Kind of Cranky Today

Today has been just a normal Sunday, it was cloudy and a bit gloomy. Nothing really of not besides for the 2nd day in a row no one told me about dinner when it was done and I almost didn't get any AGAIN! It happened yesterday too. We had grilled cheese and tomato soup. This tomato soup is a lot better than the Campbells soups though and it usually goes pretty fast when we make it. I hat it when I am almost left out of stuff like that, it gets on my nerves.

I am a bit behind in school right now in all my classes except Astronomy. I don't remember if I told you, but we have these weekly quizzes we are supposed to take online on the weekends and I forgot to do a few. My professor was kind enough to unlock them and let me do them so I could get the points. They are pretty hard quizzes, it took me a good 2 and a half hours to get them done. That was earlier this week sometime I think.  I have been able to stay caught up lately which I am glad about. I have a lot to do in my English class though. I am sure I'll survive somehow, I just have to pace myself slowly and keep my mind relaxed. I nearly forgot to do this weeks Astronomy quiz, it was only 20 minutes before it was due before I remembered. I was able to finish it in 12 minutes and get 11 / 20. Not the best score, but it'll have to do.

We had a test in Yoga on Thursday, I was the last one to finish and I actually had to correct after class with the teacher because I was so slow to finish. I was a bit embarrassed, but I did try my best. I even tried to study in my two hours of free time between classes, but couldn't concentrate. I ended up giving up and just heading to class and looking up some stuff on my phone before we did the test. I will be glad to be doing actual Yoga in class again this week. I still have a few things to turn in, but I have to worry about English first. I got all thrown off and stuff and now I am in big trouble. I'm really going to have to crack down on everything this week.

Saturday was boring, I just watched Star Trek, hung out, and did lazy stuff all day. I didn't get any homework done this weekend. I know that is bad, but I had to get organized and plan everything out. I have a feeling I am going to have to be extra motivated this week. 

I went out for Ice cream on Thursday, and got Lime Ricky sherbet. I love Lime Ricky sherbet, it is one of my favorite. I ate it on the way to my yoga class, I was trying to calm down and relax, I was super worried about the test.  I had some cherry chocolate chip ice cream earlier this week, but I didn't like it as much as I thought I would so I decided to get the sherbet the next day.  On Friday they were out of the fruit and yogurt parfaits they have usually, but they had these cherry chocolate pudding pie cups and I decided to try one out. It had whipped cream, cake, pudding, and the cherry filling which was pretty good. I don't think I will get it again, much to sweet and strong for me, but it was good for a one time spur of the moment thing. I had woken up late on Friday, so I didn't get to eat breakfast and I was pretty hungry after English.  I usually do not buy so much stuff at school. I think I am pretty much broke for the next week and a half which kind of sucks.

I've been in kind of a bad mood today, I get that way sometimes. It always passes, but I really don't like it. I probably should have payed more attention to church today for sure.  I went out and visited some of the people in my ward today with my visiting teaching companion. For those who are not familiar with what visiting teaching is it's when you have a female companion, and you are assigned to two different people (girls) and you visit them and talk and give a lesson about some gospel topic once a month.  It can be fun, not everyone's visiting teachers come though, like mine for example. Mine haven't come in over 2 months I'm pretty sure and believe me I hate it. I might just have to complain soon.

I'm still talking to Ronnie, but we haven't gotten to talk very often lately for the last month or so. His life has been pretty complicated and tough and stuff. I really wish I could do more, but he lives so far away it's hard. I really care about him a lot he is an amazing person.

Anyway, I guess this is all for now. If I forgot anything I'll just add it into tomorrows post. :)  <3

 

Rolling Out

Today in Pilates we used these foam rolls that were about 3 feet high. Our instructor told us how to use them to help smooth out the fasca in our bodies. It was pretty painful, but felt good at the same time. I think I might have to get one of those foam rolls. There are a few things we use in Pilates that I do not have yet, like the ring, the weights, and a few other things. Anyway it was a really fun class, we used the ball weights for the first time today, I really liked them a lot. After we did the ball weights we did the foam roll thing.

Here is what I mean by foam roll. Just a short example.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2XTnYWMhhA]

We talked about Uranus and Neptune today in Astronomy, it was really fun. I was a little late to class and missed the in class quiz because of my English class previous to my Astronomy class. My teacher was nice enough to give me half credit anyway. I have never really known much about those two planets and it was really fun learning about them. In English we talked about the presidential debate, and this assignment that we are doing for it. We analyzed the different aspects of the debate, and how they answered the questions, and when they didn't answer the questions very well.  It was pretty interesting all the different points of view we got in the class from everyone.

I've been looking up videos on youtube about people that go blind for a day. What they do is they usually have a blindfold and sometimes a cane (if they do it right) and they just try to do everything completely blind for a day. I am legally blind, my vision sucks, but I still think that someday I would like to try this. I think I could have a lot of fun doing it, mostly because I already know how to handle a situation like that and I know I can do it correctly because I've been taught from a young age. When I was younger I was at risk for glaucoma and they thought that I would maybe develop it. I was taught how to do stuff for this reason. I never developed it, but now I have all this knowledge I can use in this kind of situation. If I do go blind for a day I will make sure to get it on video for sure. I probably won't do it for a while, but when I do I will share it with you guys.

I went shopping with my mom and sister after school. We just went to Costco and picked up a few things like cheese, chips, eggs, and a couple other things I don't remember. It was a pretty short trip. Afterwards we went to another store nearby and my sister and I bought some pecan caramel bars, and she bought some gluten free flower. We went home after these. The pecan caramel bars were great.

Anyway, nothing else worth note really happened today, at least nothing I remember right now. If I do remember something I will just do what I usually do and edit. :)

 

I Hate Wasps!

After my last entry was posted and we had hamburgers for dinner and lemon bars for dessert most of us went our ways and I went downstairs as usual to do my own thing. I was at the computer doing something, I think looking up youtube videos when out of nowhere this really big wasp just flies past me and freaks me out. I closed my laptop, turned out my light and went upstairs hoping it would be attracted to light and leave my room. I told my family about it and my brother went looking for it in my room. I kind of assumed it left because it wasn't flying around, or bugging me or anything. I always kept my eyes open the whole time before I went to bed though. I was so sure it was gone until I was watching Star Trek Voyager before bed and sure enough it starts bugging me. I think it might have been behind my bed or something because it didn't bother me until I was sitting on it. I just kind of ignored it for a while. I was just sitting there watching Voyager when I put my fingers down right on the spot where it just HAPPENED to be and right after I registered it was there I got a very sharp, painful prick on my middle finger.

I promptly freaked out and panicked. At first I wasn't sure it was the wasp at first, I have never been stung by a wasp before last night so I didn't know what it felt like. I was afraid it had been a spider or something because of how painful it was. I was so freaked out I turned on my light and started looking around for it. The little pest was still on my bed! I got it to fly off the bed and around the room for a while, about 2 or 3 minutes. I couldn't get it, and I was too freaked out to just sleep there anyway, so I grabbed one of my pink blankets from my closet and a pillow and moved out into the family room. I made sure it didn't follow me out and shut my door.

I set up and then lied down on the couch. I just lied there just thinking about what happened. I was pretty upset and was still in shock a little bit. It made my heart beat kind of fast, it was scary. Right then Ronnie just happened to send me a message, I missed him by one minute, but I sent him back one telling him what had happened. I was so relieved to see he said something I actually started to cry. I was pretty genuinely freaked out by what had happened and it was just perfect timing for him to say something. I was able to relax and calm down after I sent him a message.

