Around September I wrote a previous post about my cane, so I decided to put part 2 on the title. ( I completely forgot about my other post until i was looking through my posts haha.)
So if you read my last post, (not septembers post but the one I did yesterday), you know my vision sucks and that I sometimes use my White Cane. Mine is a folding cane, it's just likea regular cane only it folds into 5 pieces. I have been familiar with canes ever since I was in the 2nd grade, we were given canes to use back then and I used mine sometimes but not often. I went through this really super long phase where I refused to wear glasses or use my cane unless if I was out with my other visually impaired friends or with my blind friends. I was no stranger when it came to this kind of attitude, I have memories clear back to when I was 3 years old and even back then I refused to wear glasses. I have this thing about being independent, and self suficent, and I hate looking weak or helpless in front of people.
As I got older, toward my high school years I started to realize that it would actually help if I used my cane in situations. For those of you that read my last post you know the reason why I don't wear glasses. I didn't know this reason though, back in my high school years it was just because I wasn't used to them, and I hadn't worn them for so long it was weird whenever I did. I didn't have a solid reason back then.
Now, 3 years after I decided to take a break from college and straighten things out, fix my many problems and get my life together I am just now understanding. I am realizing like I said in my last post that while the glasses do not help that much besides when I watch TV, movies, or play video games, my cane does help a lot.
I have brought my white cane to various places before and I was a little nervous, but it turned out fine. Now that i am planning on using it all the time I have had to build up my confidence and courage a lot. You might think that making the decision to use my white cane is an easy one, but really it is not that easy. I am not the only one that suffered with the hardships that go with this decision. Almost everyone that I know that has denied that they needed the can for years but ended up using it had to go through a few things. First of all some of the people had to get their families to accept their new found can usage. I've never had trouble with this my family is very accepting, so no trouble with that one. Then there is another one where you have to overcome the nervousness around your friends. I told my friends about my cane and I am currently working on this one, it doesn't cause me too much anxiety, because I know those people, it is kind of hard to use it around them though after not using it for so long. I am working through this one very well. Then you have to learn how to deal with every day people. I don't mind it when people ask me if I need help, or if they can ask me questions. The thing that bothers me about this one is when people just look or stare at me. I am not accustomed to attracting a lot of attention and so it makes me very uncomfortable, it's very nerve wracking.
I am working on getting over this, but I never realized it to the full extent until I went to Costco today and it was busy and I had people staring at me and glancing at me, it was really uncomfortable. I don't like drawing attention to myself so it was extremely weird. I think this will be my greatest challenge, just getting used to people looking at me when I use my cane. I'm so used to hiding my impairment that it's weird now that people actually have a way to recognize that I am legally blind it's a little uncomfortable.
I have no issues with the other problems people go through, like feeling like I'm inferior, or feeling more disabled, or a few other things that don't come to mind right now. I'm not to worried about the problems I do have, everyone that is like me had to go through these hurtles.
So that is what I wanted to say for now. :)
If you guys have any questions feel free to ask. :)
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