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Saturday, October 19, 2019

Uncertain Ground

Work was alright today. I made a lot of ice cream and that helped the time to fly past. Usually I am horribly bored, so it's been a nice change making ice cream on the weekend. Before I was making ice cream on Tuesday mornings, waffle cones on Thursdays and I would help customers on Saturday. Saturdays can be busy, but not until after 2pm. I have liked the change the past two weeks, even if I have less hours. Right now I only do waffles on Thursday and ice cream on Saturday. I still get to help customers when I have the time of course. I'm also looking for another job, but that will take a while I think. I actually applied for Macey's grocery store late last night. I hope I get that cashier job.

We got a new manager a couple of weeks ago. His name is Heber. I don't know much about Heber yet and it makes me kind of nervous. I've had a bad manager before and every time I get a new one I'm always afraid history is going to repeat itself. Not knowing much about my new manager is uncomfortable. I hope I learn something new about him at our next work meeting. So far all I've deduced is that he is kind of strict, but that isn't very helpful. In fact is just makes me nervous. I am feeling very uncertain right now. I hope he turns out to be a good manager. He is my 4th manager. I can always quit if he turns out to be bad for me. I just have to keep reminding myself that. My mental health comes first. I've been working at Coldstone for too long anyway. I really need to write about my work history soon. It has been a crazy ride.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Ice Cream Overload

Yesterday I had work. I just made waffle bowls and cones. I was having anxiety for the first part of my day, so I was eager to get out of there.

I walked around the mall and went to Deseret Book just to look around. I also went to Farr’s Fresh ice cream and got a crazy concoction of flavors that were bizarre. I couldn't decide, so I got all the flavors I was interested in. The problem is that I got too much ice cream. The soft serve machines were kind of runny yesterday. I even got my hands sticky by trying to get samples. In the end I ended up getting grapefruit, lemon, caramel apple, and two other flavors that I have blanked out at the moment. I'll never try that again because it was really weird. Not all my crazy concoctions backfire on me, but that one sure did. I really do need to keep in mind how flavors work together.

I also ate out at a local Osaka Japanese Grill for lunch before work. I had rice, veggies, and a beef and meat combination. I was trying to eat healthy, something I sabotaged when I ate the ice cream after work. I also got a pretzel with cheese sauce after I ate ice cream. I spent way too much on food yesterday and now I regret that. It really was a waste of money. I only worked for an hour, so I could have waited until I got home. I don't think I'll ever do that again.

Today I was at the mall for most of the day looking around stores. I just hung out and went a bunch of random places including Michael's Craft Store, Best Buy, and Halloween Town which open every Halloween. I prefer Zurchers for my Halloween stuff, but Halloween Town can be nice to look at even if it is overpriced. I was around the mall for hours. I was waiting for my check to come, but the owner was late tonight and he still wasn't there by the time the bank closed, so I'll just get my check tomorrow. This means I am broke with only $15 to my name until Monday, which sucks. The owner never is that late, so I was and still am a little irritated. It's really uncomfortable having nothing to spend. Now I'm regretting buying two protein bars for lunch today. I was really hungry, and they were great, but that's just less money until Monday, oh well...

Anyway, I should have something else written soon. I just had to mention this stuff tonight. I have work tomorrow, so I'll probably have a lot to say tomorrow. I'm not really enjoying my job right now.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Play-Doh Numbers

When I was in the first grade we got help memorizing numbers by making them with Play-Doh. The thing that we did different though was that we baked those numbers in an oven we had in the classroom. I don’t know why we baked Play-Doh or if it’s even possible now, but I think it was so we could keep the numbers around. Maybe it was just for fun. I’m not sure, but I think we might have taken some home. Maybe not, but i don't know. It was such a long time ago. That memory is so vague I’m not sure. I remember thinking those oven baked numbers were so cool. I’d never done anything like that before, and I haven't done it since. That was a one of a kind experience. I also remember telling my family when I got home from school I think.

My teacher Mrs Ogden was kind of scary and strict, but she was determined to teach us. I give her credit for my ability to read. I was in a special ed class with about 7 other people. I had my first crush that year and I got in trouble a lot for looking at him. His name was Cameron. I saw Cameron 20 years ago when I was in summer school after the 5th grade, but that is a story for another time. Cameron moved away in the 1st grade and I didn't see him again until summer school that time.
The other memory that comes to mind is the time that we were memorizing the months of the year. Each of us took turns telling them to Mrs. Ogden and if we got it right we got an eraser that said a month of the year. I think mine said January.