I went to sleep after this, and slept pretty good.

In the morning just the usual stuff happened, got ready for school, ate breakfast (Cocoa Krispies), listened to a bit of music, and then went to school a bit early today because my sister had a doctor's appointment.

I was pretty worn out and slept through my institute class. In English we learned more about the classes we have to take in order to graduate, and we actually made a list and organized it and stuff, so now I have a whole list of the classes I need to take.

Today was a review in Yoga for a test we are taking on Thursday. I didn't have to wear my yoga clothes today, so I just walked around the school for a while before class. I lost track of time and was a couple minutes late for yoga, but it was fine because the instructor started late. We just talked about everything that is going to be on the test, I tried to take notes but gave up because he was going to fast for me. I just listened after this. 

After school I called my sister and she came and picked me up. We also picked up my mom. We went home after this and I just hung out for the rest of the day reading manga, doing stuff on twitter, and some other things that aren't worth mentioning. Oh, and I didn't see that wasp until after school, it was dead when we found it. I am so glad it's gone. I hope that is the last I see of any bugs in my room for a while.

I did watch the presidential debate for a little bit, but zoned out when I started reading my friends posts on facebook.

Anyway, so that is all for now. If I forgot to mention anything I will just add it later. :)

White Cane Safety Day

I chose today to return to Xanga because today is kind of special to me. Today is White Cane Safety Day / Blind Americans Equality Day. White Cane Day is an international day that is celebrated in more than just our country. It's a day for recognizing blind and visually impaired people, it's a day for recognizing the white cane and it's importance, and it's a day for equality.

Some of you know I was born blind, but after a year I started to get my sight back. I never got it completely back, but I do have enough to get around. I am legally blind in both eyes even with correction. My best eye can only be corrected to 20/200 and the other 20/300. I have almost no depth perception, I have ocular albinism, and Nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eyes). I started going to the school for the blind in the 2nd grade, I was there for almost 4 years (until half way through 5th grade). They taught us about canes and how to use them, braille, mainstream stuff like math, English, reading, and a few other things I don't remember right now.  I met some of my best friends there. When I first got there there was only 5 or 6 other people in the class, then they had a class for younger students next door. We also did stuff like music, and art, and we played on the playground.  There was 3 or 4 different teachers that helped us in class, everything was very organized and I loved it at that school very much. We had this system set up where we would earn fake money if we were good, and at the end of the week we would hold a little store where we could buy stuff. I think I have talked about this in the past, but I don't remember. It was always a blast at that school, I loved it so much it was amazing. I did have rough times sometimes, but it usually worked out.

I actually have a memory from one year there of us celebrating white cane day. We invited the sighted kids to come and do stuff with us in the gym there at the school. It was so long ago, all I remember is that we had made or gotten a bunch of simulation goggles that simulated different vision problems. We let people put those on and use the white canes we had. We also taught people how to use the white canes as well. I didn't know it was white Cane Safety Day that day, but I still had fun! Actually I didn't even know about White Cane Safety Day until 3 years ago, it's surprising I never caught onto it. I am extra glad I remembered that day we had in school now.  I had a crush on a boy named Jessie back then, I remember he was there too.

My best friend there was Eric, you probably know about him a little bit. He was my best friend until my first year of college back in 2007 -2008. I had to quit talking to him after he got married. I had a couple rough years after I had to let him go because we had been so close. When we met at the school for the blind we didn't always get along, we actually fought a lot, but we always made up. He could be scary sometimes (he is very big), and had a kind of bad temper from losing his dad and stuff but we always had fun with each other.

I have had a cane for most of my life, but have been too stubborn to use it up until a few years ago. I don't use it all the time, just sometimes because glasses really don't do enough for me.  There are 2 types of canes for visually impaired people. There is the ID cane, which is more for letting people know you have bad vision rather than for getting around (it does help but that is not what it's primary purpose is). Then there are mobility canes which are for not only letting people know you have bad or no vision, but for getting around. People that can get around, but still have a little bit of trouble but don't need the cane all the time might use an ID cane. I currently only have a mobility cane and I feel a bit weird using it because I don't need it all the time. I am going to get an ID cane because I know I won't feel as weird using it. 

Not everyone that uses a cane is completely blind, there are actually quite a few people that use a cane that aren't completely blind, so don't be surprised when you see a person with a cane sometimes do something a sighted person can do. Anyone that is legally blind or worse can use a White cane.

There are three different materials you can get a cane in. Graphite, aluminum, and fiber glass. There are solid canes, folding canes and telescope canes so far as types go. The most sturdy ones are the graphite ones, that is what mine is currently. Mobility canes have a golf grip at the top, ID canes do not. If you want to know more about the design of canes you can go to the AmbuTech website.  ID canes are also lighter than mobility canes, cheaper and not as sturdy.  I guess this is the case because they are built more for identification rather than for mobility. My vision is unpredictable so I want to have both types.

I have created a Twitter for facts about blind people it's @theblindfacts  if you are on twitter follow my 2nd account. :)

Anyway, I got glasses 5 years ago but I got the prescription for those at a kind of bad eye doctor so I haven't had an accurate prescription in over 6 years now, possibly more. Today I went and found the glasses I am going to be buying next month probably. I don't use glasses that much because they make me feel like I lose my awareness because they mess up my peripheral vision and stuff. I do use them for movies, video games, tv, and other stuff like that however. Outside those kinds of things glasses really have no use for me. I have my own way of doing things. I have refused to wear them for my whole life, so now I'm just so used to going without them that it's just too weird to use them all the time.

I didn't end up using my cane at all today, but I have been keeping track of those who do use their canes, like friends and stuff. It takes a lot more guts than people realize to use a cane in public. Almost everyone that uses a cane has had to overcome the obstacle of self consciousness.

So, today after I picked out my glasses I went to school. Nothing that interesting happened in English, in Astronomy we talked about Saturn and Jupiter though, that was awesome. In Pilate's today I didn't wear my exercise clothes because I thought we were having a test review day, it turns out that is only for Yoga this week and not Pilates, so I had to do the class today in my jeans and green shirt, it was kind of weird. I definitely see why no one would ever want to do it in jeans.

After school my mom got a lamp fixed and we bought some pumpkins from the store and then went home. That is what has happened so far.  If anything happens I'll edit when the day is done. 

Anyway, so that was my day today. Some people hold White Cane walks to the state capitol in some states on White Cane Safety Day. I am not sure if my state does that, but I have seen people in other states that have done that.  In New Hampshire they actually took it a step further and made shirts as well which I think is very cool. The mayor then gives some kind of declaration, I'm not sure exactly what it is but it has to do with blind people and their rights and stuff like that. I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with the day itself as well. It takes place at the state capitol of the states that hold the white cane walk. I saw last year a group of visually impaired dancers even did a flash mob. Of course some people choose to celebrations before or after White cane safety Day as well because the actual day might not be convenient for some people and other situations.

White Cane Safety Day Flash Mob (2011)

The music used in this video is the actual music they used.  If you pay attention closely you can hear them playing at the same time.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qjecAbHtWo]

I guess this is all for now. I'll edit later if I decide I need to say anything more. :)

Oh and did you guys know that this month is also Disability Awareness month?

Please rec his post. I think more people should know about White Cane Safety Day / blind American's Equality Day.  <3

Brighter than Usual

My day today started in quite a hurry. Right after I woke up I had to get in the car to go to the eye doctor. I woke up about an hour before we were supposed to be there, but it takes about that long to drive there. I didn't even have time to eat breakfast, or change my clothes. I just got out of bed, turned off my radio alarm clock, grabbed my backpack, my phone and my purse and headed out the door. The sun wasn't even up yet by the time we left, the mountains were still blocking it. It was around 8am.

