the Rain

So its raining right now. I feel sort of gloomy at the moment because no one is here, or they're asleep and I don't know they're here. I feel sorta sad right now. I spent my first night ever alone, it was weird. both my brother and sister weren't home yesterday. I think my brother is here right now but I'm not sure. My parents are on a 2 week trip so its just my brother and my sister and me at the moment. 

I cooked my fist pizza in the oven yesterday it was pretty good. I've never cooked anything in the oven before, my parents always cooked for me but since they're not here I have to do it. 

I'm sorta lonely right now but I don't want to draw attention to it or tel anyone near me how I feel I just feel like it'll become a bother.

Cookies

So my mom decided to make home made cookies before i went to church. I hadn't eaten anything pretty much before church yesterday, so when i got home after church i had something to really look forward too. she made Oatmeal raisin, and chocolate chip cookies they were great. 

We had macaroni and cheese (home made) as well yesterday

don't you just love little things like that?

Prelude to Desaster

A prelude to disaster.
These chains appearing faster.
Fire engulfing my soul
Shattered into a million pieces
this broken mirror, this shattered dream
The Earth crumbles beneath me
darkness surrounds me
no more rainbows, no more rain
Just sadness, drought and pain
this is the end the pinnacle of sadness
hear me cry, hear my pain, my cry
i hold my hand back from you
afraid that i will curse you to the same fate
its to late for me too late
this is the prelude to disaster
hatred growing faster
this dragon slowly rising up out of our souls
Sword nor shield will ever penetrate its heart.
where is our hope, our white song
I will keep listening for the angels
Prelude of disaster.

My Mom is Making Soup!

this is for all those people out there who have moms that cook really well like mine.

Don't you just love it when she cooks? I love it when my mom cooks. I have a lot of good memories of stuff she and my dad have cooked in the past. My dad is a good cook as well. I think parents cooking stuff for their children that is really good is a great benefit in a family. Its nice to give your kids some good memories like that. I love my memories. 

My mom is making this really good soup "Chicken and Dumplings' soup its so good! She's been making it every since I can remember I love it so much. There are so many great things in it. I love the dumplings though those are great.

There's this other thing she made yesterday (Chicken and Broccoli casserole) That's so great. it has chicken and broccoli and cheese sauce stuff, and you have it with rice. 

Cream tuna and eggs over rice is good as well. Its basically tune, eggs, and cream of chicken soup, and rice. I've always loved that. 

Those are just a few things that she has made that I rally like.

My dad makes really great chicken, and really great steak. (Mmm)

I'll put a picture up later maybe of the soup.

Wedding!

 

That's a picture of my brother's wedding cake, I'm not going to put pictures of them up for privacy purposes though.

The wedding was held in an LDS temple so i didn't get to see them get sealed (married), I'm not allowed to enter that part of the temple yet. 
Anyway so I sat there for an hour or so then they came out, we took a ton of pictures! It was a lot of fun but it was a little cold. After we took pictures we went out to eat at "Los Harmonos" a very popular Mexican restaurant in our area. I had a chicken burrito with rice and beans, and a tropical drink, it was great!. 
My sister, her fiance, and my brother (other one), went out to the party store after the lunch and we got stuff to decorate my brothers car with after the reception. 
I was home after that for a bout 2 hours.
I went to the reception, basically its just a bunch of people stand in line and greet the bride and groom, have cake, and other refreshments, get to talk to each other, etc. I don't really remember what kind of cake and ice cream they had there but it was pretty good! OH! look I have a picture  


 

 

 

the drink was limeade (I love that stuff)



From left to right:
chocolate candies with raisins in the middle
nuts
various chocolate candies.

it was great as you can see

My feet hurt so badly by the end of the reception from wearing my annoying shoes all day. I'll take a picture of the dress I was wearing later. It was pretty fun, my sister's purple hair went well with the colors ha ha. 
I  am so glad I brought my camera so I could show you.

After  the reception we got to say goodbye to them, blow bubble,s pop balloons, and stuff like that. 
After we got home we got undressed and got into more casual clothes.
We went and saw the new Star Trek movie after. It was pretty nice.
After I got home i finished some of my leftover food from "Los Harmonos" and played Destiny Online for a while.

We're going to be opening their presents today. I'm excited.

Where I Would Like to Live

so I've been thinking about the kind of place i would WANT to live at. I've come up with a pretty good description.

I know this is a sort of unrealistic description but...

The place where I want to live would be right by a crystal blue lake, surrounded by mountains, the weather would always be warm. My house would be a small yellow cottage, with 2 bedrooms, a kitchen , a living room, and a  laundry room. My house would be surrounded by trees of all sorts, i would have  back yard surrounded by a white fence, it would have a garden, and a trampoline. That's all i want. 

you know that scene in "Howl's Moving Castle' when they go "Star Lake" that is sort of like my ideal place to live. Its absolutely beautiful!