So those are my most vivid memories from the first grade. if I remember any more I'll write about them in the future.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Lag Induced Transparency

Laura made some chocolate chip cookies yesterday. We also had a nice salad with some kind of vinaigrette dressing, nits, chicken, and probably something else, but I don't remember. I don't know if it sounds weird, but it was pretty good. The cookies we had after were very welcoming too.
Today I tried out the new OGX Tea Tree Peppermint conditioner I got yesterday. I also tried out some of this hair product I've been saving since before I cut my hair a year ago. Instead of typing out the name, I'll just leave a picture of it below. My hair wasn't long enough for a while to try it, but it is now. I blow dried my hair and it came out soft and smooth. I almost bought some other hair products, yesterday, but I'm glad I didn't waste the money. It seems like I don't need anything else after all. I don't know if it's because of the conditioner, the product, or both, but my hair doesn't have a ton of static like it did before.

Here is my hair today.
I have been using the OGX Coconut milk conditioner for a long time up until a few days ago. I ran out, and I've been using Garnea Fructis 2 in one Shampoo and Conditioner since then. It just doesn't do enough for my hair, so I had to buy a new conditioner.

Oh yeah, here is the other hair product I used today. I think I like it a lot.

I kept this in my hair stuff for a long time without using it. I think it's pretty cool now.

 This is the conditioner I got
I don't do much on Tuesdays anymore since I quit being scheduled. I guess my new manager just doesn't feel like a lot of people need to be scheduled on Tuesday anymore. I used to make ice cream on Tuesday mornings, but now I do it on Saturdays, and I help customers too. I made waffle cones and bowls on Thursdays. I didn't blog a lot after I started working at Coldstone Creamery, so not a lot has been said on here about my job. I'm going to do a job history post soon. It's been a wild ride, and it's worth writing about.

The most eventful thing to happen to me today besides a good hair day, was having to listen to Natalie go through her emotional problems and anxiety. She doesn't know how to control her emotions very well yet. She struggles a lot with some of the same issues I have like OCD, depression, anxiety, and PTSD which I can't relate to a lot. I've never had PTSD to my knowledge. Maybe a bit from losing friends, but she has it worse. I won't give any details beyond this because that would be rude. I just had to write something because it's hard to deal with sometimes and this blog is one of my coping mechanisms. She has a lot of negative energy sometimes and it gets to me. Sometimes I just want to tell her to shut up, but I know that isn't the answer at all, so I'll never do that. It's been a lot harder for her since she turned 18 as well. I know what it's like having a lot of doubts and being confused with adult life.

Heck, I'm still confused with adult life and I'm 30. Haha.

So, I won't say anything bad about her, even though she drives me nuts sometimes. The rest of my day wasn't too eventful. Everyone else went to a choir concert but Natalie and I. I stayed home and played games on Roblox. Yes, I am an avid player of Roblox. I love spending time on there. I have spent less time on there lately because I'm trying to spend less money. I love building houses in Bloxburg and supporting my favorite developers. Also, I struggle a lot socially and being able to spend time having fun in games helps me a lot. It’s simple, and helps me keep my mind off of negative things.

We had tacos for dinner tonight, and after I got on Roblox and my inernet was being stupid while I was trying to play Epic Minigames. Anyway, I had a really cool lag induced bug that made my avatar go transparent. I also got stuck in mid air.

After a few minutes and one disconnection my internet was fine again. I didn't end up playing for a long time. I got off to play some old DOS games on various websites. I played a little Skyroads, and some Ken's Labyrinth. I grew up in the 90's, so I love playing DOS games.

I'm currently watching YouTube videos. This is all for now.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Cleaning Up Digital Clutter

This week was a big week for cleaning up digital clutter. I managed to clean out a couple of YouTube channels and closed my wordpress blogs. I've decided that I don't need to have more than one blog, and I definitely don't need more than 2 YouTube channels. 

Of course, this means I'm going to have to go through my blog and fix the broken pictures and videos, but I'm okay with that. I'll get to that eventually though. 

I've been trying to take some pressure off of myself. Sometimes I expect too much of myself and end up spreading myself too thin. It's not healthy for me mentally or emotionally. Staying uncluttered and not trying to be everywhere at once helps me to not be so stressed. Also, I've been being careful to to be too obsessed with organization. Like for example, the first time I created a Pinterest account I stressed myself out by trying to over organize. I had to delete my account and start over again. I'm definitely organized with my current account, but not too organized.