I just took out my phone and my ear buds, and turned on dubstep radio on Pandora. I was trying to wake up. I was still a little dazed, because I had only been asleep for 5 minutes by the time we left. My mom and I didn't really talk very much on the way there. I was mainly half dozing, half sleeping, just caught between being awake and asleep. Everything went by me so fast and time seemed to just zoom past me. The car ride didn't seem that long, but we were in the car for probably 45 minutes driving up to the office. By the time we got to my eye doctor's office the sun was up. 

We went inside, and and told the person at the front we were there, signed a couple things, provided the info for my insurance, and boring stuff like that.  We then were told to wait, so we sat in some nearby chairs. I was doing something on my phone, don't remember now, but I remember it wasn't a game or anything like that. I try not to do anything that can strain my eyes before I go to the eye doctor. I try to avoid anything that will mess with my eye doctor's ability to give me a good prescription for glasses. I don't war glass very often, but it is always good if I have an accurate pair just in case.

I was called into the office about 10 minutes after we sat down. He put that funny contraption up against my face, the one they use to see how far you can be corrected. He used that to do the right eye / left eye test where you read the letters that are a certain distance away first. Without correction I could only read the first letter with both my right and my left eyes. He then did the correction to the best of his ability and I had to go through the process where you hear a lot of "do you like 1 or 2 better". It's kind of hard for me to tell which one is clearer when I look through that thing because of my nystagmus. My nystagmus makes my eyes move around and it's hard to focus. I am glad he knows how to accurately tell my perscription even with my troubles. 

He put some numbing drops in my eyes, and then he did a pressure test. I then had a few other drops put in my eyes to dilate my eyes. I was then told to wait outside for a few minutes until they dilated.  I went outside the little room I was in and I waited there for what I think was 8 to 10 minutes. By the time I was called back into the little room it was very bright and I had put my sunglasses on. The doctors assistant or something turned the lights down, but it was still pretty bright.  After this we did another pressure test, and the doctor checked my eyes with this really bright light, actually he used more than one bright light, I think he did like 3 separate things. I have no idea what he was doing. One of those times he used that funny thing they use to check what your glasses prescription is and checked my eyes through there. It was at this time he checked to see what my correction was again. I think I only had to answer the 1 or 2 question like twice. He adjusted my prescription a little bit.

We were done after this. My vision with correction is 20/ 300 in one eye and 20 / 200 in the other. My prescription this time is a little bit stronger, but not much.  We left right after this, well right after we gave him this form I needed to have filled out for school proving m vision impairment so I can use the accessibility office at school if I need to. After we gave him that, he said he would fill it out and give it back to us sometime soon. We left after this. I grabbed some of the plastic shades first of course before I did this so it wouldn't be so bright.

I just listened to music and dozed off again while we were driving. When we got close to the school we started talking about where we wanted to go for lunch.  We decided on this little place called "Mimi's Cafe". I had never been there before, and my mom said it was good. I had their french toast a few years back at some kind of food fair, but that was about it.

When we went in they asked us if we wanted the breakfast menu, or the lunch menu. I had been wearing both my sunglasses, and the plastic ones I got at the office at the same time because it was so bright, I took off mine when we got there though.  We picked the lunch menu, and then they brought us to our table.  We sat down and I started looking over the menu. I decided on the strawberry banana shake for a drink, and it took me a few more minutes after I ordered the drink to decide what I wanted to eat.  My mom just got a water, and she ordered some kind of dipping platter for an appetizer. I ordered the sweet and sour chicken meal, it had sweet and sour chicken, rice, and vegetables. My mom got this pot roast dish, I forgot what else it had on it. After a few minutes we were brought our water, and the appetizer, and I was brought my shake. My shake was in a really cool tall glass and had whipped cream on top.  I should probably mention that it was made by a bartender. I thought that was kind of cool.

The appetizer had crispy chicken sticks, and some kind of zucchini sticks.  There was also 3 kinds of sauces, tomato, ranch, and I'm not quite sure what the 3rd one was but it was great. After we waited for a while longer we were brought the food we ordered.  Both of our dishes were great. I loved everything about my sweet and sour chicken, rice, and vegetables, and my mom's dish looked pretty professional looking as well. I was very glad we decided to g there, it was obviously high quality and they all did their jobs well. We just sat there talking and eating for a while, really enjoying our food and talking about a sports team that was sitting nearby us. We were trying to figure out what kind of school they were from. Later after they started to leave we noticed they were from another local school besides the one I go to.

After we were done we put the rest of our stuff in a take home box, paid, and then left. I got out my pair of shades and put them over the plastic ones again. 

We drove to school and my mom dropped me off at the library. I was wishing I had brought my cane right about then, because things were a bit more blurry than they usually are when my eyes were dilated, plus I had 2 pairs of shades on, so it was pretty different. I somehow managed to walk to my class without tripping or running into anyone. When I got to class we just discussed our essay and stuff, nothing that interesting.

Astronomy was awesome today, we talked about stuff like the movement of planets, more stuff about orbits, comets, and stuff like that. What really got my interest was when we went off on a tangent at the beginning of class when someone asked something about warp speed. The professor proceeded to tell us more about how warp speed works, and that they are getting closer to being able to achieve it for space travel. He explained what anti-matter is and how it works and stuff like that as well. My mind was so blown by the time class ended. I have a whole new level of hope for space travel in the future now. We also talked about other possibly inhabitable planets that are 40 or less light years away from us, and a few other space travel related things.

The room that astronomy is in is pretty dim, so I actually took off my sunglasses for a while, the plastic ones were starting to bug my ears a little. I was glad I got to take them off during astronomy, I was a lot more comfortable.  Also, there is usually a chair in the front I sit in, but I decided to sit somewhere else in one of the other chairs. I chose a really good spot and it was awesome the whole time I was there.  We are going to be using the planetarium again on Monday and are going to be simulating more stars and stuff. I think if it is anything like last time we used the planetarium it is going to be awesome. 

After class ended I walked to the library where I usually wait for my ride and called my mom. I was going to go to Jamba Juice while I was waiting, but changed my mind. I was craving a smoothie but decided to make one myself when I got home.  It took my mom a while to get to the school to pick me up, I was only wearing one pair of shades by this time, things weren't as bright by the time school was over. 

I dozed off again on my way back home, I was pretty tired. Nothing much happened after school. I ate some pineapple, and just hung around the house looking through our new cable channels, watching anime, and working on homework. We had bought the pineapple a few days earlier and it was getting to be a little too ripe, I was the only one that noticed this, and it was just in time too! 

It took my eyes another hour or two for the brightness to wear off.I am a little bit behind in English, so I am mostly going to be working on catching up and working on my essay and upcoming astronomy quizzes. I really hope this will not be a boring weekend.  Anyway, I am probably going to go back to reading manga or something, so I'll write more later. Sorry for the lack of updates.