Also, this place here I would love to live at. 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnfrisch/1816240430/sizes/o/

I think thats a pretty good description. :smile:

When Xangans Just Fade Away...

So I just got done cleaning out my subscriptions of people that haven't been active for a while.

it made me sad as I looked at the blogs of people I used to read everyday but they just disappeared and faded away like a picture on the sandy beach.
'
I've allays hated to see people go, fade away and never come back. 

I can't imagine ever leaving Xanga or just going inactive or just stopping my blogging. No matter how long I have been gone in the past I allays come back. I've had my inactivity streaks here and there. My longest was my recent one when i just quit blogging for 2 months and it just hit me how much I misses Xanga. It just didn't feel the same at all. 

I still have this un-easy feeling in my stomach from seeing all those blogs that have been deserted, left behind, etc.

Spring is here!!

I'm so excited! I just love spring and summer they are my favorite times of the year. I can't wait to go outside and take walks again. Its so pretty here in the spring and summer I love it a lot.

I've always loved going outside, It'll be nice to get away from the game I've been playing and go swimming, and running, and stuff like that. I can also do my yoga outside which will be better since its a better open environment than my room. My floor is too cold and hard. 

I used to go take walks every day around the neighborhood but then it got to cold and I've been inside ever since. Can't wait until we start out garden and stuff its going to be great!

My brother also gets married this week, I hope the weather stays nice.

Looking forward to the future so much, this is the best time of year. Our roses are going to start blooming in the summer and stuff, they're so pretty!

I see spring and summer as a time for inspiration, a time when you can get out of your normal routine and get int something new and better, it is a perfect time for starting something new and fresh!

Nothing

My life just seems a little pointless right now. I'm not going to school, I'm not going to work, I'm just staying at home playing games on the computer.

I can't drive so i can't go anywhere, the only place i have to go is the fantasy world where I am a hero, Destiny Online is the only thing i have right now which is a total drag. All i do all day is just play and play and play. I feel like I'm doing something, like I'm accomplishing something in that game, I feel like I'm worth something. If i strip if all down however, if the game were to be shut down, it would have been all for nothing. 

So sad when you're life may be shut down someday. So sad when your life is a game, when your life is at the mercy of a group of people that control everything, create everything, etc. (isn't life sort of like that?)

My life is pretty pathetic, I could be doing housework all day but that just isn't worth it for me, I want something more, I want to become the best at something, and the only way i can do that is by playing this game right now. I have no way of going back to college right now. 

That is how i feel right now. I have no friends to hang out with (nor do  want anyone to hang out with in real life because its just a bothersom nuisance because I'm used to being alone). 

That is how i feel.

Botting in Games is Stupid

So i've been playing this game called "Destiny Online" for a few months now. Anyway, so they just introduced this new bot feature to the game today and there is this huge uproar about it and people are leaving and freaking out.

What I'm wondering is 'What is the point of this?" the whole reason of playing a game is the PLAY! Not to just sit back and just watch as someone else or something else does everything for you.

this is an attribute of the real world i hate. We are all getting used to other people or things doing everything for us. It would be nice if we could keep that form happening in games. After all games are supposed to be fun and we are supposed to play them. Making a legal bot in game just doesn't make sense, people will probably just go AFK the whole time now.

I'll say it again. What is the flipping point of a game if you don't play it? there isn't a point to it anymore.

games aren't about the level you're at. But when you bot, or when you introduce a legal bot into the game you're practically saying "Leveling is all that matters screw playing, this game is just about leveling".  that is what it speaks, and it also tells that the quality of the game is so poor that you need bots in order for people to play it, so pathetic. If the game is even worth playing people will play it, through grind, or whatever. 

don't get desperate, don't do something stupid like this.

I have no idea what they are thinking, such a stupid idea.

blogging Sins... Haha.

whats that you say?  (joke post lol)

I have probably committed every blogging sin there is since my last set of posts on February 13th ha ha. 

Blogging sins:
I did not post for more than a week
I did not even check the blogs I've been following
did not think of the feelings of my audience since i last blogged
Did not think about blogging in general
Did not update my Twitter page  (yeah the world has caved)
Did not blog about all the deep thoughts I've been having, ideas, experiences, etc.

*laugh*

I think you get the idea what a blogging sin is now. Just something i thought up out of nowhere i think its funny.

Blogger's Hell: 
A place where there are no words, no one speaks, no one can write, use your imagination for the rest of eternity

GAMES ARE EVIL! They will take you away from your precious blog! don't give in don't give in!     
Avoid anything that will take you away from your precious world of blogging because it is #1, everything else sucks just remember that.   

