mom who was on her way to pick up Panda from the vet. She decided to come back and take me home since I was in pain and didn't feel like walking home because I was so emotional. I left the store empty handed and went home and iced my hand. The incident made me feel a bit queasy for a while, but eventually I was fine.


I told Darik and Dylan about it naturally and then proceeded to take it easy the rest of the day after I put aloe Vera gel on my hands which helped a lot. I don't feel like typing, so I'll just let it be for today.

Stupid Junk Email

I was looking through my junk email for funny and stupid scams when I found this and forgot to share it here yesterday. The others that made me laugh were Russian bride emails.

Since all I have done today is study Naruto anime fillers here are the pictures.




Hopefully this week can only go up from here.

More Savage Chickens

My parents have concerts this week so I might no get out as much this week. It might be slow. Here is another Savsge Chickens comic.

Sugar Cheat

Yesterday I reached my half way point in weight loss. I also went to a Salad dinner at my home ward. Various members of the ward got together and had a relief society dinner where they all brought salads. Actually now that I think about it, it was probably a stake thing and not just a ward thing. I definitely cheated on my sugar free diet. I had a lemon bar, some different kinds of jello salads, some pasta salads, and a lot of pineapple. Laura made a fruit salad with strawberries, apples, grapes, peaches, oranges, and other stuff I don't remember. I also went to the gym and tried out their new stair machines (which I love now), and took my official update pic! I know cheating on my diet this weekend is kind of dumb since I just reached my half way point, but I'm not eating anything with added sugar until Easter. Here is my update pic.


We talked about how we can improve spiritually today in church. We had breakfast for our Fourth Sunday feast today. I ate Marshmallow Matey's, a cupcake, some cookies, and a muffin. I am right back to my no sugar diet as of now. I won't be eating sugar again until Easter like I said before. Sugar doesn't make me feel very good anyway, so this is a great choice.

Here are a few pictures of today's food. I even got to take home a free jug of milk!





I ate a lot of sourdough bread with butter tonight. I decided I might as well just do what I want until tomorrow. I also ate this quinoa kale stuff, it was pretty great. I decided not to even try to log most of the stuff I ate tonight on MyFitnessPal.

Anyway, I've caught up on the Naruto dub finally. I guess this is all for today.

Drawing the Line

I love quest bars, but I hate Splenda. Everything my mom says about it is bad and makes sense. I won't touch the stuff with a ten foot poll. When I learned that Quest Bars have Splenda I drew the line there. No matter what I'm not making any exceptions. I learned about this when I was at the mall today.

We had shepherds pie tonight for dinner.

Today was simple, but I always enjoy looking at the stores in the mall.

Oh yeah, weight loss spoilers.

Calorie Mistakes

Today we had pizza at institute, COSTCO pizza which is my favorite. I underestimated the calories and ate two slices. I had no idea that was around 1000 calories and knew I was in for a long day when I realized this.

I took a nap in choir and then left for the mall where I looked around. I also went to Michael's craft store and looked around. I ate a Kind Nut bar and just walked around town for a while. After I made my calorie mistake I planned my day out food and activity wise.

Later I went to the gym and saw my personal trainer. I did my usual stuff, but here are some pictures. This was pretty much my day today. I managed to burn off all the excess calories. It was around 10:40pm when I got home.

Sports Stuff

Today I went to the gym and also went window shopping for fitness equipment. My current stretch cord resistance band isn't strong enough anymore. I was playing around with this yesterday and I noticed this little fact. I also window shopped for sweat bands, though I couldn't find any for my arms. I'm sure I'll find some later though.

Anyway, here are some pictures.


The strength I need.



Handles and accessories. I have no idea why I didn't take a picture of the actual bands.


Sweat bands


Random pair of boxing gloves. I want to get some eventually, not quite yet though.

I had a pretty nice dinner tonight. Potatoes with sour cream, salad with ranch dressing, and turkey.