Such a Blur

Today has been pretty boring. I just went to Costco with my dad earlier and he got a few things. I have just been hanging out at home today, just watching stuff on youtube, mostly minecraft related stuff. I am trying to make a Minecraft animation playlist on youtube. So far it has over 70 videos in it. I have started making various playlists for fun lately. I did a few minor things on Destiny Online, fought monsters, and some minor bosses, talked to friends, stuff like that. My dad is making tacos for dinner right now. My sister is of with her family going to the new Ice Age movie. She asked me if I wanted to go, but I didn't feel like it. I'm kind of in one of those (meh) moods right now. I haven't talked to Ronnie for a couple days, he is a really great friend to me. I really like talking to him and always miss him when he is away and we can't talk. I have no idea what he is doing, but I'm sure he is doing something, so I can't really complain. I really missed having a friend I felt like I could talk to about anything. Today is the one month anniversary of when we started talking a lot with each other. We talked to each other before, but he had a girlfriend and stuff and so we couldn't talk very much because she got jealous when he talked to other girls. I have actually known him for almost 4 years now. It's kind of hard when we can't talk, but I try not to let it get to me too much.

Yesterday was crazy, I was so nervous for my Astronomy test, I was so sure I wouldn't know very many of the questions. I tried skiming the book again, but didn't feel like it was good enough, I was going through my memories all day yesterday trying to salvage what I remembered from all my class periods so far in Astronomy. After school I took it, and to my surprise, I actually remembered more than I thought I did. I am pretty sure I won't get a perfect score, but I think I will get a good score. Definitely not going to fail it for sure. I actually accidentally fell asleep part way through my Astronomy class yesterday. That was part of the reason why I was so worried about the test. Yesterdays' class was a review of what we have talked about.  It is really easy to get comfortable in that class and fall asleep. The lights are usually dim, and the chairs are comfy as well.

I had English as well yesterday, but nothing to write about that, it was pretty normal. I am a little behind, but nothing I can't fix in a day or two. I have trouble with procrastinating sometimes, it's not, too bad, I keep it under control.

After school I just chilled out, watched Cars, listened to music, did stuff on Destiny Online, and a few things on Twitter (Starya).  Later, towards the evening my sister, and her family went out to eat at this resteraunt called Applebee's. I came with them, they were using a coupon that my niece Natalie got from reading for school. I had never gone to Applebee's before, I thought it was pretty great. I got this Orange chicken meal. It had crispy orange chicken, rice, and vegitables. I loved it a lot. For the drink I had a mango lemonade slushy, I had never had that particular one before. I thought it was really great, I will definitely be getting that again if I go to Applebee's again sometime. They also had some pretty different other flavors of lemonade, I actually had trouble choosing a little bit.

After we ate we were going to go to a movie, to the new Ice Age movie yesterday, but we decided to go today, and I no longer felt like it today so... I guess I will have to go next time.

When I got home I just did some stretching, and after a while I decided to make some Rice Krispy Treats for fun. I had never made them before yesterday night, and I really wanted to try it, so I printed out the recipe and did it. My sister makes them with double everything except for she uses the same amount of Rice Krispies. So that is 6 tbs of butter, 20 oz (ounces) of marshmallows, and 6 cups of Rice Krispies.  I decided to make it the way my sister does.

They turned out really fantastic, everyone approved. They only lasted until half way through the afternoon today.

Wednesday and Thursday are a blur to me right now. I was so focused on the Astronomy test this week that I am very in the present right now.

Tuesday was fun though. At Institute we had a cross faith devotional. A catholic bishop by the name of John Wester came and told us about the catholic faith, the differences with our LDS faith and the similarities. It was really very interesting listening to him. The devotional was about an hour long and he talked for half of that. The institute's choir also sang. There was a prayer given at the beginning of the meeting by a catholic woman. She told us to say it with her, so we said the lords prayer together. I learned a lot about the catholic faith in that hour. I am glad our Institute of religion is trying to reach out to other faiths and be kind. 

This week in yoga we got through all out standing poses for the first time. I feel amazing every time I do yoga. I can tell things are just going to be getting better and better.

I sat with a couple of my friends I know from church and my earlier years in elementary school. 

I will just go ahead and post this now. I know I have forgotten a few things, if I remember them I will edit.

Times Up

I have always been a pretty dedicated Xanga user. I have always tried to chip in what I can, be premium and stuff, comment, and red, etc. Some of you know that a couple of months ago I had to get 3 fillings and I am still paying off the dental bill. I have been running on premium plus for the last year on here but it is almost expired. Usually if I didn't have to pay my last payment of $125 next month I would just buy another year, but Ii don't think I am going to be able to this time. I might just have to do the 6 month one this time. I really hate being short on money, it really does suck. Last month I got below a dollar. I didn't overdraw, but it got that low, it was insane.

The weekend was pretty boring, and even today nothing really that interesting happened. I've just been talking to friends and stuff. I spent a lot of time just doing homework, playing Destiny Online, and just random stuff that isn't worth mentioning.  Sunday was Stake conference, it's when all the wards in one stake (mormon vocab yay!) get together and have a big 2 hour meeting instead of the usual 3 hour block. It usually happens earlier than usual too, like around 10am. Different wards go to church at different times. It changes for everyone every year. Stake conference is like a sacrament meeting, only it's 2 hours long ad we don't take the sacrament.

Anyway, so as much as I hate to end it here, my brain is just totally shorting out. I'll make sure to write tomorrow. :)

Mixed Feelings

Bleh, I have mixed feelings about today. It's been kind of crazy.

My day started off as pretty normal. I got up and washed my hair, got ready for school, the normal stuff. I actually had milk and peanut butter cookies for breakfast today though, that was different. I forgot to submit a short English assignment for my class, so I did that really quick before school. My sister had a doctor's appointment and she had to leave for a while. I played Destiny Online, listened to music, and submitted that assignment before she got back.

She didn't come back until 10 minutes before class was about to start, we had to hurry to the school. I was feeling kind of neutral abou this situation. I really wasn't that upset about it because my teacher really doesn't make a big deal about me being late. It couldn't be helped today. I was pretty quiet as usual in the car today, I usually do not talk very much when I am in the car. I like to think about stuff when I am moving around like that.  I kind of felt a little bad about having to be late, but it couldn't be helped, so I just tried to ignore this.

I got to my class 10 minutes late, I hurried as fast as I could all the way there and up the flights of stairs. I was pretty out of breath by the time I made it there and made sure I stopped by a drinking fountain right before because my mouth was dry.

The class itself, we just presented these lists, pretty easy lists to the class with our groups we have. We had a question (like ours was "Why is Fast food so popular?") we presented our list of reasons to the class and added details if we wanted. Other groups in class had other questions. It got pretty interesting.

I went to Astronomy afterward, and we talked about the different types of light, and what they effect and how they effect things and people and how they work as well. I accidentally got a little too comfortable for a little bit and almost fell asleep. My friend warned me that might happen haha. The class was really fun though, and interesting as always. We are taking a test in a week though, I'm kind of nervous for that.  I think I will do fine, because I love Astronomy, but I am still a little nervous, because it's a lot of info to take in. Sometimes I forget things. I am always kind of disappointed when class has to be over.

Anyway, today is Friday, so I had no fitness classes, so I was done after Astronomy.

I had a Fruit and nut bar for lunch and took some pictures (I"ll upload them in the morning). I decided I wanted to stay a big longer, so I found a good wifi spot, and watched an episode of Cake Boss. I like the atmosphere at school, so I usually end up staying a bit longer than I need to. I didn't call anyone until 40 minutes after my class had ended. Then it took my dad at least 25 minutes to get to the school and pick me up, so I wasn't home for a while.