Next I'm going to upload some of the videos off of my deleted YouTube channels to my main youtube channel. I have some editing to do on those though, so it's going to probably be a while.

I don't know when I'll finish all my plans, but I'll get to that eventually. I just have to be patient.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Snap Back to Reality

I was checking my wordpress to see if I forgot to post anything from there on here. Sometimes I don't feel like posting on here. I found this post from almost a year ago that talked about these two interviews I had last year in November.

One of them was at Dairy Queen, and the other was for Bath & Body Works.

The post said how confident I was about how I did for my interviews. I just HAD to write about this. I have a completely different view now. I did so many things wrong.

I had my Bath & Body Works interview after my Dairy Queen interview. I was so excited about my Bath & Body Works interview that I let myself get distracted. I think I might have even talked about it in my Dairy Queen interview which was stupid. Besides that blunder I came in looking like a mess to my Dairy Queen interview. Needless to say I didn't get the job at Dairy Queen. I couldn't have been more obvious that I wasn't really into working at Dairy Queen. To be honest, I was relieved. I don't really ever want to work with ice cream ever again if I can help it. That job wasn't a great fit for me.

I had my interview at Bath & Body Works a couple days after I think. I'm not entirely sure how far apart they were, or if they were on the same day. That part is a little fuzzy to me. I made sure I looked nicer than I did for my Dairy Queen interview and was pretty confident. I think that the reason I didn't get the job was because I didn't have enough sales experience. I don't know if I'll try again this year because I can't say I have any more sales experience than I had last year.

So, looking back on that was funny to me. I just had to write about it. It's amazing how much I have realized since last year. I still have a long way to go though of course. I got kind of a late start in the world of employment. I have no idea what I'm going to end up doing or even what I want to do right now. I'm sure I'll figure it out though.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Milestone

I'm turning 30 on Thursday. Now that I'm here I find it funny that so many people make a big deal out of being 30. Exiting my 20s isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be. You never realize how young you are until you get there. I'm still young, and even now I don't understand what it means to be an adult. There are a lot of adult experiences I've never been through. I've never had a boyfriend, I've never had an apartment, I've never had to pay my own taxes, etc. So am I grown up? In my opinion I am far from it. I don't really feel like I fit my age at all. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I'm sure I'll get there someday though.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Snoring Lions

My morning started out dramatic. There is a lion at Big Cat Rescue named Nikita. She hasn't been feeling good since yesterday. I just happened to wake up around 6am and checked Facebook. Instead of going back to sleep I ended up watching Nikita take a trip to the on site Cat hospital. She hasn't seen the vets since she arrived as a young cub after her rescue. Nikita is 18 years old, so it's been quite a while. She has been healthy enough up until now that she had no reason to see any vets at the on site hospital. She was checked from head to paws and she had X-rays done. They gave her an ultrasound too, and checked her teeth. Nikita has an abscess in one of her teeth. She has gone back home to her enclosure by now. I can't wait to see how she is doing later. 

The best part was when she scared the keepers and vets with her snoring when she was sedated. It sounded absolutely terrifying, and hilarious at the same time. Have you ever heard a snoring lion? I sure haven't until today. After Dr. Boorstein said it was safe, then they moved her out of her enclosure and to the on site cat hospital. I will post a video below if there is one available later. 

I did end up getting another hour of sleep somewhere between 6 and 10pm. I was pretty tired today though. 

I got a nap in after church. We were given chocolate by the men for Mother's Day. I'm still in a singles ward, but it's nice to be appreciated anyway. 


Mom made home made chicken, rice and broccoli bowls. You know, kind of like the ones you can get at Panda Express, only she did it from scratch. I also had a sweet potato. Dinner was awesome. 

I've been on Roblox today playing a game called Lab Experiment. I joined Roblox 2 years ago after I quit blogging for a long time, so I will have to explain that a bit. Not today though. I've written enough. 

Happy Mother's Day to everyone. I hope you all had a great day today. 
New blog design coming soon. 

Saturday, May 11, 2019

The Flowers at Temple Square

Yesterday mom, dad and I went up to Salt Lake City to go see a Tabernacle Choir concert featuring Brian Stokes Mitchel and the Utah Symphony. It was part of the celebration of the 150th celebration of the Golden Spike. I don't know much about that to be honest.