Okay have to stop now I'm sort of busy right now, I'll probably do a second part on this.  ha ha.  :p

PANCAKES!!... and more Pancakes.

So i had pancakes for breakfast and lunch,   My dad makes the best pancakes and waffles. He doesn't use the stuff from the box or whatever, makes them from scratch, home made and they are SO good!

i remember having them for as long as I can remember, I love the memories of waking up to home made breakfast its one of my favorite memories and I'm glad I can sill have that. My family is so classic, and so kind, I have the best family. I don't think i would really fit anywhere else.

We have always kept tons of pictures. I have this huge photo album of pictures of just me when i was little, I can tell that they really love me. Its a little hard for me to show my live sometimes, I'm not a very mushy person. Its sometimes hard for me to say "I love you", that kind of stuff.

I think if everyone had a family like mine this world would be less chaotic and in so much distress like it is now. The way you grow up is very important, I've come to see that throughout my life.

Dark and Light

Selfish.

A post from the negative me.

I admit that i am very selfish, and there you have it.

I haven't been around very many people my whole life, I am used to doing things for myself, having people do things for me, but i have never been able to get used to doing things for other people and frankly i just don't want to. I would rather be left alone, I don't want to be pressured.

Even when i don't mean tot be selfish that is the way it turns out, i don't want to babysit, i don't care if their crying, i just want to be by myself, i my room, on my computer, playing my game with my online friends. I don't are what i happening i want no part in it at ALL!

Posative me: 

But at the same time i do want to do things for others I am just scared, i don't know what to do or say, i don't know what to give the person, i don't now what they need, i feel so useless because i want to do things for people but cant, I'm so introverted and don't know how to come out of my shell.

I had this case o this game that i am playing where I joined a tribe and then left the tribe in the game just because i was curious about the other tribe that i was curious about, Anyway so they all hate me now and want to see me dead in the game, they spread rumors about me and stuff (they are stupid), they talk behind my back, etc. I never realized how selfish i was being until just 2 days ago when i left another tribe because of my best friend in the game, i realize i was at fault because i shouldn't just pay attention to 1 persons feelings, i should think about how it effects other people, and the tribe as well which isn't what I've been doing. Anyway so everyone in that tribe hates me now as well. 

I know i really should stop this.

See where my predicament is? See my two sides?

BORED!!!

I dun feel like playing the game right now, I just feel like blogging haha. Its been a while since I've wrote anything.

My brother is getting married on the 8th of May I'm so excited. I've known the person hes marrying since childhood. I think she and I will become great friends. I'm going to the bridal shower today, can't wait to see what she gets. Even more i cant wait until i get to have my ow wedding wooooo! <3

That's not even near though seeing as I've never taken interest in anyone *laugh*.

I've been just playing that game I've been playing since January (Destiny online) but sometimes i get really bored with it or frusterated because of all the drama that goes on. I have a ton of friends on that game now. I've even goten to the point where i don't like to log out (crazy huh?), yeah but on that game being an addict is something that people cheer for its so funny. I am a full fledged Destiny addict and there is no use denying it seeing i couldn't stand even being logged out for 12 hours that one time i tried to quit *laughs*. 

RAWR!!! My mom opened my window again, don't you hate that feeling when you have your window open and you feel like someone is watching your every move? that's why i usually keep mine closed all the time and the blinds down and the curtains shut. 

My room is messy again *laugh* i need to clean it again so badly.

I'm so glad the weather is getting nicer again! I hate winter! (don't know how many times I've told you that but you probably already know). 

Anyway I'll write something later, and i think I'll make it a point never to log out of Xanga when I'm playing my game because i usually have a ton to think about when I'm playing. *laugh*

Oh and hi to all the people on facebook that are probably going to be reading this *laugh* I like this new xanga feature!

I've Finally gotten into Something.

I've been waiting for it to happen and it has. I have finally gotten really into something. Sorry I've been absent because of it.

Okay so there is this game called "Destiny Online' it just got out of open beta on Jan 13th. This game is so amazing. If you like cute 3D graphics in a 2D game you should try this out. The game itself has been very underrated by everyone, those who actually try it usually like it. I've been playing this game for 2 months now and I am still into it. It might not be your thing but i would try it. The people are nice, there are a ton of quests, etc. 

I've never been much of a person for MMO's but this satisfies me all the way for some strange reason. 

Anyway so that explains my utter disappearance from Xanga. I have bee playing this game every day for the past 4 or 5 weeks. Before that i wasn't so active but then i decided i would try to really get into it and it worked. I am still not bored which is a rare thing for anything i do. I usually get bored of everything. 

Anyway so I'm going to try to get back on track ha ha.
I did think about Xanga while i was gone and I've been meaning to come back.
Its been so strange for me to not blog its such a huge part of my life.