I have just been listening to music, watching Cake Boss, playing Destiny online, surfing facebook, and just hanging around the house. After school I found out that one of my friends from Destiny Online was really mad at me for selling a pet he gave me on the game. I had no clue he was the one who gave me the pet, I thought it was just a random person, and so I didn't think about selling it. I felt bad afterwards and I have been trying to contact the person I sold it to to try and trade for a different pet, so I could get his back, but she hasn't answered. Something tells me she doesn't want to give it up and this has been a particular point of stress for me today. I know it is a game, but my friend was so mad at me and I really want to make things right. I once had a different pet on the game a long time ago and one of my other game friends sold that one when I was away, so I know how that feels. I was pretty attached to it as well. I know this sounds a bit silly, but my relationship with Destiny Online has always been unique compared to other games. Alll of us have always been close on the game, and have been through so much the 4 years it's been out. I have a ton of memories on there. I only started blogging on here 2 months before I joined the game. Some of my long disappearances from here have to do with me playing on there in the past. 

Anyway, so I had that to deal with, plus aunt flow decided to visit today **cough cough** , AND I got a really bad bloody nose earlier in the day. I always become kind of drained and a little moody after that happens. That mixed with the other thing made me feel kind of irritated today, and moody and stuff. I've been feeling weird. I guess that is expected though. Oh yeah, not to mention that I hadn't talked to Ronnie for almost 2 days, and this was making me go crazy as well. He is a really cool guy, another friend I met on DO, (If you didn't know that from my previous posts).  He only contacted me about an hour ago. I am so relieved to be talking to him again. I really have been feeling thrown around emotionally today, so I was honestly truly happy to talk to him again.

Anyway, I have pictures and stuff I am planning on adding tomorrow morning. I might add a few other thoughts and feelings too. I am pretty fried today, so I might have to add stuff tomorrow. :)

I'll wait to add the tags tomorrow to. :P

Falling on My Face

My fitness classes (Yoga and Pilate's) are done for the week. I have Pilate's, Mondays' and Wednesdays , and Yoga Tuesdays and Thursdays. I kind of wish I had them Friday and Saturday as well ha ha. There are so many poses in Yoga so far that I have almost fell on my face trying to do so far. I actually bruised my knee one day when I fell over trying to do Reverse Triangle Pose. It was really funny however. I am really loving it though, despite how amateur I am at it.  My teacher always explains everything so clearly, and there are a lot of people in my Yoga class, so I can watch them too. I usually put my mat in the front, so I can see the best.  We started getting into the primary series of poses just like 2 or 3 classes ago. Last time we only did 3 or 4 of them, but today we did as many as 7 or possibly 8 of them. I don't remember precisely. I am gradually memorizing them. Some I can do a lot better than others.

I still have a lot of progress to make in both my Yoga and Pilate's classes, I am still very out of shape, especially for my Pilate's class, it is pretty hard but I do my best. I am working on my balance, and flexibility especially in my spare time.

I think we have our first test in Astronomy tomorrow, I'm a little nervous for that. There are still a lot of things I haven't quite caught on to yet.  I am going to study more later, and hopefully I will be able to fully grasp everything. I really love the class a lot, and can't wait to see what we talk about tomorrow. I want us to play around with the planetarium dome more as well, it's so cool.

English is going fine, I'm not sure if I said anything about us learning how to do APA papers on Tuesday, but that is what we did for that class period.  have English 4 days a week, kind of weird, but it works. We have 3 classroom days and 1 computer lab day.  We haven't been given anything that hard.

I usually have an hour between my Astronomy class, and my Pilates class, and my English class and My yoga class on almost every day except for Thursday and Friday. I have no English class at twelve on Thursday, and I have no fitness class on Friday. I usually just walk around campus in my free time just getting to know everything. I remember one of the days I went and read some of the apartment postings on the bulletin boards where they have all these houses and apartments for rent. Some of the ads are hilarious and made me laugh so hard.  People are so creative sometimes I tell you.  Sometimes I eat lunch in this time period, or just bring a nut bar, and buy a sobe Lifewater and drink that before class. I try not to eat very much before I exercise, that was actually recommended by my instructors.

Thursday, I don't remember if I mentioned this as well, but Thursday the Institute of Religion over near the University has a $2.00 lunch. It is something different every week. I didn't have it this week, but they had Taco Salad.  They call it 'Lunch Bunch".  The institute teachers are pretty nice and they sometimes buy people lunch if they don't have the money.

So, after my last post I actually sent the link to Darik. Not sure if he read it or not, he might have not read it. I made it a point to tell him to ignore the dramatic sounding title and to not read the other 3 parts. I don't think he would have read the other 3 parts even if I had given them to him as well anyway, so I'm not worried. I really wanted him to understand my feelings in this part. 

Yesterday I went to Costco with my mom and ad after school, we just bought a few little things, I also got some new pillows. They are just temporary pillows however, until I have enough money to buy a really good one next month. I sleep with two pillows, I get back and neck problems and stiffness if I don't. I put my 2nd pillow in the laundry room however to be washed. We decided that I just needed another pillow though. I can't afford the one I want right now, but I will be able to next month however. I'm looking for one that is like a micro bead pillow or something like that.

When I got home from school today my sister had made Peanut Butter cookies. I think this batch is for a neighbor or something though. I'm pretty sure she will make more for us however. 

Anyway, that is all for now. I know I usually do not post this early but I felt like writing, and when I feel like writing I know I should. :)

 

The Twin Dilemma (Part 4) [END]