Mom was in the concert, because she is in the choir, but dad and I had some free time and walked around the City Creek Center and ate some dinner. I went to kneader's and he went to Costa Vida which was nearby. I got a chicken pesto panini that came with Parmesan chips. I also got a fruit tart, which was amazing, and a little package of macarons, which to be honest didn't impress me much. They must have been cheap macarons. We didn't see very many shops, but we did get to look around the Microsoft store. That was a store I chose. I saw this huge $4000 surface screen that was 28 inches long. I'm pretty sure it is meant for art, architecture and other careers having to do with design. I've never seen one in person until yesterday, so it was cool finally getting to play around with that. It reminds me of a huge tablet. I can see why it is great for design.

I got to walk around Temple square a bit and take pictures of some of the flowers. I'd like to come back sometime and get even more pictures. My time was limited, so I couldn't get them all.













Here is a random picture I took when dad and I were walking around the Conference Center to pass time.


The concert was enjoyable. Dad and I gotin our seats and hour and a half early at 6:30pm because that is when they open the doors to the Conference Center. We were actually first in line at door 9. I fell asleep in my chair for a while after I sat down. It really si better to get seats earler, because you get better seats in your assigned section. Because of my nap I didn't have to waste much of my already low phone battery thankfully.

We got home around 10:30pm I think. It might have been later. I just played games for the rest of the night before I went to sleep.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Rainbow Haired Angel

A few day ago I got my angel accessories at Zurchers. I think it’s a party store, but I’m not sure because that was only the 2nd time I’ve been there. The first was when I was with Laura and one of my nieces getting their Halloween costumes.

I also got a rainbow wig to go with my angel accessories and today I got white fishnet gloves as an extra accessory.




My wig was pretty cool, but I sometimes forget just how itchy these cheap wigs can be.

I didn’t go anywhere special today. After I went to Zurchers, Laura and I bought Halloween candy at the store. I got airheads and Reese’s candy, and she got a few other things. Not much happened after this. I just stayed at home, helped make sugar cookies with Laura, helped hand out candy to trick or treaters, and listened to Halloween music.

I did play some Roblox and Minecraft. I also watched some YouTube videos.
The sugar cookies turned out perfect. Laura is great at gluten free baking. We decided not to frost them after they were done.

Friday, October 12, 2018

My Pixie Cut Is Back

Long story short, I cut my hair.





I’ll be honest. There is some regret. I’m not too worried however, because my hair grows pretty fast. I do like my pixie cut, but I don’t think I’ll keep it.
I made the mistake of trying to ignore my hair the whole time I grew it out. Because I did that I never got used to it. I ended up just getting annoyed with it in the end, so I’m starting over. I’m going to make sure to have fun with my hair this time around.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Long Time No See

I've been putting too much pressure on myself to find the perfect place to write. I really do miss Xanga a lot nowadays. Blogger is cool, but I had an audience on Xanga and the people were cool. I tried writing on Medium, but I think the audience is more professional than I am comfortable with. Wordpress is cool, but moving my stuff from here to there would be a pain and I no longer fancy the idea of starting my blog over. I suppose I should just be grateful for what I have. Perhaps I've been greedy. I just really like having and audience, that is all. I could move to Tumblr, but that would be no less of a pain than Wordpress. Also, I still hate Tumblr and it's populated by a lot of creepy people that I wouldn't want reading my stuff.

Guess I'm stuck here. I'm back by the way. Haha.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Post School Laziness

I will admit it right off the bat. It takes me longer to do some things than a lot of other people. For the past 10 years I have been chipping away at school. Some semesters I got straight A’s and others I’ve just flat out failed everything. This semester I got a C+, a C- and an E which is a failing grade.

Despite this imperfection of mine, I am very glad that I’ve been pushing through. University life is often compacted into 4 years. I’ve always known that couldn’t be me.

I work at my own pace, and that is okay. Life shouldn’t be hurried along, it should be enjoyed. I’m going to have to still finish my English and Math classes, and my psychology core classes. I know I’ll finish with time, so I’m not worried.
One thing I’m immensely grateful for is that I did not end up on academic probation after this semester. That is a pain to deal with. I have yet another chance to achieve a good standing, and I am optimistic about this. Academic probation is a pain because you have to do paperwork, academic counseling, and you are barred from financial aid until you do those two things. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that again. I’ve dealt with it before. I hate having to explain to people why I fail and why they should believe I’ll never do it again. My life is complicated. I’ll probably do a post on when I got academic probation sometime anyway though some time in the future. That is a pretty interesting story.

