My social dynamic has gotten all messed up over the past 15
months. After I lost the friendship of someone I liked at the beginning
of last year things got weird.
I’ve never had a problem with being alone so far as I can remember up until that point. I used to think of myself as an introvert. I thought of myself as one for years. Even a loner sometimes, but not always. Now I hate being alone. I used to spend a lot of my time alone. I don’t interact and do stuff with people very much outside of the internet and I’m still pretty quiet, but I hate being alone now. Just so you know, I consider myself to be an ambivert now. An ambivert is in the middle of being and introvert and an extrovert.
I’ve noticed I usually won’t even play single player games like Minecraft anymore because I have to be alone in the normal non multiplayer modes. Games like Portal and Portal 2 are alright because at least I’m talked to. I’m still adjusting to my social changes and it can be hard. Honestly, I don’t have much of a social life. It’s been like this ever since I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago. I’ve made online friends, but we don’t talk or hang out in games or anything much anymore and like I said before, I don’t talk much. Also, making new friends causes me extreme anxiety and discomfort. Mostly because I tend to make a lot of mistakes. I’m pretty awkward sometimes.
I had great friends growing up, so it’s not like I don’t like people. I just don’t click with people often. Forming relationships is hard for me. I guess it’s going to take time to adjust to my social changes. It’s been a long time since I hung out with anyone. Maybe I should just embrace my new gravitation toward being social. And I say new gravitation because earlier in life when I was social I didn’t have this much of a need for it. I’ll just stick to being around people for now, just as a start. I probably shouldn’t pressure myself to interact and talk beyond just hanging around for the time Being. I had close friends, but I’m super rusty when it comes to making new ones. I’ve kind of forgotten how to form close relationships.
Anyway, I’ll figure this out. It’s just weird since I’m not used to not wanting to be alone. It’s a weird adjustment. Even back when I had close friends I often required a good amount of alone time. I still get worn out by being around people, but I can’t really say I always dislike it all the time. In fact, a lot of the time now I’m okay with it. Being around people can be a lot of fun, even when it’s tiring.
I’ve never had a problem with being alone so far as I can remember up until that point. I used to think of myself as an introvert. I thought of myself as one for years. Even a loner sometimes, but not always. Now I hate being alone. I used to spend a lot of my time alone. I don’t interact and do stuff with people very much outside of the internet and I’m still pretty quiet, but I hate being alone now. Just so you know, I consider myself to be an ambivert now. An ambivert is in the middle of being and introvert and an extrovert.
I’ve noticed I usually won’t even play single player games like Minecraft anymore because I have to be alone in the normal non multiplayer modes. Games like Portal and Portal 2 are alright because at least I’m talked to. I’m still adjusting to my social changes and it can be hard. Honestly, I don’t have much of a social life. It’s been like this ever since I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago. I’ve made online friends, but we don’t talk or hang out in games or anything much anymore and like I said before, I don’t talk much. Also, making new friends causes me extreme anxiety and discomfort. Mostly because I tend to make a lot of mistakes. I’m pretty awkward sometimes.
I had great friends growing up, so it’s not like I don’t like people. I just don’t click with people often. Forming relationships is hard for me. I guess it’s going to take time to adjust to my social changes. It’s been a long time since I hung out with anyone. Maybe I should just embrace my new gravitation toward being social. And I say new gravitation because earlier in life when I was social I didn’t have this much of a need for it. I’ll just stick to being around people for now, just as a start. I probably shouldn’t pressure myself to interact and talk beyond just hanging around for the time Being. I had close friends, but I’m super rusty when it comes to making new ones. I’ve kind of forgotten how to form close relationships.
Anyway, I’ll figure this out. It’s just weird since I’m not used to not wanting to be alone. It’s a weird adjustment. Even back when I had close friends I often required a good amount of alone time. I still get worn out by being around people, but I can’t really say I always dislike it all the time. In fact, a lot of the time now I’m okay with it. Being around people can be a lot of fun, even when it’s tiring.
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