I've always had so many pent up feelings for Darik. I used to be really stubborn when it came to liking him. I usually would never admit that I liked him, even to myself. After years of doing that all the stuff I feel for him, the stuff I was trying to repress got so tangled and messed up that when it finally all came out at me I got really confused and went haywire. It still stresses me out when I try to make sense out of everything I feel and organize it all, just not as bad now. I have made a commitment now to not bring this problem with me when we talk or if we see each other again. I told him I would drop it all and just go off a clean slate and not bring any of that frustration and stuff to him. It was really starting to put a strain on our friendship. Darik and Dylan have always been very patient with me and that is something I have always loved about them. Darik and I worked out the basics on the first and 2nd day of school. I told him that I would try and be myself and not worry about everything anymore if he would give me another chance. Once again he replied and said that we will always be friends and that will and has never changed. After all the drama he has had to put up with me in the past, these words never cease to surprise me. He really has a good heart. So, the foundation is there, I just have to make sure I don't mess it up again.
I still try to untangle the mess of my feelings for Darik sometimes, but I do it alone, when i"m not around anyone else. I get kind of stressed when I try to do it, and kind of burnt out, but I always stop if it becomes too much. I'm not kidding when I say everything is tangled in an incomprehensible mess. I know I'll eventually figure this out, even if it takes me more time than I want it to.
I made a commitment at the end of the last school semester when they graduated that I would just let go and leave them alone. I really felt like I couldn't do anything right, or say anything right either, so I just decided to let go and move on. Things did not go as planned however, it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. You also have to understand that they are both implanted so far and so deep into my subconscious that whenever I try to do stuff like this my subconscious rebels, in a big way too. If you have seen the posts about my dreams you know that I have a LOT of dreams about Darik, and Dylan as well, but not nearly as much as I have about Darik. When I dream about someone I have trouble not thinking about them for a little while afterward and that can sometimes create this cycle that is hard to break. I think about the person, and then I end up dreaming about them more.  I had this problem with my best friend Eric after he got married, my mind just did not want to let go of him. Well my problem with Darik is at least 10 times worse than this. I dream about him and it's like when I wake up my feelings for him are like 10 fold what they are usually and I can't get him off my mind and so the cycle just keeps going whether or not I want it to. My feelings calm down after a while, but the effect of the dreams usually lasts for a few hours after I wake up. So with this info you can probably understand why I had trouble letting go.
I was fine for a few weeks, but there was the matter of all my unresolved feelings for the both of them. Well, actually mostly Darik, I can ignore  my little problems with Dylan easy, they are nothing. I cracked at least 3 times and texted and messaged Darik. I felt to guilty for what a moron I had been though that every time I cracked it just made me feel worse. Sure, it made me feel better for a day or so but then I started doubting if I should have said what I said every time. I was so sure that Darik hated me by the end of the summer, I was shattered into a million pieces, or at least that is how I felt. The weight of still having a lot on my mind, the pressure of trying to untangle everything, and the pain of a lot of regret was just weighing me down. I was so stubborn, I did not want to let anything go, I wanted to solve it all. I am the kind of person that likes to resolve my feelings about stuff and solve my problems, all of them if I can. A lot of you know that I have a lot of regrets in my friendship with them, and the pressure of these regrets was killing me inside. I have trouble letting go of stuff like that. I am the kind of person that likes to solve EVERYTHING as I said before, even my feelings of regret for most things if I can.
In the end I ended up having to admit to myself that I just needed to let everything go, whether or not it was unresolved. I knew that if I was going to be a good friend I would have to get the hang of this. I knew I could do it and that is when I asked him for another chance and he said we were still friends. I am not expecting anything that big to happen, or for us to magically start talking a lot, I know that would be unrealistic. I do feel a lot better anyway, just because I am at least trying to let go of everything when I talk to him or if I see him. I don't feel bad about thinking about all that as long as I keep it to myself and work it out in private and don't bring him into it. I feel like a better friend now. I feel a lot better in general and not as... broken, I guess you could say.
You are probably wondering why I never talk about Dylan. That one is simple, there is just nothing I need to talk about. I am really quite satisfied with how things turned out with Dylan. I have no regrets, I did everything I could do and even though I probably could have been a lot more out going, I at least had a decent amount of time around Dylan when I was in school when I was younger. I really did like Dylan a lot, and I was able to organize my feelings and my thoughts a lot better and resolve almost all the inner problems I had a long time ago. It was kind of hard letting go, but I did it early enough that it didn't cause me too much trouble.  Sometimes I wish I hadn't made myself more distant on purpose, but it was necessary. I used to focus on Dylan a lot more, so I was able to keep myself organized and not let everything get tangled up and stuff. I never ignored my feelings for Dylan, I just carefully resolved them. It took me a few years after I decided I was going to let go of him, but I managed it just fine. He has a girlfriend now, an extremely awesome one too. I have always liked Jennifer a lot, she is really cool. I'm really glad I didn't let my problems with Darik effect my friendship with Dylan. I could have really screwed things up with Dylan if I hadn't been really careful. I came close to dragging him into it, but caught myself before I could do anything. I don't think he noticed the distance I kept from him, I was doing this on purpose. I didn't want to upset the balance. I made a wise decision.
Anyway, I guess this is all for now.

Ten Days Later

School has been going great for me. I am taking Yoga, Pilates, Astronomy, and English. So far over the past 10 days ssince school has really kicked into gear it hasn't been too hard, in my non-fitness classes that is. My Yoga and Pilates classes have really been working me hard, but I am really enjoying it. I have an awesome teacher, he is really fun and exciting, and he explains everything well in my Yoga class. My Pilates teacher has been working us to death, and it is only the third week, so it is still pretty hard for me in both classes. I can tell I am already getting better at those classes.
Astronomy has been fun we have been learning all about orbit, eclipses, planets, stars, etc. I still need to go through the chapters and read 1 to 5 again because it hasn't quite sunk in. I"m not surprised that my brain has taken a little bit of time to wake up, I did just get up off of a 4 month break. In the classroom, in the center of the room there is this big planetarium dome. We just started doing stuff with that. He simulated the orbit of some planets, and solar and lunar eclipses. I think the dome is really awesome, even if it doesn't always behave. The first day something went wrong and the stars started moving rapidly in one direction and everyone felt like they were zipping through the universe, it was trippy. I really enjoy my teacher, he is fun to listen to and exciting and knows how to crack a good joke. He always saves a good seat for me because of my visual impairment, I think that is really nice.  He also lets me be late without docking me because my previous class (English) is so far away. I can't wait to tell you guys more about this class as it progresses.  There is a lot I don't understand right now, but I can get the hang of it.
I am in the bottom English class in the college. I am very rusty in English, surprisingly enough. I'm sure none of you expected that since I write so much.  I don't know how to do a lot of things, like write papers, my grammar isn't the best, and some other things. So far I am liking the class, we have just started out with simple things like recognizing similar words, learning about the different kinds of papers there are and how to write and order them, and some other stuff. The class his pretty easy to understand, but gives enough challenge that I learn, but am not overwhelmed. We have this journal we write different stuff from the textbook in like responses to questions, summarizing paragraphs, and some other stuff.  It's nothing too hard, but gives a healthy dose of challenge. My teacher is pretty easy to understand as well. There are a lot of people from different countries in my class as well, It get's pretty interesting sometimes, sometimes some of them talk a lot though and that can be annoying.
I got a locker for my stuff for when I am in my fitness classes, it is all the way on the other side of campus from where I usually am. I also have to go up a ton of stairs, so when I go to put my stuff in it it's kind of like a pre-workout. I have been loosing a steady 3 pounds a week since school started because of all my activity. I am feeling really good. It's kind of exhausting walking back and forth between two ends of the campus, but it is helping me get into good shape. Sometimes I am tempted to take the elevator up instead of all those stairs, but then I think of all the help they can be.
I have also been careful about what I have been eating. I make sure not to pack anything really sugary or unhealthy in my lunches.  I also make sure I take a lot of vitamins, and drink a lot of water. My mom is a health expert, so she helps me a lot.
It is still pretty hot over here, so most of my days at school my back is completely soaked with sweat. I know that is kind of gross to some people, but there isn't really anything I can do about it ha ha. I am just glad I am getting into better shape.
I made sure not to schedule any of my classes before 11am, so I get plenty of sleep. I sometimes have a problem with falling asleep a little late, so this is good this semester. I am still trying to get my sleep patterns back on. They aren't that hard to get back on a good time, I just don't feel like going to bed early sometimes haha.
For ward Family Home Evening we played games, and ate these really great home made scones, they were amazing. I ate like 3 of them. I had one with powdered sugar and strawberry jam, one with honey, and one with cinnamon sugar and a little bit of butter. they were so addicting. One of the games we played was this one where there was this disk handed around and it had a different thing on it and the person that was holing it had to give clues as to what it was that was written o the disk. The person, or team that guessed correctly got a point. Our team lost, but it was still pretty awesome.
We were supposed to have a pool party today, but then a thunderstorm came, so we decided to just play games and hang out and stuff.  The thunderstorm was amazing though, it produced some of the coolest lightning I have seen in a long time. There were so many long ones this time, and we finally got some much needed rain.

Anyway, I guess this is all for now. I have pictures and stuff I want to show, but I'll do that tomorrow. I'm pretty wiped out. I can't believe I typed this much without falling asleep haha.

Insecure

Sometimes I get so nervous when people want to get close to me. I have never been all that popular, and some people think I'm a little different. I have noticed that a lot of people in the outside world tend to judge me a lot more than people on the net. Probably because the people that are on the net always see my personality first, and the people in the outside world tend to judge me by my looks and what I am like on the outside.  I don't talk a lot, hardly at all actually and I don't really just go up to people and hang out and stuff. It's just never been my style. I guess the way people act around me has given me a slight dislike for the outside world. I feel like if I show myself then I will be judged negatively. I am nowhere perfect and I know it. I have insecurities, things I worry about, things that make me nervous, and freeze and other stuff like that.