I’m going through my post school laziness, so I haven’t been writing. I don’t really feel like doing anything after a hard semester. I know if I go to long without writing I’ll regret it in the long run however. So, here I am. Have you ever had one of those days where even writing a Facebook post feels like you are dragging around a stone? It doesn’t have to be Facebook by the way. I was writing something yesterday on Facebook and I just wanted to backspace and quit so much, but I pushed through it. This is often what writing is like for me after a hardship. Like I said above, this one is after school.

I’m not going to write much today. I knew I had to write something though. You should read my previous posts. If you are reading this in the future, my new posts too. I’m not the best writer in the world, but I do what I can.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Ball & Chain

Depression is a real drag. (No pun intended.)

The truth is, it’s hard for me to do anything most of the time. It varies in intensity from day to day; but I usually suffer from a chronic case of laziness and lack of motivation.

When I say it effects everything, I mean everything. It’s really rare for me to be able to focus on anything. Things that I can focus on are hard to start as well. I rarely ever start things purely on my own motivation. A good example is crochet. I can crochet for hours, but it’s rare for me to start purely on my own. I love art related activities in general. I usually have encouragement from another person when I get around to them. Even then, it is very hard for me to start. Almost everything makes me feel like I’m dragging a ball and chain around.

Homework is hard to do. Well, I guess that is an under statement. I grew up with various people helping me do my homework up until college. I really doubt I would have gotten as far as I did through high school and before without that help. I think my worst year was the 6th grade. I actually don’t know how I got out of it. It’s a miracle they didn’t hold me back. I did literally almost nothing in that year.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t have a solid form of depression back when I was in grade school. I was probably more lazy than depressed. I feel like I was better at doing things that required me to memorize a lot of info. I think things were less of a drag to me back then. My first year of college after things started going downhill with my best friends my depression started kicking in. I completely bombed my first year of college after high school. I mean straight across the board E’s. I had no motivation to really try and I had no clue what I wanted to do for a career at all. I was paralyzed mentally and couldn’t unfreeze myself. The college was even kind enough to let me repeat my first semester, but I couldn’t do it. I had no discipline. I took 3 years off after that and it’s been an on and off struggle when it comes to motivation ever since I returned to school. I also have a huge problem with procrastination. No doubt caused by my lack of motivation.

I know very well that it is impossible to get anything done when you are waiting for the perfect opportunity to come around. That perfect mood so many of us are waiting for is a fantasy. That opportunity will almost never come around. The sad fact is that you have to push through it, and that can feel nearly impossible sometimes. The fact that I haven’t failed every semester will tell you that I am in fact capable of working hard. I have pushed through before. Like I said, it’s hard for me to start stuff, but once I get into things I can usually stick with a lot of things and pull through if I know how. In school I don’t always know how, and that has a real impact on my motivation, and of course my performance. Stuff like writing large papers, and any form of math or hard thinking in general is really hard for me to push through. I’ve had to face failure quite a few times because a lot of the time I just can’t bring myself to do hours of homework a lot of the time.

The few times I have managed to push through that stress were some of the most rewarding in the end though. Though, the effort made me feel like I was slipping into insanity in some cases while I was working. The things that confuse me are usually the things that end up causing me the most trouble. Procrastination and I are best friends too often. When I defeat procrastination, it feels great.

Enough about school for now. I will get more into that in another post.
Believe it or not, I even struggle with fun things. I have this really big problem with skipping through things. I skip through books, I skip through music, and I even skip through Netflix shows. Sometimes I am just to eager to get to the point and find out what is going to happen. This is also one of the side effects of when I fail. When my lack of motivation, laziness, and procrastination end in failure; I am often a little too eager to get back into fun. I then end up becoming impatient and try to hurry through that fun. I am in a hurry with a lot of things. That probably doesn’t help my motivation.

I’m not impatient with everything mind you. I’m actually extremely patient with a lot of things and in a lot of situations. I’ll elaborate on that some other time.