Some misconceptions people have about me pop up from time to time and it drives me crazy.  Like they think just because I have bad vision that I can't get around on my own or do stuff a lot of other people do. I may be legally blind, but do you see me wearing glasses, contacts, reading braille, etc? The answer is no. I am capable of doing almost anything a person with normal sight can do. It's just the way I adapted. I am not helpless and I can get around on my own, read regular print, go to movies, watch TV, and even on occasion I play sports with friends even though I'm not too good at them. I also have Nystagmus, it makes it so my eyes can't realy hold still. You wouldn't believe how many people have made fun of me in my lifetime. I couldn't even look at anyone in the face for years because I was so destroyed by their comments.

People assume that just because I go a little slower at school that I am dumb or something. It is nothing like that. I just like to go at my own pace, I don't go by what other people like. I am in no hurry and neither should anyone else in my opinion. I think we would all be a lot less stressed if we knew how to relax more.

And then there are the times when people judge me for my outward imperfections which is utter insanity. I don't have a perfect smile, I know I am missing a few teeth, but that is not my fault. I do wear 4 fake ones on the top, but that was out of my control and I wish people wouldn't judge me for it. I never bothered to replace the other two that are missing, you can't even see them.  I was just born without some of my teeth, just the 4 on top, and then the other 2 had to be pulled because I had weak enamel and they were having problems. I am missing some permanent teeth on top, but there is nothing I can really do about it. I used to be teased a lot about my smile. Lucky for me I still like to smile, even though I am still really self conscious about the way my teeth are. I usually never tell people this about me if they don't know just because it's caused me a lot of trouble in the past. People hurt me so badly that now I feel like if anyone finds this stuff out about me now that they will lose interest, or stop liking me, or be weirded out. It's really terrifying... really. I am just glad i still have most of my top ones, and all of my bottom ones.  I guess it could be worse.

Another stupid thing that people judge me for is my kind of deformed toe on the left foot. I was just born with it. I know it looks a little weird, but you can't really do anything about genetic deformations like that except for get surgery, which I will do some day most likely.

I am human, and I want to be loved just like anyone else. be careful how you treat people, you may effect them in a negative way if you are not careful. I try to hide my insecurities, but because I was tortured by people in my earlier years about my imperfections it's really secretly traumatized me. Traumatized me to the point where I am afraid to get close to anyone in fear that they will find out my imperfections. 

I wonder if anyone will be able to look past this. I really hope there is at least 1 person like that out there.

I also hate the misconception that people like me that are on SSI can't get jobs. That is definitely not the case for me.  I just don't have enough skills right now to be confident enough to get a job, plus it is hard for someone with vision problems to find jobs, and I am in school anyway, so I just ride with it. If I really had to get one I could get one somehow I'm sure, but for now I just live off of SSI for now.  I am very skilled in a lot of areas, I just need to learn a few more things, and improve my social skills.

My weight doesn't bother me that much, but sometimes people are a little picky about it. I am healthy, so I am not going to just go with what some people say and get paranoid about it. It is not that bad, I NEVER get sick at all, and I am very active and am losing it in my own time.

My speech isn't all that clear sometimes either. I work on it though. It's only this way because I don't talk a whole lot, or I didn't before anyway. I talk a bit more on videos and stuff, and I can already see an improvement. My mouth just got a bit lazy.

Anyway, these are the things I am most self conscious about and the things I wish people would look over more, or wouldn't judge me by. I was just thinking about this and had to write my thoughts down.

I'm sure there is someone out there who can look past my imperfections, but where that person is I have no clue.  I might even find more than one, I guess I will have to be patient.  **sigh**

I hope none of you think these things are weird haha. That would make me feel great. I never judge other people for their imperfections, or make fun of anyone, or anything like that. I guess because I know what it is like to be on the other side, what it feels like to be so different that you don't feel like anyone can accept you. :)

 

Passed Out

So I woke up around 9am. I got dressed, was kind of half asleep. I did not feel like getting up, but I did none the less. I opened my laptop and opened Pandora Radio, and played my Queen station. My sister made me a lunch for later, I had a protein shake for breakfast because I didn't feel like eating anything else for breakfast today. I took out the un-nessicary books that I would not need to carry out of my bag, except for my Astronomy book, I wasn't sure if I wanted to look that one over or not.  I talked to Ronnie a little before school, but not much.

I left for school around 10:20am. I was still feeling really tired about then. I got dropped off by my sister at the Institute of Religion building. There is a lot of construction going on over near where the building is, so it was pretty noisy. When I got into the building I had to look through the list of classes and choose a couple. I decided on the 11am Book of Mormon class, and the 12 noon Old testament class. Taking institute classes is pretty normal for people around here that are LDS, even some non LDS people take them. You don't really get credit for them, but they are usually pretty fun, have awesome teachers, and don't really have any work at all. You can just listen or whatever.

I have this tradition every first day and last day of Institute where I always buy a Red Cream Soda before class and drink it in my first class. The first time I did it it was kind of on a whim, but I decided to do it from then on. I don't usually drink that much soda, so it is that much better when I do. Red Cream Soda is my favorite carbonated drink.

Anyway, Both my classes went off pretty good, we were just introduced to the classes and the material we are going to be going over through the semester. We did some getting to know you stuff, had to fill out a few things, and other than that nothing really happened at my institute classes today. My teacher in the first class did tell some really good stories and was absolutely hilarious the whole time. I think I am going to have a lot of fun with my Institute classes.  We had name tags in my first one, I did my traditional thing and plastered stars all over it. haha.  I sent Ronnie a text  during my first class telling him when I would be available again, then went back to what I was doing.

I actually was supposed to go to a meeting with one of the councilors at the accessibility office around 11am, but totally forgot. Since I have pretty bad vision this is a regular thing every semester, they just make sure I have everything I need to be able to get through my classes okay. I only had to visit them probably like 4 times last semester. I am pretty independent and usually do not need help very often with my vision problems because I am so well adapted even without glasses or contacts.

I actually left half way through my 2nd institute class and made another appointment, and then came back to my 2nd Institute class after that.

After Institute I ate lunch. My sister packed me an Egg and cheese sandwich, a fruit cup, a nut bar, a juice box, and a V8. They were all pretty great. I was so full by the time I was done. I actually did a crazy thing and went ahead and bought a Sobe Lifewater after this, I have no idea why, I guess it is just a school habit.

I wandered around campus for a while, looking at the books in the bookstore, walking into the school store (the one that has the ice cream shop in it. I'll have to get pictures). and just looked around. I didn't do much besides eat lunch and wander around between classes. I actually went up to my Yoga classroom early because I had nothing better to do, and just played around with my phone for a bit taking pictures of stuff and playing games.

It was around 10 or 15 minutes later before everyone was there, the teacher arrived and we started things. I was kind of surprised by my teacher's appearance. I actually thought that it was going to be a Chinese guy because his name is Russ Lee.  I felt totally amused at myself after I saw that he looked like a blonde haired rock star. Long hair, cook beard, really in shape.  Not what I was expecting (I was expecting him to be in shape), but he is even more cool than what I expected. I can tell that I am going to have so much fun in Yoga. Today he just explained the details of the class since it was the first day of the class. We went over the syllabus and just got to know the different things we are going to get to do. He made it very clear that it is going to be hard, but I am fine with that. That is actually part of the reason I chose the class, the other ones being that I just love Yoga and wanted to learn it better, and because I thought it would help me be relaxed a little more and keep my mind off the stresses of my other classes. I took Pilates for these same reasons.

I took a picture of my school bag before my yoga class started.

Anyway, after my yoga class I went to go get my yoga textbook. The line this time was even longer than it was yesterday, and it was like a snake going all over the school bookstore. I was probably in line for like 20 minutes, seriously. I was glad to get it over with. I called my mom and she came and picked me up at the library after this.

We went to a local appliance and furniture store to look at new washers, ours is crazy and we need a new one because it doesn't even work properly. She was looking at washers and I just wandered around the store looking at everything else. They had tons of stuff, beds, desks, couches, living room sets, fridges, ovens, washers and dryers, you get the idea. Near the end of us being there I started watching "Beauty and the Beast" on one of their TV's. It just happened to be playing there.

When we were done there we went to a local mall and looked at some stuff like personal items, shoes, clothes, stuff like that. When we were looking at the shoes I found this really cute pair that I loved, but knew I probably shouldn't get because the heels were so high and it would kill my feet even though they looked so good. I think the heels must have been 4 inches tall. I felt a little crazy for liking them, but I just tried them on anyway and had fun walking around for like 2 minutes.  I took them off and put my regular shoes on after this. I didn't see any other shoes at the store we were at that I liked, not enough to try them on anyway.

We also looked for clothes for my yoga and Pilate's classes, but we didn't find any there that I liked.

We decided to go to the mall that is closer to our house. We went to Sports Authority and looked at all the different yoga pangs and shirts. I usually don't wear stuff that is really tight, but in Yoga and Pilates it is important that nothing can fall down or up. No one wants to show anything they don't want to show (like a shirt falling up if you are in one of the upside down poses), so we have to wear pretty form fitting clothing. I'm just glad I don't look too horrible in my spandex like pants and shirt. haha.

Anyway, after this we bough the stuff and went out for ice cream at a nearby ice cream shop.  I got a Mango Peach tart ice cream, swirled with a coconut ice cream. I put some extra coconut on it. My mom got a chocolate... something ice cream, don't remember what it was.  I really enjoyed my ice cream, it was fabulous. The coconut ice cream in it gave it an extra kick and made it taste even more awesome.

After this we went home. I logged onto Destiny Online after this.  I surfed the net for a while, checked xanga, and then passed out because I was so tired. I am actually typing this after midnight here, but I'll still go ahead and post it on the day I meant to. I am going back to sleep now, so I'll end here.  I actually typed part of this earlier before I fell asleep, but I couldn't finish it because I was practically sleep typing haha. I'm a little disappointed I did not get to talk to Ronnie more today.  I guess there is always tomorrow though. :)

First Day of School

So let me sum up my day for you. I went to my first class English, did one class and decided to take a different English class cuz I wasn't sure I could handle that one. The whole time I was in class I just had this nervous, uncomfortable feeling as we were goig over the syllabus. My teacher was pretty nice, but I could tell that that class wasn't going to be the one for me right now. I had to run around asking people if it would screw up anything to switch to the other class. (I was in English 990, but had to downgrade to 890). By the time I got everything figured out it was already 12:46 and my new English class is scheduled at noon. So, I missed the entire first day of my other English class. It took me a while to find the person that clearly explained everything to me, the others were like all so confusing. 

I was upset upset because I was planning on saving that hour for choir.  

I was feeling quite irritated. I then got lost on my way to Astronomy and got there late, had to sit on the floor because it was too dark to see if there was any seats left. My teacher just let me sit there. We took a short pre-test, and filled out a little sheet of info about ourselves. Right before lass I noticed that Darik had texted me, it kinda threw me for a loop, but i'll talk about that more later in my next "Twin Dilemma' part (Part 4)

I had an hour between classes after Astronomy and spent it talking to the teacher of the choir I WAS going to be in but couldn't because of my english conflict. I have Tuesday and thursday at noon open, but he said I couldn't take the class half of the time because it wasn't fair to those people who could take it every day. So I just ended up giving up on that idea of being in the show choir at the Institute of Religion.

After this I ate lunch, I had SubWay with a Mango Mandarin Sobe Lifewater. I then went to Pilates and nothing much happened besides the class was explained. I went to go buy my books from the bookstore after this and the line was SO FREAKING LONG, but I lived. I then called my dad and he picked me up. I just surfed the net on my iphone until he got there. 

Even though my day started out so crazy, I still think I am going to have a great time in school. 

After school I opened Destiny online and started the robot. The game has a training robot that makes it so you don't have to do all the grinding. 

I talked to my friend Ronnie for a while, but he had to go do some stuff with his computer and some other stuff. I actually fell asleep for like 2 hours while he was away. We have been talking for most of the evening. I met him on Destiny Online, he is a really awesome person. We just started talking to each other like last week a lot. We have known each other for a few years though. He is a really easy person to talk to, I really enjoy talking to him a lot. One of the days we talked we talked for 7 hours straight, like way past midnight, it was insane. 

Anyway, other than this nothing much has happened. I unwrapped my books and stuff and put them in my bag, ate dinner, and have just been watching movies, and listening to music and stuff. 

My friend Sarah mentioned this movie called "A Cinderella Story", I was interested and actually watched it. Not my favorite, but I guess it was decent. Sarah is another friend I met online, we are like super close. She is one of the very few people I actually talk to on the phone. I usually hate talking on the phone, but she is one of the very few exceptions. 

I know I haven't written for like 3 weeks, sorry about that. You don't have to worry about missing anything, I'll tell everything soon. I've pretty much organized everything inside my head so I can tell it properly. SO much stuff has happened since my last big post. 

Anyway, this is all for now. I have pictures and stuff I want to put up, but i'll add them tomorrow. :)

One more thing, I always watch this as a tradition  on the first day of school.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgUNSMCd3s8]

Magnifier

So 3 days ago I'm pretty sure, I bought my niece Minecraft. That is pretty much what i have been doing the past 3 days. I didn't post because I wanted to focus on helping her get around the game and getting to know how things work. She is very creative, and the update 1.3 now allows us to play on our own server using our LAN (Local Area Network). I knew as soon as this update came out I just HAD to get her an account.

I have been helping her learn how to do stuff like build bridges, houses, roads, tame and breed Ocelots and Wolves, and a lot of other stuff. I have been building a desert city that I will show you sometime soon. We have been using graph paper to plan out our creations. The first day I think we played for like 7 hours straight which was so crazy. We have been spending a lot more time together lately and it has been great. Natalie and Kayla have both enjoyed it. Kayla just usually sits and watches, but she still seems to have a lot of fun watching the stuff that goes on inside the game.

Other than this I have been just watching the Olympics. Well, more like listening more than watching, we get so into our game sessions when we play together it is crazy.

So onto the main subject here. For years I have refused to use any kind of magnifier when using the computer besides the one that you can use to magnify individual websites. I have had to bend over to read the stuff on my screen for years. Back when I had a desktop it wasn't as bad as it is now that I have a laptop because I could being my screen closer if it wasn't close enough. I was pretty determined never to use a magnifier. Yesterday I put my foot down though. After 8 months of having my laptop and having to constantly strain my eyes to see the screen I finally looked through the accessibility options and found the screen magnifier. I am now running on full screen magnifier and it is fabulous. I no longer get eye strain and I can now have better posture and be in a better and more comfortable sitting position. I now sit in a regular position and it is fabulous. Without magnification, even with my screen on the largest display I still have trouble seeing it clearly, so that is why I had to resort to the magnifier. I don't think I will ever go back now. The only times I don't use it is when I am playing games like Tetris , and Minecraft, looking at pictures, and watching videos on youtube. 

Anyway, the day is still young. i WILL update later if anything happens.

;)