Relationships are mostly out of the question for me. Most of the time I have very little or no motivation to socialize. Even when I want to, the drag I feel is nearly impossible to resist. It’s rare for me to want to spend time with people and to be honest, I don’t really enjoy the process of making friends. I’d rather just keep the ones I already have most of the time. Sometimes I meet people I want to be friends with, and even talk to a lot; but that is very rare. I hardly ever talk to anyone except for people online. Random people, not friends. I don’t even talk to my family that much to be honest. The time and effort it takes to make relationships drags me down a lot and I’m kind of awkward. I value relationships I do make so much that it hits me extremely hard when I lose them. It’s hard for me to relate to a lot of people and I’m not particularly knowledgeable in anything. I get so confused when trying to form new relationships that my anxiety kicks in and I end up having to give up a lot of the time; on a lot of non family relationships. I don’t even have the motivation to talk to my best friends.

When I find a guy I like it’s a bit different, but I think I should talk about that in a separate post.

This might sound weird, I don’t know. The things I usually want to do the most are sometimes just as hard to do as the things I don’t want to do. Like what I said above about art. I always want to do art related stuff, but it’s so hard for me to actually start and do it. I don’t particularly dislike learning or even being social. It’s just very hard to navigate the difficulty, confusion and my lack of motivation. I should probably mention that I hate cooking. I eat pretty healthy despite that fact. One thing I do have a lot of motivation and respect for is staying healthy. You only have one body and you should take care of it. I highly encourage people to prioritize health. Not just physical health, but mental health and if you are spiritual, spiritual health too. Those make up your entire life.

Anyway, I think my brain is trying to quit now. This was really hard for me to write. I knew I absolutely had to push myself however. I try extra hard with certain things like this, and my French study. I’ve actually made improvements in both. Also, this might surprise you, but exercise is one of the things I have the least amount of struggle with. Well, maybe not, considering what I wrote above. I still have to push myself, but I’ve managed to become better about fitness. That is a huge triumph for me. I used to never exercise.

I am slowly learning to push through things. I still have a long way to go with everything though.

Grammar advice and corrections are welcome on anything I write. I am no pro at writing. I just love to write.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I Hate Papers

Let me tell you a bit about my struggles in school. I’ve had plenty of hard times while attending University. I’ll just stick to this semester though for this post. This semester I am taking Ethics & Values, Nutrition, and English. I got off to a wrong start from the beginning.

My Ethics & Values Class is a lecture class. We have lectures on Mondays and Wednesday’s and then on Fridays we split up and each of our groups is lead by a Teachers Aid. In these class sections on Fridays we go more in depth with what we learned earlier in the week. Rather than just listening to lecture we get to give our opinions as well and sometimes debate. The class is built around learning about different philosophers. We have different readings from these philosophers every week or so. We have had a few papers, and I’m working on my final one. The tests are on what we have learned during the lectures.

Nutrition is a class I chose to take online. It’s basically a lot of reading, quizzes and a few tests. I’ve had to try and retain a lot of info. I’ve never even met my professor. He looks pretty athletic from the photo he sent us though.

My English teacher is pretty old fashioned. He doesn’t allow technology in class and has made us learn how to research topics offline in the library. Most of the class is built around service learning. So I did 20 hours of volunteer work at an elementary school library. I might go back during the summer and do more. Our main research topic revolves around our volunteer work. I was going to research child literacy, but I got behind this semester and have had to give up on English. It took me too long to find a volunteer job to do so by the time I found one I was already very behind. The class is basically just volunteer work, grammar presentations, papers, and reading. It might sound easy, but for me, if I had tried to pass I would have failed my other two classes. That is my biggest reason for giving up.

Just my other two classes alone have hours of reading. A few weeks ago I read 8 chapters in my text book for my 2nd nutrition exam. In the space of 4 days I did over 20 hours of reading. It was at that time I realized I couldn’t pass my English class. On a stage it takes me around 2 and a half hours to read a chapter from my nutrition textbook. It takes a couple more hours to read the material from just one philosopher from my Ethics and Values class. Plus I have all the lectures recorded and have to review those.

I’m still not sure if I will pass anything at this point. There is so much info I have to remember.

I am working on studying for finals the last two weeks. I will never forget how a bunch of papers in English class nearly sunk me in every class. I hate papers, I really do.

Anyway, I will update on my school situation at the end of the semester. I have other things I need to write about. I feel too scatterbrained to ramble on about this stuff right now.

I guess for now I'm alright with posting whatever I post on my Wordpress blog on here.